BY JACCO GARDNER

"I'll be waiting

If you ever feel like changing

Time has told me

What has happened

Now it′s over for a second

Now will be a day for me and

You to cry out in the summer

To another world where we can

Have it over I don't have her"

YO INTERNET I ACTUALLY MADE IT TO THIS MONYAY!! i am currently sitting on a little bottom bunk in a ucsb dorm room with two asb girls from my school at this FREAKY little asb camp... which i will be here until thursday!! Yayy... i was scared i wouldnt be able to make a monyay post... but alas... i will just make a short one today because it is currently 10:50PM and my friends need to sleep and we need to be up at like 7 freaking AM because these days last SO FREAKIN LONG BRO. and today was the first day... its alright.. i guess. just kinda how it expected it and exactly how it was last year. ohmygod so my friend.. shes the asb vice president and ive known her since the fourth grade and TODAY SHE JUST REVEALED SHE IS DATING THE ONE MAN IN THIS WORLD THAT I HATE. and im saying this because she is currently on a call with him on the bunk on top of me and he is genuinely the worst person i have ever met and idk how anyone could date him. But i like Her... so i tryst her i Guess. but Wow just hearing his voice on call rn is Really pissing me off. anyways. week review. lowkey a horirble interesting week. lots happened... asb things... which was just a lot of work and stressful but i wont get into it... i hungout with my friends at a farmers market and it was SUPER LITTT and fun and i got these Sick jazz shirts. and then i had a sleepover with my BIffle Bae and we practiced for our AWESOME OPEN MIC WE WENT TO!!! it was so AWesome and we went to our awesome firneds house who ALSO perform at the open mic and we were ALL THERE and i was like Wow.

BY BIG THIEF

BY PLAYDATE

BY ALL NATURAL LEMON & LIME FLAVORS

This is so awesome. and i was so happy Heehee the world is finally healed and awesome and im so happy! and i ate some FIRREE filipino food TWICE this week and Wow i love filipino food oh my god i actually Busted. Heh. and me and da biffle bae practiced and performed fox in the snow by belle and sebastian and it was terrifying and i definitely was relly bad but you know what i DID IT and i think thats what matters actually!!!!!!!!!!! i love music and it was awesome! and speaking of music when i went to my open mic friends hosue and we weree all there they just CASUALLY just chilled and played music and harmonized and they have like orginal songs they write and its like Holy crap im surrounded with this awesome talented people i was actually mind blown Dead in my seat. it was so cool and im so lucky to be surrounded by awesome people! so that was actually really awesome and i was like so Yas vibes the entire time!!!! so Yay! that was the awesome parts of my week!! i also played piano tiles with me and my biffle baes toes and it was really fun. and we watched dear dumb diary. what a fun and joyous time!!! ok now the horrible evil pits of the week... i keep updating on this but Oh my god my sister coming out is just getting worse and worse actually i think im going to go back in the closet and die because my mom had this long like 4 hour talk with me about my sister that. i dont have the effort or Strength to go into detail but basically being gay is immoral and shes going to hell and shes faking being bi because shes going thru a thing and its fine until its her own daughter and all this crap and i was on the VERGE of coming out to my mom that night because of how much

"It's a little bit magic

Like a river of morning geese

In the new warm mountain

Where the stone face forms and speaks

I believe in you

Even when you need to recoil"

she was talking about how upset she was at my sister for lying and all this crap. but i ended up telling her i waas straight!!!! actually genuinely i dont know what is wrong with me because i can lie SO easily it scares me. i am ABLE to sit through hours of my mom telling me she believes she failed her daughters because one is gay and how immoral it is and how wrong it is to be gay and i just SAT THERE. i SAT there and listened and did nothing. barely argued. just nodded my head and told her i was straight. i only cried afterwards. but idk it freaks me out how easily im able to sit there and fabricate a whole story for my mom to believe that im this Christian God Lovin Church Volunteering Straight Girl. because she fully believes it. and i am just feeding her all these FLAT STRAIGHT OUT lies and it scarres me. and the worst part is that it doesnt really eat me alive anymore. i am able to lie and do things i "shouldnt" and they dont eat me alive with guilt like it would a normal person. idk if thats normal but the way everyone talks makes me feel like a Horrible Gal for this. but i think im just really good at avoiding things and avoiding my feelings and avoiding my problems to the point where i avoid guilt as well and just push it far away so i dont feel any of it. Maybe. Sorry got too deep there. but it freaks me out that i feel nothing for doing all these bad things. anyways my mom did tell me that itd be fine it i was gay because ive been like this my whole life so Thanks i guess but also id rather die than come out toher.

"Thank you for staying on

I really did not feel like going home

The moon, it's hanging up over mountainside

And your voice is sounding like something right

Of course it is"

"Don't race me down

To see the floor and hit the ground

Rewind, 'cause I don't want to let go

Till now, tonight I was

And now we're asking should I never die?

And never grow apart"

idk it was all just was such a harsh reminder of the situation im in and that ill never really be accepted. for who i am. and im going to deal with all this shit when im older and maybe im just making it worse by not telling my parents right now? i dunno but everything really sucks knowing that love is conditional. not like my parents wouldnt love me if i came out to me. but theyll feel like they failed as parents and never want to meet my significant other and be embarassed to tell family members about it. because thats how they feel with my sister. and Oh man that knowledge is horrible... i always knew they werent accepting but now i know the reality of it. Shoutout to my siter for being the guinea pig! (i havent told her anything my mom said because i cant bear to repeat it to her and break her heart. that she is banned from bringing her gf around). idk sorry for being such a debby downer but That just really sucks Rn. and i Needed to tell someone about it without feeling guilty for like subjecting someone to traumadumping or venting or whatever the word is. IF YOU READ THIS IT IS AT UR OWN DISCRETION. Thx multiverse. anyways... my summer is BASCAILLY OVER!! and this asb camp is so stressful im so ready for it to be over. i think genuinely i cannot get along with 90% of people in this world IDK WHATS WRONG WITH ME oh my god i cant describe it. im in a council with a bunch of random asb kids from the camp and idk anyone and holy crap. i feel like an alien trying to be hip or something and failing HOW DOES EVERYONE JUST KNOW HOW TO ACT. i just end out looking so stupid or being SUPER awkward or rambling or seomthing and IDK HOW TO BE NORMAL. and then i feel like im trying TOO hard and theres no Use and everyone is Def judging me and thinks im weird and im stuck in a loop!!

