life stuff, bit all over the place

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so much music has been released

this month by the artists i listen to,

so thats been fun ^_^

been watching lots of youtube,

been wanting to play video

games but depression is evil


accidentally missed a psych appt

which sucked, made me real anxious.

all i can do is reschedule and hope

she aint mad at me. had dnd tonight

which was a treat as always. hopefully

this summer will be my summer :)


welcome back multiverse

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It's been a while, huh?

Wasn't expecting to see this site up again,

but clicked every so often, hoping...

and look, it's back :-)

since it went down, my birthday has came and went

it wasn't a great birthday but i suppose not awful

one year i'll finally be able to spend it with my bf

and that's all that matters to me.

besides that, nothing has really happened.

my life is a total snoozefest lol. see you next time




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life is so exhausting sometimes lol. so much needs to be done but my brain cant follow thru for the life of me. my body is a mess too. no time to just sit and figure shit out

have to wait months to see another doctor about my issues and i quite literally cannot last that long with my job. hopefully i can find smth else

hopefully i can catch a break soon. i dont think i can keep up w everything if things keep fucking up or getting heavily delayed. on the upside, been drawing more lately. thats a good thing.

SOTD: false awakening - gupi



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i hope the parents finally go back to work tomorrow. i miss having alone time at the apartment during the day. i'm just glad i got out of bed today first and foremost. i was very tempted not to.

i don't work till saturday this week. i want to hang out with people and leave the house. hopefully i can, once i'm covid free. still mad that it got brought home, i've been so careful with masking.

not sure what i'll do besides try and make plans. maybe i can finally start working on my neocities again. who knows.



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parents brought home covid. luckily i shouldn't get too sick, but i really can't afford to have another bad paycheck. so frustrating. oh well. guess i should focus on the fact i have more downtime.

maybe i can finally get around to remaking my neocities. i keep wanting to but i am really good at just watching youtube all day.

perhaps i'll do something smaller first, like remaking my spacehey layout. i just want to do something more than youtube and spacing out.

i suppose i should also make sure to get plenty of rest as i am sick...

whenever i wanna blog blog


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 02 . 15 . 2024

in other news, i really need to figure out disability stuff soon, i literally will not be able to leave the house once it gets hot out. it will be wayyyy too painful

had a date with my bf last night that was really nice <3 watched some anime together. i cant wait till i can finally have him in my arms


whenever i wanna blog blog


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02. 08 . 2014

got a new shirt today

didnt go to group therapy today. felt way too anxious about going in nd just wasnt feeling it. instead i got to go to goodwill and get myself some shirts :3

filed my taxes and stuff too but my ass still has to go to the neighboring town to get my insurance stuff squared away.


i still need to set up so many doctors appointments. theres so much i need to do. life is so much but u gotta keep goin.


art by me

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fuck work man

diary log


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02 . 01 . 2024

i go back to work tmrw a whole week after getting written up for not doing stuff i definitely did. i love managers w small egos that take it out on employees. not my fault ur marriage sucks and u hate life bc ur middle management

idk how much longer i can keep this job

this lady nukes ur schedule over nothing

no shit im mad i hardly have hours as is. gfy

+ then asked my sib if i was "mad" abt it

cant change it tho. just gotta hope i can get help fillin shit out so i can finally get on disability or some shit

SOTD: 757 - 100 GECS

Goalz 4 2024 and rambles


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- Keep insurance

- Get on disability

- Get license

- Visit boyfriend

- Healthier habits

- Move out

- Stay in therapy


Idk if all of these r obtainable but i sure hope so. My body is imploding nd working is not making it easier. Dont even make enuff money to really save either. Life is such bs but i gotta keep trying i suppsoe. Smths gotta give

have a lovely

   day :)

about me


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- it/ey/he prns

- early 20s

- abrosexual & transgender

- anarcho communist

- disabled therian

- EST timezone



hello, im halcyon, but you can call me hal. decided i wanted to do a proper introduction. i use this website as kind of a blog, kind of a poetry space, and kind of a stream of consciousness all wrapped up into one. i really love sharks, pokemon, music, pathology, invader zim, and mass effect. i code (html/css), make kandi, and play video games in my spare time. its nice to meet you

@halcybutton is my handle almost everywhere ^_^


fave artists:

Jan 2024 ranking

It aint high folks

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January 24th, 2024

H How has 2024 been?

Well, in the first month I've nearly lost my job due to a lady's

big ego, and I can't figure out how to reapply for my insurance

because the page I keep getting directed to says I have nothing

to reapply for. Mystery health problems are getting worse too.

Rating this first month 2/10, hopefully next month is better.

just ruminating


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December 20th, 2023

been very lonely this holiday season. as a kid i used to hold a white elephant with a handful of people. upon leaving high school, two still stay in touch. it used to be three, but i lost a friend this year and still have no clue as to why. she just up and ghosted me. this, added up with how busy i am with appointments and work, has left me very isolated. i was excited to move back to my hometown, but i have probably seen my friends less now than i did when i lived 20 minutes away.

at least i have my boyfriend, but the winter is cold and reminds me of the large distance between him and i. i got to see a friend today too. that was nice. we even got some coffee. and i had fun at DnD too. there are nice bits in the massive sea of grey.

hopefully, if im here next year, things will be a bit easier. maybe ill have more friends, or maybe ill finally be able to be with my boyfriend. i just hope that ill be somewhere better. i dont think i can handle things being this harsh forever. my childhood was bad enough, i need a break.

happy holidays, whether youve already celebrated or are still waiting for the day. i hope you had/have a good one, or at least it goes as best as possible.



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i wonder when the holes in my walls began to grow eyes

i look to the moon and i wonder

i wonder when the world began being aware of all of my sins

i wonder when the last time i felt a true emotion was

i wonder when i'll find my home in the arms of someone warm

i wonder if i'll live to see 26

i wonder why i was built with so many inherent flaws

i wonder why i was allowed to be hurt like i was

and then i go to sleep.

first post


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no idea what this really is lol, but it seems fun, and i like trying out new places.