asha ⋆｡˚

i've been busy taking an introductory electronics course. it's really cool. i've always wanted to explore science as a creative medium, being some of my favorite artists are scientists and engineers.

also been exploring ambient music and soundscapes. i really love drones and lush atmospheres that envelope you in a peaceful, comatose like state.

i keep finding myself falling back into being a shut-in no matter how old i get. i think that might be a core part of my programming or maybe it's just being heightened by the state of the world.

i find myself thinking a lot and contradicting myself. it's an interesting scenario to witness. i find pleasures in this life often. they are unorthodox compared to the pleasures often advertised to us but they are mine, and they make me happy. i'd like to open up more about them eventually

^ i drew this

neocities update. i plan on implementing flexbox this month and finishing my first page. i want to work on it faster but i'm trying not to stretch myself too thin. i really like doing this though. html as an art form is really fun, and i really like browsing other people's websites. my perspective on the internet is always evolving despite being on it my whole life.

devilsoftware.neocities.org

hello!

i've been really in the flow of making things and putting stuff out there since quitting social media. i realized i was trying to create perfect products at this unbelievable pace, not giving myself the space to figure out how to create something meaningful to my heart. i was allured by the promise of connecting with others through my work but found myself comparing myself to literal advertisements.

i love love love making music lately. i feel out of control in the process but in a good way. i feel like im witnessing a part of me that is still evolving and growing more and more every time i allow it to flow through. it makes me accomplished in a different way then drawing does. check it out if you like ethereal ambience and sensitive feelings

devilsoftware.neocities.org

devil software @ soundcloud

i also started working on my neocities! i have a lot of ideas for it and i'm very excited. trying to take it slow and be patient so i don't burn out, but it's one of my favorite projects to work on right now. i don't want to give a definite date on when my website will be ready, but i know it'll be before this summer for sure.

v happy. v excited. have a good night

1. 11. 23

i've been sketching more because i want to draw for myself again

here are a few

1. 8. 23

i have been creatively blocked for a couple of years now. investing energy into social media is my biggest regret. i find myself questioning my instincts more and more as time goes on. i feel bad for people who never got to experience a non-corporate internet. i can't imagine being wired to crave external validation so early in life. i'm grateful that i have a reference on what it was like to be young and in love with yourself. there is something very childlike and free about being in love with your own ideas.

this year i fully commit to expressing myself without bounds. i will create more and dig deeper into the parts of myself i have deemed evil. i have no intention to be a new version of myself, but embody someone who was there all along. for the first time in my life i am very aware how easy it is to lose yourself in the real world, and no longer am allowing myself to be tethered to it.