Praying for freedom from this pain. This ends at 18. Only a year and roughly 3 months to go. For the pain I will cause my darling I will never forgive myself; even as a ghost. Though I could promise her the temporary pain will be worth it. For she will no longer be subjected to the daily pain I am causing her now.
I’ve started working on a neocities website to keep a record of everything as this goes on. It’s a strange situation I’m in. Though not unfamiliar. I was in this exact situation in grade nine as well. Familiar, yet unsettling. It doesn’t feel real. My mind can’t comprehend it. I’ve disconnected it from reality. It more than likely won’t seriously exist in my mind until I take real actions towards it.