December 20th, 2023
been very lonely this holiday season. as a kid i used to hold a white elephant with a handful of people. upon leaving high school, two still stay in touch. it used to be three, but i lost a friend this year and still have no clue as to why. she just up and ghosted me. this, added up with how busy i am with appointments and work, has left me very isolated. i was excited to move back to my hometown, but i have probably seen my friends less now than i did when i lived 20 minutes away.
at least i have my boyfriend, but the winter is cold and reminds me of the large distance between him and i. i got to see a friend today too. that was nice. we even got some coffee. and i had fun at DnD too. there are nice bits in the massive sea of grey.
hopefully, if im here next year, things will be a bit easier. maybe ill have more friends, or maybe ill finally be able to be with my boyfriend. i just hope that ill be somewhere better. i dont think i can handle things being this harsh forever. my childhood was bad enough, i need a break.
happy holidays, whether youve already celebrated or are still waiting for the day. i hope you had/have a good one, or at least it goes as best as possible.
