MrsMoe ☽

@mrsmoe

Aa

Feeling Trapped

Composed on

I don't think I ever realized how much I took my old home for granted.

In mid-2021, my family had to move to a remote northern town without any public spaces. The reason? My grandma owns several houses around here and she was willing to give us one without having to pay for rent. The pandemic had pretty much fucked over the housing prices of just about anywhere else, so there really wasn't any other option and I'm grateful for all that she's done for us.

But that still doesn't change the fact that this damn house is pretty much all I have for now. If I'm having conflicts with my family or I feel distressed by the news, I can't go out somewhere for a healthy distraction.

And of course, I don't have any fucking friends either.

I'm so lonely and overwhelmed every goddamn day and there's nothing I can do about it. I want to live a normal life like a normal fucking person. I hate having to live my life in complete limbo, never knowing if I can truly have a social life or if I can make it in the world. All this waiting is making me sick.

I somewhat hate my younger self for wanting to isolate herself all the time. I can't necessarily blame my traumatized ass, but I could've had friends. I could've found people outside of my school or I could've gone to a different one but instead, I had to curl in my room and feel sorry for myself. My life was still pretty shit, but at least I technically had freedom....which is more than I can say for my current self.

My Anxiety With A.I Art

Composed on

So, I feel like I have to clarify that I'm barely an artist. I'm still learning the basics and I haven't even developed a style yet. Plus, I'm still working with paper. Every time I've tried to use digital art programs, it's gone horribly.

With that being said, I hope I never ever have to resort to using an art generator.

I love art. Not just paintings and drawings, but the entire spectrum of it. I love movies, video games, and music with all my heart. You could say most people do, but most people I've come across tend to have a very passive relationship with them. I strongly believe that art is what elevates us from regular animals and makes us truly human. Just trying to understand out emotions and express them into something tangible truly speaks volumes about species' self-enlightenment.

That's why watching art be thrown aside by the hands of Capitalism has been so distressing for me.

I don't want to pretend that the modern internet ruined art. It's definitely connected a lot of people and given many an artistic voice that they couldn't have otherwise. And it's not like corporate greed conflicting with art is a new thing at all.

However, I feel like the centralization of the internet and the rise of streaming have played a huge role in us treating art disposably. With streaming services, movies and TV shows are no longer carefully crafted labors of love. There are many artists and creators that treat them as such, but in the eyes of Netflix or Amazon, they're used as padding. Just more fluff to fill up their website catalogues and have a dick measuring contest for who has the most "content". But what's worse is the way people use them totally validates their cynical tactics. Apparently, most people use Netflix just something to put on and not really engage with. Something to binge for a few hours on a Saturday afternoon and then immediately forget about before moving on to whatever's next. I apologize if I seem presumptuous, but this has definitely what I've experienced.

Social media has barely helped as well. Both Twitter and Tumblr (but MAINLY Twitter) have made sharing and archiving your art a needless challenge. Censorship, poor tagging systems, and algorithms have made it increasingly difficult to share what you've made and have it be seen by the world. But even when it is seen by the world, it's still treated as "content". It gets shared for about a week, then buried and forgotten about. No matter how time-consuming or meaningful a work of art was to you, it's still gonna get smothered underneath an avalanche of newer content. People are gonna find your art, like it, and then scroll past it. It's just another post to observe, than forget about.

You might be wondering what any of this has to do with A.I art, but I believe all of this has created the perform storm that's allowed it to thrive. The internet has basically become a replacement for our lives and with it, it's commodified art and made it interchangeable with other social media fodder. The process, meaning, or relevancy of art is barely on the common person's mind anymore, so from their perspective, what could possibly be wrong with A.I art? Art isn't a manifestation of the human soul, it's a fun little distraction to mass produce! Who cares if it lacks a soul? What matters is that it's made quickly and I can have lots of it!

That's why I talked a bit about movies and other forms of art. I doubt A.I generators are gonna stop at illustrations. They've already begun using A.I in animation and video games (fuck High on Life), so where are they gonna stop? Are we gonna have generated screenplays? Cartoons? Songs? I hate fucking thinking about it.

Anyways, sorry for that. And I'm sorry if what I've sound really pretentious. This is just something I've been feeling for a very long time and I had to spit it all out in one sitting. I deeply apologize if I've assumed some things (cause like I said, I'm not an artist. I'm just friends with plenty who are and have expressed their own anxieties to me).

Kin list!!!!!

Composed on

Yes, I know. Kinning is cringe, but I'm free (and it's actually helped me on my road to loving myself).

Top Kins:

- Crona Gorgon (Soul Eater)

- Shinji Ikari (NGE)

- Lain Iwakura (Serial Experiments Lain

- Sunny (Omori)

- Wirt (OTGW)

- Edward Scissorhands

- Lydia Deetz (Beetlejuice)

- Pearl and Lapis Lazuli (SU)






Secondary Kins:

- Madotsuki (Yume Nikki)

- Jane Doe/Penny Lamb (Ride the Cyclone)

- Yuri (DDLC)

- Dib Membrane (Invader Zim)

- Zuko (ATLA)

- Mimikyu (Pokemon)

- Napstablook (Undertale)

- Red Guy (DHMIS)







(Yes, I'm well aware how mentally ill this makes me look. No need to remind me.)

An Introduction (or whatever idk)

Composed on

Good evening, mortals....

sorry that's really cringe i won't do that again

...But yeah! Hi! I'm Moe (or Morgan, if you wanna use my real name)! I'm a wannabe goth living in Canada with a passion for film and art! I'm no good at art though and probably won't be for a while, but I still love art as a general concept.

My biggest obsession is probably horror media, but mainly surreal and psychological horror. I also really love animation, especially anime and stop motion. I'm actually trying to make stop motion shorts of my own at the moment, so I hope I can call myself an animator one day.

Not sure if anyone's gonna bother, but my twitter is @irlcronagoron (...cause I'm a massive crona kinnie) and my letterboxd also goes by MrsMoe! If you wanna contact directly me though, you should hit me up on discord. My username is MrsMoe#7860

I don't know exactly what I'm gonna write about, but this site looks pretty fun. I've always wanted a highly personalized webpage, but I'm too dumb to use neocities. I could probably learn coding if I really tried, but it seems so overwhelming to me. So yeah, this place seems like a good compromise.

Anyways, yeah! Glad to be here! Let's get spooky!