BY BIG THIEF

"With her long black hair

It's not the open weaving

Nor the furnace glow

Nor the blood of you bleeding

As you try to let go"

i just feel so StUPID like everyone knows everything but me!!!!!!!!!! and its weird because ive ALWASYS considered myself an outgoing person but Slap me into a group of random kids my age in this loud overwhelming camp and suddenly i am unable to speak to anyone without looking like an Idiot. i cant descibe it but the feeling i feel . i SWERAR IM OUTGOING IM LITERALLY IN ASB BRO. i think im just gonna settle for just being the girl that sometimes talks but isnt rly tight with anyone and just kinda chill in the back and casually participates. thats a good compromise.... im not ANTISOCIAL. I FEEL SO SILLY I NEED THIS CAMP TO BE OVERRRRR IM GONNA DIE THIS IS ACTUALLY MY PERSONAL HELLLL HOW DO PEOPLE DO ITTT *Cries*.. maybe i think this has just been a super stressful week and im feelin Down on myself. being with asb people always makes me feel like im a really negative person beaccuse i dislike a Lot of asb people (but ONLY asb people... idk why asb is just a different breed of evil) and then im like Wow why am i so negative maybe just be normal? but its only with asb so maybe asb is just filled with evil people ALL the time and its not me.. (its definitely me. and that also makes ME an evil asb person. Lol.). Idk wat im saying. but anyway ALSO the people from my school are the types... and i love all of them with all my heart there are 4 other people here from my school... but oh my god they wont shut up about their food 'jokes'. fun fact EATING FOOD DOES NOT EQUAL BEING UNHEALTHY!!!

ok one of them is on a diet and wont shut up about it... like actually hes on a hardcore diet which like Yas king but also im gonna die. and ALL THIS crap about calories oh my god i literally bought an APPLE JUICE from the gas station and Mr Diet was like that for 90 calories.. Yikes??? oh my god. genuinely im sorry waht the hell is wrong with people that its normal for people to comment shit about calorie count and call eachtother "fatty" and "bigback" just because youre fucking EATING FOOD. you have ZERO fucking idea what ANYONE is going through and its SO FUCKED UP and i cant STAND IT ANYMORE. and i HAVE TO BE WITH THIS ATTITUDE OF PEOPLE FOR 4 DAYS STRAIGHT. 3 MEALS A DAY FOR 4 DAYS of NONSTOP... "omg im still hungry! im gonna go get more food from this yummy dining hall!" "FATTY FATASS OMG U EAT SO MANY CALORIES". how about you go die???? words CANNOT EXPLAIN. a person will eat One thing to.. idk NOURISH THEIR BODY and everyone will call them fat and not to MENTION how much it reeks of fatphobia. sorry ive talked about this before and how much it bothers me but im just in a REALLY concentrated environment of ALL FOUR PEOPLE in my school acting like this (when ok not to be that girl. but they are all skinny little sticks and I Am the Biggest Person There. HaHahhAHhah hSo Funny HahHAHAHAHAHAH im laughing so hard.). just admit to urself u have eating problems without perpetuating and subjecting other people into that crap please genuinely i cant stnad it anymore idk how i have gone this far without. dying. i think by the end of these 4 days i might actually die maybe if i hear one more calorie fatty comment whatever the hell these people say. I could talk about this for hours and hours and holy crap i made this post actually long... oopsss i should be asleep actually it was lights out ages ago... but Rough Week i guess got a lot i had to say. Haha Sorry if u actually read this post its actually probably the worst one yet. maybe im just really hungry rn MmMM i want food (Haha maybe if i wasnt surrounded by absolute freaks who nitpick every fucking thing you put on your plate i wouldve eaten more for dinner Haha!!) Sorry i just cant get over that this is a real thing thats normal. anyways. SORRY YEAH ACTUAL MONYAY POST IS REAL!!! no promises about next monyay and the monyay after that.. next monyay im gonna be in an airbnb with a bunch of random strangers for a fellowship in the forest and the week after im on a vacay roadtrip with the fam so Idk. Time will tell Ig. Sorry this post was so sad actually im so chill Rn. it was just a rough week Maybe. Staying positive through it all (Definitely yay). Yay goodnight wish me luck on the rest of this asb camp because I'm going to need it. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

YOOOO INTERNET WHAT IS UP IN THE HOUSE IS IT ME BROOKE AGAIN!!! for what might be the last monyay forEVER (jk. last monyay for the next 3 weeks MAYBE... i MIGHT get time to make a short post on one or two of the monyays? but im not really sure). this week has been SO OVERWHELMING BRO. i feel like im suffocating and dying and this upcoming week im also super mega busy and i feel like im gonna EXPLODE!! IT ALL CAME AND WENT TOO FAST BRO im gonna die!! i feel like i have no time to be chill. i dont even know where to start on my week overview updates. i guess da monyay class. but lowkey todays class was the most normal monyay class i think ever... OR maybe i blacked out during the entire hour. i have been so dissociated?derealized? whatever the hell the word is where you feel like youre watching your life through a screen and my mind is separated from my body. and then i realize HOly crap im in this body and i have control of it. idk its freakin me out. and i felt so out of my body during my class today too. so Yay! but anyways... no congas today *growls* but i played the latin beat from last week bc i practiced a lot and he was rly impressed! he even was like "Omg is isaac still here" (sub from those two times)...

BY THE HEX DISPENSERS

BY AUSMUTEANTS

BY CAVEMEN

"Everybody's got a problem that will

Make somebody have a problem

That person is a time bomb

That person is a nightmare factory

That person is a time bomb

That person is a nightmare factory"

"He acts oh so dull

A hoof cracked his skull

Kicked in the head by a horse

His brain is unstable

And jumping up out of that stable

I'vе been kicked in the head by a horsе"

"Kiss me

I'll kiss you

Hold me

I'll Hold you

Love me

I love you

Kill me

I'm dying

Never wanna be this way, I'm just a dog on a chain

but he wasnt there but nico was like Omg hed be SOoOo Imprissed and stuff he Loves latin percussion or something like that so i felt like a Baddie cool girl. and so we did that.... THEN randomly he was like Actually i wanna try doing rock today!!! YAY!! so we practiced fills and stuff... i love jazz and all but imm glad we did rock! it was cool... i learned about a new type of like Idk thing idk what its called but it was awesome. and he was like "hm im very impressed brooke you alwyas pick things up very very fast im always impressed!" so i was like YEYYY PAWS UP IN THE AIR :333 i also learned how to change a cymbal. so that was Sick. and then i was freaked out because he literally yelled at me last week but No we did scales and i was happy and i did everything good even though i was confused at half diminished.. +7... whatever... idk... but i got it eventually. i think i need to stop acting like im dumb in that class because i alwyas feel liek i dont understand when i do and i think he thinks im a lot dumber than i actually am... i just dont wanna act cocky and then look stupid when im wrong so i just act Extra dumb to make sure im all good but then it makes me look stupid when i actually understand. anyways i felt really out of my body this whole class so i kinda dont remember. but i did well! and he forgot about the open mic THANK JESUS I WAS PRAYING HE FORGOT and i did NOT remind him. so he is NOT going. thank You Eveyrone. he told me to bring a practice pad to my trips which is funny... i guess ill bring it to my family vacay.. it would be weird if i took it to asb camp or my internship thing lol.

but yeah... idk todays class was so Normal i was liek Wow this is so normal! but i parked really hoirrbly. embarassing! anyways!!! the rest of my week was Chillin! my sister came home and my hip gay cousin from oklahoma was here so that was cool!! although i always become super evil and a hoirrble person when my sisters are home so i felt like my hip cousin from oklahoma hates me. but they all left now... my sister is visiting my other sister for aweek so now its just me in the house with my parents which is fine i guess!!!! im busy.... anyways.... OMG YK WHAT HAPPENED??? so on saturday i slept reallyyyy bad so i was really tired in the morning and my family came over that day for my sisters b day and so before they came i was so tired and my sister told me to drink one of her Yerba Mate energy drink things.... if yk what im talking about... they r basically just energy drinks that are fancy Idk... ive had like 1/5th of one before (i forgot it in the car in the morning once so i never finished it) so i was like ok! but backstory about me is that ive actually never had an energy drink in my life because Idk... my parents always talked about how bad they are... and so thus they have always freaked me out so ive avoided them my whole life... and ALSO ive don't like the taste of coffee so ive never had a cup of coffee before.... so the most caffeine ive ever had in my life is like a can of soda or a chai tea latte (ive had at most 40 mg?)... SO ALL THAT TO SAY i didnt really think about it and i drank like MOST of that can of tropical whatever yerba mate energy drink.. which has total 150 mg of caffeine (NOT EVEN ALL OF IT!!!!) and OH MY GOD. it felt like SOMEONE LITERALLY DRUGGED ME like i felt like?? idk how to explain it but holy crap it was actually HOIRRBLE!!!

