what do i even have to say? moved to my third, final, and favorite host family. i have a little brother and we visited their hometown last weekend. was fine never coming back to taiwan before bc i know nothing will ever be the same, but now i just want to live in the mountains of zhushan forever and ever. less than 40 days until i go home. reading less books because i walk to school instead of taking the train. took the tocfl and got b1 like i expected, top of my class. college still hasn't given me my financial aid offer...
Haiyo
site is back up, yay.
( *^-^)ρ(*╯^╰)
i'm pretty sure i checked on the day it first came back, but i put off writing something for a while. i had just gotten back into it when it went down so i was bummed for a while :(
doing a lot of thinking about castle country. on a roll with fixing tiny things that have a bigger impact on the whole thing. got a cheap little notebook from a store i pass on my way home from school and i'm using it to write little scenes i have bouncing around in my head, though it oftens ends up more like a third person journal where i just replace my name with the character's. still need to figure out the overarching plot beyond vague feelings.
summer job secured (mother told one of her farmer friends i'd be fine helping out. i am but i'm only getting paid in vegetables...) participating in one of the pre-orientation camping trips my university offers. i'm really stressed about the financial aid stuff still tho lolllll. i want to limit my screentime a lot more during the summer, using it only once a week or only after dark or something. farm job is probably going to be pretty flexible and my neighbor wants me to babysit her kids for at least one week, which at least i'll get paid for. best friend from middle school is going to the same uni...
after the boswell book i talked a lot about in my last post, i started working on a story about three guys in ancient crete. i want it to be in the style of a play, but realized i haven't read very many, so i decided to wait on writing more until i read some more. haven't gotten on that yet though. made a vtuber model with an ms paint doodle and only used her once before realizing my laptop's mic sucks ass. mostly using my sketchbook for background sketches these days, but still no good at drawing characters interacting with bgs.
i worry i've romanticized the idea of university too much and that i don't even want a degree. is it too late to back out now? my parents are pretty cool about a lot of things and generally left me to do my own thing when it came to school, but i can't help but feel like a lot of that is only because i was staying within the path they expected of me. on the other hand, the possibility of not going to college was never brought up by them, but it wasn't brought up by me either. if i stay in zhushan, none of it is a problem.
i've been reading/watching a lot of unapologetically bad fiction recently. reading a book i don't like a lot right now. it's not technically bad in anyway, it just doesn't suit my tastes. rereading bits of the seafort saga while the guy who read rodrigo reads it and these guys are so much less normal than i remembered. i talk to my classmates a little more. i look at the sky. transmission towers and power lines are my angels. i buy drinks and candy at different convenient stores. i wait for summer and then remember i could be enjoying my life right now. i miss my friends and i miss zhushan and i am simultaneously connected to everything and everyone and completely and utterly alone. i listen to music and i spend too much time on my phone. i don't remember any of my dreams but i think they're all good ones.
x