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i hope the parents finally go back to work tomorrow. i miss having alone time at the apartment during the day. i'm just glad i got out of bed today first and foremost. i was very tempted not to.

i don't work till saturday this week. i want to hang out with people and leave the house. hopefully i can, once i'm covid free. still mad that it got brought home, i've been so careful with masking.

not sure what i'll do besides try and make plans. maybe i can finally start working on my neocities again. who knows.



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parents brought home covid. luckily i shouldn't get too sick, but i really can't afford to have another bad paycheck. so frustrating. oh well. guess i should focus on the fact i have more downtime.

maybe i can finally get around to remaking my neocities. i keep wanting to but i am really good at just watching youtube all day.

perhaps i'll do something smaller first, like remaking my spacehey layout. i just want to do something more than youtube and spacing out.

i suppose i should also make sure to get plenty of rest as i am sick...

whenever i wanna blog blog


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 02 . 15 . 2024

in other news, i really need to figure out disability stuff soon, i literally will not be able to leave the house once it gets hot out. it will be wayyyy too painful

had a date with my bf last night that was really nice <3 watched some anime together. i cant wait till i can finally have him in my arms


whenever i wanna blog blog


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02. 08 . 2014

got a new shirt today

didnt go to group therapy today. felt way too anxious about going in nd just wasnt feeling it. instead i got to go to goodwill and get myself some shirts :3

filed my taxes and stuff too but my ass still has to go to the neighboring town to get my insurance stuff squared away.


i still need to set up so many doctors appointments. theres so much i need to do. life is so much but u gotta keep goin.


art by me

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fuck work man

diary log


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02 . 01 . 2024

i go back to work tmrw a whole week after getting written up for not doing stuff i definitely did. i love managers w small egos that take it out on employees. not my fault ur marriage sucks and u hate life bc ur middle management

idk how much longer i can keep this job

this lady nukes ur schedule over nothing

no shit im mad i hardly have hours as is. gfy

+ then asked my sib if i was "mad" abt it

cant change it tho. just gotta hope i can get help fillin shit out so i can finally get on disability or some shit

SOTD: 757 - 100 GECS

Goalz 4 2024 and rambles


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- Keep insurance

- Get on disability

- Get license

- Visit boyfriend

- Healthier habits

- Move out

- Stay in therapy


Idk if all of these r obtainable but i sure hope so. My body is imploding nd working is not making it easier. Dont even make enuff money to really save either. Life is such bs but i gotta keep trying i suppsoe. Smths gotta give

have a lovely

   day :)

about me


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- it/ey/he prns

- early 20s

- abrosexual & transgender

- anarcho communist

- disabled therian

- EST timezone



hello, im halcyon, but you can call me hal. decided i wanted to do a proper introduction. i use this website as kind of a blog, kind of a poetry space, and kind of a stream of consciousness all wrapped up into one. i really love sharks, pokemon, music, pathology, invader zim, and mass effect. i code (html/css), make kandi, and play video games in my spare time. its nice to meet you

@halcybutton is my handle almost everywhere ^_^


fave artists:

Jan 2024 ranking

It aint high folks

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January 24th, 2024

H How has 2024 been?

Well, in the first month I've nearly lost my job due to a lady's

big ego, and I can't figure out how to reapply for my insurance

because the page I keep getting directed to says I have nothing

to reapply for. Mystery health problems are getting worse too.

Rating this first month 2/10, hopefully next month is better.

just ruminating


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December 20th, 2023

been very lonely this holiday season. as a kid i used to hold a white elephant with a handful of people. upon leaving high school, two still stay in touch. it used to be three, but i lost a friend this year and still have no clue as to why. she just up and ghosted me. this, added up with how busy i am with appointments and work, has left me very isolated. i was excited to move back to my hometown, but i have probably seen my friends less now than i did when i lived 20 minutes away.

at least i have my boyfriend, but the winter is cold and reminds me of the large distance between him and i. i got to see a friend today too. that was nice. we even got some coffee. and i had fun at DnD too. there are nice bits in the massive sea of grey.

hopefully, if im here next year, things will be a bit easier. maybe ill have more friends, or maybe ill finally be able to be with my boyfriend. i just hope that ill be somewhere better. i dont think i can handle things being this harsh forever. my childhood was bad enough, i need a break.

happy holidays, whether youve already celebrated or are still waiting for the day. i hope you had/have a good one, or at least it goes as best as possible.



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i wonder when the holes in my walls began to grow eyes

i look to the moon and i wonder

i wonder when the world began being aware of all of my sins

i wonder when the last time i felt a true emotion was

i wonder when i'll find my home in the arms of someone warm

i wonder if i'll live to see 26

i wonder why i was built with so many inherent flaws

i wonder why i was allowed to be hurt like i was

and then i go to sleep.

first post


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no idea what this really is lol, but it seems fun, and i like trying out new places.