BY DIRTY FENCES

BY LCD SOUNDSYSTEM

i cant freaking find the lyrics to this song or literally any other song i have put on here and i am actually too lazy to listen to it and write out the lyrics... but i reallylike this song its fire...

"Everybody makes mistakes

But I feel alright when I come undone

You are not making me wait

But it seems alright as long as something's happening

I try to make you late

But you fighting me off like a fire does

You try making me wait

But it feels alright as long as something's happening"

liek my whole body felt tingly in a bad way and i was exhausted but also jittery.. like jittery but i couldnt move at all.. and I COULD NOT FREAKING BREATHE. like i was full on hyperventilating for a while there. and literally it got so bad i cried like 5 times (and i NEVER CRY BRO.) then i got all dissociated-y and everything felt so weird and disconnected and i actually felt like my whole body was going to explode. IT WAS SO BAD I FELT HORRIBLE!!! AFTER LITERALLY ONE FREAKING ENERGY DRINK BRO. so lesson learned im never having an energy drink EVER AGAIN oh my GOD WHY DID IT FEEL LIKE I WAS GENUINELY TRIPPING AND TWEAKING!! so that was really unfun... literally how Tf do people drink a lot of caffeine without feeling like that... like What the hell does it do to normal people if not that bro.. so Yeah that was really weird. but lesson learned i guess!! Zomg also asb has been so evil recently its been stressing me out SO BADDDD BRO we are doing freshman admissions for asb and Holy crap the president and vp are doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHIGN. its SO DISORGANIZED. SO LAST MINUTE. and they DONT EVEN CARE. so its all up to the sec, tresurer and me to do everything and im gonna die its horrible and im writing emails and answering like A MILLION DMS A SECOND doing all this crap. Growl. but the freshmen are really cute they are all really nice and Lowkey they are GLAZING MEEEE!!! so Thx. one of them said they wanna be like me when theyre a senior and that im rly pretty. Heehee *blush*. thanks IVY!!!! i feel cool.

but yeah!! i also had a hangout with my friends and we made piza and watched despicable me 4 and i think i had the most funnest time ever!!! it was so fun and awesome and i love my friends. anyway.. ive been SOOO out of it i feel so UNREAL DUDE!! like im gonna explode maybe. all the politics happening right now maybe is horrible i never wanna hear about any of it ever again and its all my parents are ever talking about and they r like.. republicans and stuff... so its like i feel hoirrble... UHUFHUFHUGH!! and update on my sister coming out to my parents, i was complaining about my sister for doing something small like idk i forgot but my mom was like "She'll straighten out... just give her time.." and she left then came back and was like "let me just address the elephant in the room.." and was talking about my sister and her gf and that she thinks my sister should have higher standards? (she doesnt think her gf is good looking) but that is so CLEARLY CLEARLY prejudiced... her gf is a BLACK BUTCH LESBIAN. short hair... full on stud (baddie). so that take was celarly from a place of homophbia (and probably racism) so yay!!Yayy! and she kept brinigng up how she wished my sister dated the guys that were interested in her and she wished my sister was just friends with her gf instead of romantic with her and that "its not abt the fact that shes a girl!! i jsut dont like her!!" (theyve never met) and that she can tolerate it but my dad told my mom that he doesnt want anything to do with i.t.... and my mom is just waiting for her to "straighten out" (which is very poorly worded...). and Oh man. i couldnt even say anything... i didnt wanna argue im so ssick of aruging with her on those topics so i just Sat there while she said all this crap homophobia horribleness disguised as other stuff. its just like. Oh!! will she think its a phase when i come out too? will she be like this when i come out?will she just be like "oh brooke will straighten out soon enough"? because Holy crap it feels horrible to hear all that from your own mother about my sister. but also my sister IS a little... not... like... i dont disagree that she is going through some type of thing rn

cuz nothing she does feels like HER. idk its complicated. i feel like evil because in some sense i agree with my mom that she is going through a funk rn (but i disagree that its because shes bi and dating a girl. a different kinda funk. a funk shes been in for a while). but also UGHHH ITS HORRIBLE IM GONNA DIE IF I THINK ABOUT IT. ok whatever anyways its all too complicated to write out.. also Oversharing alert. naywyassss a week from today im leaving for.. EVIL ASB CAMP FOR 4 DAYS AT UCSB IM GOING TO DIE!!!! last year was horrible and evil and they FORCE you into a council with NO ONE FROM UR SCHOOL and FORCE YOU to make friends with all the asb kids and ONE THING abt asb kids is that they are all evil and impossible to get along with!!!!!!111 and im stuck with them... for 4 days straight... i like the people from MY school that are going but i wont even be with them because they split us all up into councils... im actually gonna die. im not cut out to be a social girl i think.!! im scared. i feel like i have such a hard time getting along with like 90% of people in this world and IDK WATS WRONG WITH ME!!!! IDK IM IN SUCH A FUNK RN I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE A HORRIBLE GAL WHEN BOTH MY SISTERS COME HOME BRO !!!! IDK WHY!!! Ugh guys im sorry this has been a tough week i am way too out of it for DIS LIFE BRO! im too stressed/freaked to respond to any messages and i feel so bad!!!!!!!!! Guys the summer thing is happening NOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOO NAWWWWWWWWWW. THINKING POSITIVELY DOE. ME EVEERYDAY BECAUSE BEING ALIVE IS SO COOL. OK I COULD COMPLAIN ABT OTHER STUFF BUT IM NOT GONNA B THAT GAL SO GOODBYE ill HOPEFULLY try to get a post up next monyay at my asb camp but i might not be able to... we will see.. ITS ALL CHIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL BYE INTTERNET XOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOOXOXOXX

HELLLO INTERNET! it is ME AGAIN THIS MONYAY!!! Yippee!!! this is the seconf to last monyay before i die for 3 whole monyays..... Oh man... i feel like my summer is already over... i only h ave two weeks left before my chaos of a billion trips helll... Yay. Haha. anywyas...so GUESS WHAT!! i learned to play the CONGA today!!! it was awesome!!! i went to my class after the break last week and Nico Bro was 15 mins late.. he got a new student and he ALWAYSYSS goes late on lessons which is fun like Thx ik he cares Ig... but anyways this new student... Another teen girl.. maybe younger than me.. was in that class to learn the conga???? so i went in and he was like 'Ya i just got a kid who is learning the conga... u wanna try?? it kinda relates to jazz.. and latin music is my specialty' and i was like Omg what thats so cool OFC i wanna try.... sooo anyways theres these giant congas in the room and i learn... i like percussion instruments because unlike any other instruments a lot of them require u to MANSPREAD SO HARD and its so funny i feel so silly (im a #1 manspreader). anyways you have to liek shove the conga between your legs and like tilt it for better resonance or something and its Super awesome.. although its REALLY hard... like you think ur just banging it? NO ITS HARD!!!

BY of MONTREAL

song of the week!

