hi the internet! ^_^ its me againnn Lolll! and Oh man. its 11:51 pm and im stuck with my own mind. trying to fight slepeing. oh MAN. i was practicing my drums and dude. genuinely its so hard! at least jazz drums i feel like a fraud! annd aside from all my funny business, i think my teacher believes in me t oo much! like hes always telling me liiiiiike that im going liike rly well but like. i actually suck so bad! and i know practice makes perfect( which i freaking am omg)! but idk i feel like such a FRAUD all the time!!! my advisor for the team im on.. i have become super close with her but ive never had her as a teacher before
and when i tell u this lady believes in me she BELIEVES in me. its crazy! and its super nicebut i feel like ive totally fooled her into thinking im this awesome genius girl LOLOLOLLLL???? i feel like im FOOLING EVERONe into thinking im someone im not!!!!!!!!!!! and then one day... THeyll all Know. Ill get her AS A TEACHER and shell realize im not a genius and that i actually dont nkow anything *CRIESSSSSSSSSSS*. and its not like im not used to people believing in me! maybe i jutst dont bleieve in myself. but for gud reasonn i FR SUCK AT THE DRUMS oh my freaking god triplets are my worst enemy why would anyone do that to me i am foreal rage quitting! i think i just need people to stop caring so much abt my potential. or to stop believing in me so hard. or MAYBE im a narccissist. maybe i need to stop caring so much about everything!maybe ill keep this a short post! HAaha lol