"Mix bag, grab bag, pop the question

Have a ball runnin' wild between your spaghetti legs

Mix bag, grab bag, dirty pots

You'd best believe my love could fix the faucet"

BY of MONTREAL

BY of MONTREAL

BY SCREECHING WEASEL

BY TACOCAT

"I tip top topple over for my fun loving nun

Cause she has so much fun, so much joy

And so much wonderful love for everyone

She’s not like an ordinary person no she’s not

She turns a lonely room into a happy place

Transforms a grumpy look into a smiling face"

i was struggling rly hard actually to like... hit it good... like you have to use this certain part of your hand and like curl ur fingers all weird and its Tough! but he was like Ya its hard..... and then he was explaining all this latin music Crap to me and it was like. Oh man bro i JUST started to understand jazz and all those terms and how that works and then BOOM threw me into another World bro. it was funy he said like "ya idk if u noticed but i actually lead the afro cuban band at the middle school i work at (which is actually the middle school that i went to LOL) and i actually specialize in latin music and latin percussion and stuff" and i.. already knew that... LOL.. i did notice... he saif that cuz i follow his Damn instagram Ew.. anyways its actually REALLY cool like this WHOLE OTHER WORLD of music!!! and i learned about... clave.. beats??? and... many words that i forgot and i learned a latin beat and it was Super AWESOMELY COOL!!! i felt like a cool Baddie. but its really hard and i was struggling. a Alot. and then idk what the joke was but while he was writing down sheet music he made some joke and i laughed at it and he was like Thanks for laughing at all my jokes. Even though they aren't even funny. and i was like LOL no i like them. that was funny...... erm. anyways i did it and i was livin the awesome life... and then i picked my cuticle and it started bleedingNAW so i had to ask for a bandaid... and i had to confess my cuticle picking problem to him and he was like Ya me too.. so Ya then i told the story of when i started bleeding on piano keys during a class once and i was like Ya that was embarassing and he said Ya that IS embarassing... THANKS A LOT BRO. thx for the bandaid though. that i took off like immedietly after. anyways piano was horrible hell and horrible and i hate piano and i HATE IT

like OH MY GOD. Yk. i play the piano a LOT. and i can pretty much play whatever the HELL I WANT. ive been playing it a lot this week since i discovered a ton of of montreal songs with piano in it and i swear when i play i feel like a little genius because i can just look up the chords/tabs of a song and i can figure out how to play it REALLYY EASY like i can learn whatever Freaking song i want (thanks to Nico's teaching Tbh.... i never wouldve been able to do that before) . so when im at home i feel like a piano genius because i literally was able to figuer out songs like that.. i learned like 4 songs in the past 24 hours. like. Comeo n. but WHEN I STEP IN THAT DAMN ROOM WITH NICO ALL MY SKILLS EVERYTHING DISAPPEARS AND I LOOK LIKE A DAMN IDIOT. oh my GOD. ok first of all i have NO idea what to practice.. its all so vague. so i did NOT practice whatever my AUDITION STUFF FROM MY JAZZ BAND AUDITION A MONTH AGO CUZ I THOUGHT I WASS DONE. but NO he asked me to pull it out and comp and solo to FREAKING Blue 7 CRAP and i was like Bro. i DIDNT KNOW I HAD TO PRACTICE THAT BECAUSE WE DID NOT DO THAT 2 WEEKS AGO?? and he was like.. ok Comp to Blue 7... and i was like ok... and i DID and hewas like NOT ENOUGH. SWITHC IT UP. VOICE LEADING. INVERSIONS. and i was like... AHDBaHAhaHa Okay. and hewas like. "DONT be ashamed. its MY job to teach. but you should KNOW this. Fr. DONT be ashamed. DOnt give me that look" OK WTF?????? WTTTFFF????? IS WERONG WITH HIM. HE WENT ON AND ON ABOUT WHATEVR CRAP AND I WAS LIKE oh my god. my face got all red and i was just like Okay Yeha Thumbs uP!!!!!! bro i swear to god. idk why i freeze up. because i KNOW i could do that crap EASY at home but i have no confidence!!

hello this song has no lyrics its just piano... im putting it becaue i just learned it on the piano!! its so fun and Whimsy awesomeness..... did you know that coquelicot means poppy in french? poppy is the name of my cat!! this album is awesome!!! and this song is adorable and super duper fun to play on the piano... although it is short and sweet!

"Won't end up like you want us to be

But so what cause we're always gonna be happy

Cause we don't give a shit about tomorrow

Tell us we'll regret those things we did

But we're just gonna give you a big wet kiss

Cause we don't give a shit about tomorrow"

"It’s that time, that time of the month

Well I woke up early and I got a hunch

Gonna head on down to the beach today, surf all my girl probs away

‘Cause all I wanna do is cry, ask mother nature why why why

Listen to The Cramps on my stereo, turn it up as loud as it will go

Surfin’, surfin’ the wave

All the girls are surfin’ the wave

Surfin’ the crimson wave today"

aand he was like Oh maybe not i dont wanna embarass you. HELP ME HELP ME YOU WILLLLLLLL YOU WILL I THINK ILL DIE IF HE SHOWS UP AT THAT GODDAMN OPEN MIC GOD HELP ME. and then we kinda talked about the cafe tht its at. he was like Ok pls remind me so i can go!!! ( iwont). Help me. im actually terrified. and my other friend childhood bff also wants to come and now theres too many peopele im gonna explode and die. I ONLY WANT THE HIP MILLENIALS WHO DO SICK POETRY THERE (and my other awesome friends that also perform. they are also Cool. and they were the ones who showed me that open mic :3). I SHOULDNT HAVE TOLD ANYONE. I SHOULDNT HAVE TOLD THAT FREAKOOOO. Help me. What a fun and awesome class... today... Yeah.... OH YEAH and at the beginning when i walked in and he was 15 minutes late this Random apple drum teacher saw that i had my brushes and started talking to me and asking me about my brushes and all that Crap and i was so awkward IM NOT MADE FOR THIS LIFE IM GONNA DIEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Help. im dead. anyways i have been talking about that for WAAAYYY too long oh my god. sorry today was a Doozy!!! but at least ETHO uploaded today and it was a 50 minute video and i was sSOOO HAPPIEHH!!! andi hung out with da Biffle Bae on friday and it was such an awesome balst and i had a awesome time and i made a FURSONA and im a little bobcat and its so cute and i think my life is way better now that i have a fursona i think!!!! so thats a highlight of my week Def. and we went and watched the sunset while i rated trolls ships...... what an awesome time.... and the fourth of juuly was super fun and i swam which was Cool. and my little cousin is adorable and my uncle randomly was like.. Brooke,.... i just heard of BABYMETAL.. and i was like OH MY GOD UR KIDDING ME UNC!!!!!!!! and we talked about BABYMETAL for a while because I LOVE BABYMETAL!!! and its so funny that my uncle knows them. i was so excited. i LOVE THEM. no one UNDERSTANDS HOW MUCH I LOVE BABYMETAALLLLLLLL!!!! but ive TOTALLY been in a music rut recently! IDK. im scared im gonna Over-listen to of Montreal and then i wont like them any more.. theyve been my fave band for so long but recently its ALL i can listen to. I DONT WANNA OVERLISTEEN!!! im scared... but they r SOO GOOOD oh my GOD. words cant explain!!

like all my confidence disappears.... due to fear of making mistakes maybe... but i know i can do that crap at home. IDK WATS WRONG WITH MEEEEE. but he was so mad today... he was like "yk it feels like we are going backwards and sitting here learning the same thing every week because ive heard you do better before. i can sit here and teach you the same thing but you need to be practicing" and i was going to Burst out right there i was like Okay. (im gonna die im so upset). and it SUCKS BC I PLAY PIANO ALL THE TIME!!!! jazz is impossible and it makes me wanna die. on the piano. I CAN DO IT I SWEAR. im so embarassed. im so excited to not see him for 3 weeks. (no im not)(yes i am)(I wanna die). anyways i had mentioned to him that im ACtaully planning on performing keyboard at an open mic with my Biffle Bae (on acoustic guitar. Heart.) NEXT FRIDAY and he asked what songs and i said them... whatever belle and sebastian and a kings of convinience song and he was like Oh ya ive heard of belle and sebastian but ive never heard of that second one.. WHAT??? UR TELLING ME MR. KNOWS EVERY MUSIC EVER HAS NEVER HEARD OF KINGS OF CONVINIENCE???? WHAT TF KINDA HIP MUSIC DUDE HASNT??? and i was like *shocked face* you... Y-you... Havent heard of kings of convinenc..e....??? (exaggerated) and he was like.. ya... what are they.. 90s indie? and i was like Ya early 2000s indie and he was like Ya i never got into 2000s indie... wow what a LITTLE FREAK. so im better than him basically. (JK.). he asked if i needed help but i said Naw i got it (BECAUSE I DO BECAUSE IM FREAKING GOOD AT THE PIANO. ITS EASY. I SWEAR IM NOT BAD OH MY GOD.) and yk what this FREAK asks... Omg where is it... what day.. what time... OMG maybe ill show up.. Hhaaha Remind me! OH MY GOD NO NO NO NO NONONO. NOnNONoONO. THIS FREAK GOES... is ur family going.. and i said Naw. and he was like Oh just ur friends and i was like Yah.....

their discography is SO big so im making a thing to listen to every single of Montreal album from the begininning and they are all SO good.. i like listening to how their sound changes from indie to alt over the years its reallyREALLY cool... their og older albums are SOOO underrated.. oh MAN so good!!! but thats what ive been ON for the past.. while. and im rating all the albums in my notes and stuff. i Love you kevin barnes. Heart. anyways. im feeling very overwhelmed by life now i have something going on like every single day and im trying to get my last hangouts with my friends in and babysitting and asb and everything is just coming so QUICKLY!! i might explode maybeeeee!!! OMg ap scores came out and i think the internet is evil for existing. and i tried not going on insta. sigh... maybe i should stop caring so much MAYBE!~!!!!! anywaayyssss.... i just made a new playlist public... thank you punk rock for existing i am indebited to you and also i hate you why are you so impossible to play on the drums. SIIIGGHH!H!!!!!!!!!!!111 anyways//// this post took me longer than usual i was really distacted by a lot of stuff Hehhhhhh.............. oh my god the song im listening to is so good everyone listen to These Freaks by Dirty Fences RIGHT NOW WOWWWW i love this song thank you spotify!! anyways i am off... porbably to watch my new Fav show Komi Can't Communicate its SO GOOODDDD!!!!! i love it.. Lol... anyways Goodnight multiverse (pls come back i miss you) :33333 XOXOXOXXOXOOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXX

HELLO MONYAYERS OF MULTIVERSE!! it is me again... writing late at night because i had a busy crazy day!!!! but Alas i must grind it out for all the loyal monyayers out there... Yeah... For sure...... Erm.. this post might be shorter than usual bc im Lowkey really tired but ALAS I CANNOT MISS A MONYAY OR ELSE I DIE!! (im going to have to miss like 3 monyays later this month... i think ill die....)... well anyways i had a decently soli week this week!! i didn't have class today because like they had a 1 week summer vacation or something idk.. so ya no typical monyay updates on That.... Thank God... but ya..... Hmmm... whats the Vibe this week... well i went to monterey on a quick 3 day vacay this past weekend with my family and cousins and it was SUPER fun!! my sister.. .the one who came out to my parents... stayed home because she was really sick so that was sad.. but Tbh shes in a bad mood all the time whenever shes home sooo..... ya... OMG last i updated on her coming out i was talking about how the vibe is off.. and i was RIGHT. it WAS off... the next day on tuesday my mom sat her down and started going off about how her girlfriend is manipulative and bad and she wants her to break up with her gf... its not abt her being gay.. but it CLEARLY is bro....come on....

BY FOSTER THE PEOPLE

"Got shackles on my wings on tight

Beggin' makin' compromise

Fast enough it's hard to hide

Sometimes I want to disappear"

BY YAUCHT&CLASSIX

BY TANGERINE DREAM

like she made a thing about how normal relationships dont move that fast (they said ily after 4 months and are really reallllyyy close) and something about it being weird that her gf paid?? (her gf is like.. pretty stereotypical butch lesbian vibes... so makes sense for her to pay in my head....) but something about how MEN pay because they can provide but its WEIRD when its a girl... and idk all this crap. a lot of it is just like "if she were a boy then i'd think this and that" but... i dont think thats how it works!! really, fundamentally, lesbian relationships are NOT straight relationships. point blank. therefore, i do not think they can be COMPARED to straight relationships. lesbian culture and straight culture is WORLDS different and so behaviors and all that stuff WILL be different!!! like... its super common in lesbian culture to say i love you quicker or move quicker in relationships (think: u-haul lesbians)... because the way in which you form relationships between 2 girls is simply different than a girl and a guy. half of that is such the appeal for BEING a lesbian... like.. with 2 girls, the level of understanding and relatability between the two is so much deeper and happens quicker because you just understand eachother on that deeper level having gone through girlhood... and that just doesn't happen with straight relationships.. and thats fine.. my point is just.. its just fundamentally different and incomparable. and im not saying lesbian culture is better and that you cant get hurt.. because Ya its true that forming relationships where its quicker and deeper like that its way easier to get hurt (think: the stereotype that ur first lesbian breakup is the worst most horrible thing ever), and that could happen

"I used to live in a heartbeat city

I swear I'd fall in love every minute on the street

You might be walking around the corner

And our eyes might meet

Where you've been darling darling?

We've been holding this moment for you

to my sister for sure!! but also i think my mom just.... simply doesn't understand it.. and i think.. a lot of it... MIGHT be an excuse to dislike her relaitonship and be homophobic.. but also i think she just doesn't understand the culture of it and that she is comparing apples to oranges... and that she needs to view this relationship from a different lens. "if she were a boy" doesn't work because shes NOT!! shes a girl!!!! so she should see her as one!! idk i could actually go on and on about this topic,, i am very passionate about lesbianism..... but alas i have already been talking about it for way too long AND i already went on a twitter rant about it. so Ya i think that may have been why she stayed home from the trip. ANYWAYS the trip was so AWESOME!! we went to the aquarium.. and aa bunch of cool places and i got to hang out with my adorable little 10 year old cousin jonathan... i love him so much hes so fun.. my little best friend. he is super intense to be with sometimes... but we are literally attached at the hip when we are together.. hes so amazing :3 and my other cousin.. shes older.. shes so awesome too i love her!! she loves musicals and she is a graphic designer and shes so cool!! shes so funny.... she saw my little lesbian pin and complinented it and was like Omg its ur month! :3 and when we left she whispered Happy pride to me IM CRYING actually.. shes the one person other than my sisters in my family i have ever come out to and im glad i did.... i actually love her so much shes so amazing!!! It's the little things. Heh. Heheh. but anyway i had a cool awesome time at monterey... except for night time.. my mom snores SO LOUD its evil and i could barely sleep the whole time.. EVEN WHEN BLASTING SLEEPING MUSIC AND NOISE IN MY EARS... *shudders*... so ya im glad its over... but it was cool and i took lots of awesome pictures and im gonna make a montage tomorrow! so AWESOME!

hello there are no lyrics because this is tangerine dream but Holy crap i didnt realize how fire this WHOLE album is... ive been listening to a lot more TD recently and every time a song from this album comes up im like HOLY MAC. i love this song and i love the title of it. considering TD's long discography i always seem to love their newer stuff, oddly. well i love this song and i think its so beautiful!!!!!

BY of MONTREAL

i loooove my family!!! especially my eldest sister..... i literally have never appreciated her more than i have now... she is probably the best gal ever and im so lucky to have her as my sister!! growing up we were never as close.. and we still arent.. but just her presence! shes always around and never really in a bad mood and i can always go to her to ask her stuff about like anything or we can just chill in eachothers presence and its really nice! we went to get our nails done together (my mom and other sister had to go to urgent care cuz she was sick) and usually i dont like getting my nails done because 1. im embarassed because i have a skin picking problem so my fingers are scabbed up and every time i go they comment on it really condescendingly and its embarassing and horrible and i hate it and 2. i hate having long nails and usually its just uncomfortable and just.. not for me. but anyways Ya i went with my eldest sister and i was Lowk nervous like idk i havent gone in so long i was kinda stressed.. and my sister!! she went and whispered something to my nail girl!!! she nodded understandingly... for a second, just before she started doing stuff... and i have no idea what she told her but i assume it was about like.. not commenting about the state of my fingers maybe.. which i told her i was kinda stressed about before we went in.. and its literally so tiny.. such a small little thing that shouldnt really matter too much but she went out of her way to like... look out for me!!! and just Oh man. she is just the best ever and i love her sososoo much!! we went to sushi after and it was awesome. im SO happy shes home for the summer and i will enjoy every second!

"You don't understand what the morning does to me

In the poison daylight I can hear

Shadows crawling over everything

I'll go down on you if that would make you happy

My panda bear"

BY MARCOS VALLE

*lyrics translated from Portuguese*

"How good it is to live

Water to drink, will drink

Just like coconut water

Smell of desire, camaraderie

And perfume on the body

I like to stay in this delirium

Delirious with you

By your side, life becomes more beautiful

There's no crying, no pain"

i have just been really feelin like Wow. im so lucky to have her. i have some pretty awesome sisters i think. its real nice. !!!! annywyas my nails were rly cute they were staarrss!! ok anywasysss!! ok this is completely unrelated but i just needed to get this off my chest. OK LITERALLY I SWEAR TO GOD maybe this is me being a sensitive snowflake but i HATE the word bop. its so stupid and every time i hear it i cringe and tweak out because its literlaly just a new word to slut shame girls without saying the word slut like OH MY GOD how are we still ON THIS!!>!!!? "ouhhh thats bop behavior" SHUT UP!!!! why r people so obsessed with other people sometimes maybe... Ugh anyways i just had to say that. been on my mind. anywaayyysss.... today was pretty crazy and fun!! i was supposed to have kbbq with my 2 Main Friends this morning for lunch and then one of them invited her cousin so then it was 4 of us LOOOLL and then we went and da Biffle Bae WAS STILL ASSLEEEEPPP LOLOLOLLLL it was like 12 and we waited half an hour and SHE STILL DIDNT WAKE UP i was so Depresso... so it was jut 3 of us we went and ate without her and she texted like 15 mins later that she just woke up.. SIgh.... but the kbbq wasa so Bombb bro.. and it was chill but it made my stomach hurt. MmmMMM i think i love kbbq so much its probably the best thing ever probably. i Missed my biffle bae tho. anyway... for asb we have to do like.. admissions for the incoming freshmen or whatever and i SWEAR TO GOD NO ONE CARES BUT ME. kinda... they care but the president and vp like half-ass everything and it leaves the secretary, treasurer and me (historian) to do most everything.... and i think i care too much or they dont care enough because no one else seems as stressed out about this. or maybe they r all SUPER busy this summer or something idk. but its all so off track and im freaked.. but anyways i had to go to school today to hang up promo flyers SHOUTOUT DA BIFFLE BAE FOR HELPING ME IN DA HOT SUN! my realest 1!!

literally it took us an hour and a half to hang up 40 flyers in our deserted school over summer and i STILL need to make a poster or some crap... (because SOMEONE (the president) DIDNT THINK AHEAD and DIDNT EMAIL ANYONE UNTIL LAST MINUTE SO WE CAN GIVE A SPEECH so now the only way we can promote is THROUGH FLYERS AND POSTERS oh ym godds im so annoyed) its Watever... my flyers were cute.. and i got to post the application on the google classroom because the president was like in the car and couldnt do it.... so i felt important. I guess. whatever im still annoyed.. Pls care more PLEASE. or maybe i need to chill out and stop caring like everyone else. perfectionism is a blessing and a curse. also i feel like im overstepping my bounds as historian by taking so much charge in this but no one else is doing anything So. anyways after we hung up flyers then we met up with this OTHER girl who went to summer school whose friends with some of my friends and then there were FIVE of us.... and it was a Crazy dynamic... and we played monopoly and it was crazy and everyone cheated Bro literally whats the point of playing a game if u cheat... but i went bankrupt because someone was stealing all my money while i wasnt looking Sigh!!! ya it was chill tho Alas... the whole thing was just funny... Silly... anyways... i was WRONG this post is just as long as my OTHER POSTS!!!!!!! omg wait just thinking about how i learned about the freaky taxidermy lion today Oh my god i need to look that up again (WThanks BB) i always wonder if these posts ever make senesee im literallyt just blabbing about whatever i think about on here like Da frick.... this post was kinda Boring...RIP NICO... and i kinda had a chill week so Ya idk. thNks internet... i will see you next monyay :333333333333333333333333333

BY OF MONTREAL

BY TELE NOVELLA

BY DARK THOUGHTS

Haliillooo internet its me again. bros... i miss this site... barely anyone posts on here anymore its so sad.... i also feel guilty taking up lke the entirety of the home page but i also literally only post once a week.. Sigh. anyways YAY we made it through another week and we made it through another monyay!! barely... my whole family is home now... both of my sisters are here at my house and now everytihing feels so family..ish..! anyways Freakdontsurf is back from his Vacay to alaska... Erm.... ya cuz he kept posting pics of him shirtless on some iceburg downing buzzballs HELP ME WHATS WRONG WITH HIM. ALL HE POSTS ABOUT IS BUZZBALLS NO JOKE. but he was back and i was kinda alright today.... So many 5 stroke rolls... SO MANY... and the Damn drum head was way to high for me so i was focusing so hard on not hitting the rim and not on the 5 stroke rolls and i was kkinda bad but tis Waatever. he asked me what i got up to in the past 2 weeks and idk why i didnt say something cool like "oh i went to 2 concerts!" "oh i watched inside out 2!" "oh i babysat!" but Nope i said "oh i just played games all day..." and he asked me and i said WIZARD101 LIKE A FREAK. he was like LOL thats so old.. you like that?? Help me. and then he asked me to freaking sing this thelonious monk song and i couldnt (cuz i didnt know the song well enough to remember) and i was so awkward and he was literally laughing at me and it was so emabrassing

"When things are too nice for too long

I lose myself, I lose my what's good

Want to lash out, want to blow things up again

I want to blow them up now

I want to blow them up again"

HEPLLPPP. so Yeah. something about transposing horn solos. Sooo guess whose listening to Striaght No Chaser and Nows the Time this week!!!!!!! ME. UGH. and then when we were changing rooms the like owner of the studio was like Zamn Nico i love your outfit you are lookin awesome (he was kinda dressed up in a colared shirt and belt and crap) and he whispered "i think my boss has a crush on me" so that was funny Ha Ha FREAKO. and then Idk piano was whatever just went over whatever isaac said last week of ii v i progressions and something.... common tones... he asked me if i knew the common tones of a line and i was like "dude......" and he waslike dude??? like BRO i literally told you like 3 seconds ago that when isaac explained it to me that i had no idea WHAT HE WAS EVEN TLAKING ABOUT. but i felt bad for calling him dude. but the dude ltierally Curses in front of me so its not like this is an uber professional Freaking thing BRAH. also he DMED ME ON INSTAGRAM WITHOUT FOLLOWING ME BACK FREAK ASS HOE (he was sending me a song). literally just text me. EMAIL ME. WH ARE YOU DMING ME ON INSTAGRAM WEIRDO. liike Thanks IG. and THEN on my way home i spot him in his stupid gray honda cr-v a couple lanes away from me and GUESS WHAT HE IS DOING. HE IS FREAKING ON HIS PHONE WHILE DRIVING. PHONE IN ONE HAND STEERING WHEEL IN THE OTHER FULLY DRIVING WHILE ON HIS PHONE. WHAT A FREAAAKKKK OMG. i was so Pissed. not really i was Jamming to Plateau Phase/No Careerism No Corruption by of Montreal ("Fricked in ur driveway... in ur drivewayy...") at that moment. NEVER TRUST A MAN THAT DRIVES A HONDA CR-V THAT IS LITERALLY A WHOLE ASS SUV!!! anyways that was the end... Please Brooke for the love of GOD practice this week... PLEASE!! all i do all day is eat hot chip play wizard 101 and rhythm heaven and go on ao3. i live a hard life. well anyways im ballin actually...

"The heart it seeks a story like the eye looks for a face

Her lovely style, her crooked smile

Thеy once have filled this placе

What went away? What could I say?

All she ever loved is right here

In all the world, one little pearl

For the oyster's autobiography"

"There's a sound only the kids can hear

Every time that they walk down the street

And I know they don't want us around

It's all ringing in my ears

Can you hear it ringing in my ears"

i had a pretty solid week. EXAMPLE A I WENT TO THEEEE OF MONTREAL CONCERT ON FRIDAY AND IT WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH KEVIN I SAW KEVIN BARNES IRL IN REAL LIFE ON THAT STAGE and it was the most amazing awesome time of my whole life im not exaggerating. i dont go to many concerts cuz im quite prone to getting overhwelmed in those types of situations so it waas a little scary but i had my Biffle Bae there and she liked it too and i discovered that if i just Really get into it into the music and the dancing and the flow of the crowd it is actually fun to be in a sweaty loud crowd!!!! so i was literally going Crazy in there like screaming all the lyrics and it was so much fun and the dancers on the stage were even cooler than i thought they would be and it was amazing. even though like... the demographic of of monteral fans is like... people in their 20s and 30s and literally half of them were drunk off of this earth and they shoved in front of us and somone started literally GRABBING AT ME and someone spilled their dirnk on me...and they smelled horrible and they were so sweaty and didn't know personal space... but it was wroth it for kevin. and they act just like he does in the interviews (obviously). I LOVE HIM HES LITERALLY SO AWKWARD AND LIKE QUIET AND THEN MAKES THIS AWESOME MUSIC. it was actually so awesome. now i cant stop listening to of Montreal. i cant stop listening. I CANT LISTEN TO ANYTHING ELSE. my Favorite band ever in the whole world. my dream came true. i actualy cannot stop talking about it to anyone who will listen i start like tweaking out. im new.....

BY OF MONTREAL

BY OF MONTREAL

im for Real a new person after this. i Literally peaked. SORRY I WONT SHUT UP ABOUT IT I LOVE YOU KEVIN BARNES. ok thnk you multiverse. anyways OTHER things happened this week!!! my sisters are home!!! my whole family is back together after a long timme and its nice... diffrerent from what i got used to. i love having my eldest sister around.. .shes amazing. my other sister came out to my parents last night (as bi... she has a girlfriend of four months)... and honestly thats terrifying. she saidnthey were like "u dont have to hide anything from us... wed like to meet ur gf.. we kinda knew" and all this stuff but it all feels off and i have no idea what they are actually thinking. and its not even me who came out but this sets the precedent for me and everything. but my sister was crying and all upset and shes going through an angsty moment which is understandable.. i would too. idk.. it all feels a little weird. and also... my mom Lowkey has problems with bisexual people (not a problem for me... just sucks for my sister...) like shes the mindset of like "just choose one" or just being weird about it and was saying questionable stuff about it today. i dont know. i feel sad and weird. but it was nice for me... my parents getting used to my sister being gay makes it easier to come out in the FAR FUTURE. i feeel bad for them. 2/3 of their daughters are gay... they have the whole spectrum too... HELLLPPPP. at least my eldest sister is a perfect angel who is going to be a housewife homemaker and have lots of grandkids for my parents.!!! also my dad is alwyays silent about that kinda stuff and its terrifying. idk... i feel bad and my sister has been acting weird and ive also just been mad with her recently so it all just feels off recently since shes back. i love her so much. also my mom got mad at me yesrtday because i went upstairs??? when no one was talking to me>>>??? while i was in the other room?like it wasnt that deep..

"My love has found somebody new

Though I should be cool, you know I do wish them

Only misery and for all his pleasures to corrode

If I could finish my jigsaw puzzle

I could start my life again

But I feel like I'm missing too many pieces

To make it to the end"

"In the sensory overload chamber

Massage the android until it turns on, die once every three minutes

Something to look forward to throughout your day

When people ask me my gender

I just tell them, "Brunette"

Oh, their brains are on peroxide

Phony pride speaks only when it should've cried"

and she went up to ask why i went upstairs and it seemed like i was not and i was like No i wasnt mad it was just loud down there and no one was talking to me and i was literally in the living room playing wizard101 when everyone was in the kitchen and she got PISSSEDDD like "why r u trying to act all autistic? so u can go to a loud concert with FURRIES and people spilling drinks on you and loud music but not be downstairs with ur loving family??" and she went ON AND ON ABOUT IT GIRL WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?????? SO MUCH SO UNPACK. iwas so MAD. what the hell actually. ok first of all hating on furries is literally so 2018 why are we still on this. OH MY GOD I CANT STAND FURRY HATE. sorry thats what i literally stuck on. like Come on girl what. and just. everything else. is just so... weird.. and Btw a conccert with one loud persisting MUSIC is different than lots of overlapping noises and voices and tv sounds. and also IT WASNT THAT DEEP LITERALLY I JUST WENT UPSTAIRS BECAUSE NO ONE WAS PLAYING WIZARD101 WITH ME ANYMORE AND THATS THE REASON WHY I WENT DOWN IN THE FIRST PLACEFHKFJHSKDFJ. Girl. i was so.... Growls. Ugh i just had to get that out because isnt that so stupif??? literlalt Calm down. so yeah. anyways i babysat my favorite little 2 year old nadia twice this week and I JUST LOVE HER SO MUCH!! she is just the cutest little baby i have ever darn met... even though her favorite word is No and she literally refuses to eat when i want her to... AND IM MAKING MONEY!!! FROM BABYSITTING!!! its not too much but its awesome!!!! i love getting out of the house and hanging out with my favorite baby and favorite dog ever. i always feel like im messing out or that im msissing something but i think im doing alrightish.... i also went and watched inside out 2 with my freidns and it was rllyyy good!! and we went to the park after which was inttttttteresting. i think ive come to the conclusion that i need to suck it up and just get the FOMO from missing out on like.. my church friends and stuff.. because they rly do not match my freak

and tbh they just make me feel bad about myself and say a bunch of shitty stuff around me and i just have to sit there and pretend its funny or else im sensitive or something and it sucks rly bad!!!! and i have to pretend to be this other person and ITS NOT WORTH IT! i went to church r=for this youth thing on wednesday and it was literlaly mid af. they just aren't my people. it uesd to be this really fun social thing for me (as my current relationship with religion is one big question mark) but now i just feel bad about it. they just!! arent my people i think!!! and thats ok i literally dont need to be the best person for everyone no matter how much i try to be.... but literally the biggest reason i go at this point is FOMO.... but now im literally not going to camp, i quit youth groups, and i dont go saturdays, im just so disconnected that its just not really worth it. i always say this but its ironic how the people super inolved with church are the meanest people... LOL.... anyways i am very content with my 2 awesome friends i love so much !!!!!!!!!! anyways i made this amazing watermelon shaved ice today and it was so good and soft and also i made RAMEN EGGS and they are SOoSosoOsooo good.!!!! and im going on a vacation to the NATIONS BEST AQUARIAM THIS FRIDAY!!! so ill Update on that next MONYAY!!! YIPPEE!! im so o! excited. I HOPE. YAY! gooooddnigghhtt multiverse.. (Please awaken again... i cant believe no one has posted on the All page in a WHOLEWEEK!! i feel so bad posting twice in a row...) XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOX

BY OF MONTREAL

BY OF MONTREAL

hELLOOOOOO ITS OF MONTREAL WEEK AND MULTIVRSE IS BACK!! i couldnt post last week Rip. its ok i actually didnt have class so it workde out i supposeee (I SUPPOSE HEY!!). anywaysUHHH happy monyaaayyyy its monyay june 17 and Yurp. i had class today with a sub ISAAC!! my fave guuyyy! hes so cool actually. hes so much more silly than Frico. im still jsut as awkwkard though. LOL. anyways it was CHill. JK actually i think i have a fear of looking stupid in front of people actully Liek it sucks. sometimes i need to remind myself that im actually never gonna be amazing at things right away.. IMPATIENCCEE!! like with this class i always feel like the stupidest Gal ever but why TF would i be taking this class if... i Knew.. it all.. like waht. im taking it so i can get good because im NOT already good. and i get in this minset "omg hes gonna think im a Freak stupid who cant do anything"... but NO WTF. bro is NOT judging me im sure of it. i just like impressing people or mabes i just put my self worth on doing it all and trying to be as impressive as possible to other people because i Think soOoo! anyways i get a mental block and i need to make it go away. but also i couldnt understand like half of what isaac was talking about today in the paino bit... Tf... Smile and nod!!!! but i think its alright but i DID scream in the car afterwards because WHY aM I LIKE THISUHHHHH.:":"::}*(# or maybe im just rly awkward. i think i talk about this every week actually so maybe i should be Fresh. im just glad my Freaking audition is over (i sitll havent found out if i got in though)......... Sigh!! at least im going to an OF MONTREAL CONCERT THIS FRIDAY WITH MY BIFFLE BAE AAWESOME AMAZING IM SO EXCITED OF MONTERAL IS MY FAVORITE BAND EER IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

song of da week

"The past is a grotesque animal

And in its eyes you see

How completely wrong you can be"

"The mousy girl screams, "Violence! Violence!"

She gets hysterical because they're both so mean and it's my favorite scene

But the cruelty's so predictable

It makes you sad on the stage

Though our love project has so much potential

But it's like we weren't made for this world"

i love of Montreal

sooo i am grateful for thaatt!! and id rather do that than idk instagram reels (whic h are evil and i am still on.. Sigh)... because it requires thikning... hey i also took apart and cleaned my gameboy advance i got from ebay and it was soooo GROSSS omg.... but i cleaned it so now i play RHYTHM HEVAVEN ON IT!! BECAUSE I HAVE ALL 4 RHYHTM HEAVEN GAMES NOW!!! poh MAN i love rhythm heaven. because the gameboy advance is so old it doesnt liek.. light up.. like the screen just deoesnt have lights.. so i have to use this silly lookin maginfying light thing you hang from ur neck to play it so it can light up the screen and i look really stupif its really funny....like the thing is meant for sewing or something.... but thats the Grind... anything for rhythm heaven!! and the gba rhythm heaven is so fun i cant stop playing.. UHGH I LOVE IT and i love the drum lessons on it!!! they are so hard i have to think so hard about it its actually so cool i love it... literally drum lessons irl... in my gameboy... its awesome. DON DON PAN PAN!!! so im literally BALLLINNNN!!! i think i actually am ballin actually. i have so much love for my family and i love love love my sister so much and im so happy shes home!! shes so amazing and i love having her around. and i had such a fun cute fathers day with my cute family and im so grateful for my cute little fam.. we play gartic phone and itss so fun :333333

"With you I can only see my black-light constellations

And other shit I don't think I have the language to say

I don't want to catch you with some other guy's face Under your eyelids

Something must be wrong

You give me emotional artifacts that can find no purchase"

BY OF MONTREAL

BY OF MONTREAL

BY OF MONTREAL

"I spend my waking hours haunting my life

I made the one I love start crying tonight

And it felt good

Still there must be a more elegant solution"

ok OMG the craziest thing happened last night im like still in shock. Idk it was weird and i feel a little gross weird about it like i am going to projectile throw up eeveyrwhere think!! my FREAKING ex gf FACETIMED ME HELPP WHAT THE HELL ACTUALLY. like for context we like completely didn['t speak to eachother since What december (other than the one time she facetimed me and was pissed i said something...its a long story) and we had eachother basically removed on eeverywherre. Help but she facetimes me and i FREAKED BRO and i answered and Literally she opens with "ive had a dream about you every night for the last 3 weeks and in one of them ur parents died and you were sad... so i just wanted to check in and get a life update" OH MY GOD WHAAAT. Tbh it wasnt that bad. like ive completely moved on and im really happy at my current Vibe. so it wastn like weird like that. and shes lkike talknig? with? a guy now so like Yursss good for her. but it was just so weird the way that we are completely different people now... and it makes me grateful (Help) that i... ammmm notttt that perrrson.... i mean Idk no judgement she can live Dat life!! liek good for her!! but Holy CRAP im glad i got out when i did, genuinely, some of the shit she told me was insane. i dont even know how to feel. like EWHWIPWPEWWEWEWEEWEWWWW like im gonnna throw up everywhere and Oh man. just. sometimes i like looking back on when we were together and i swear every time i do i realize how... Bad that relationship was like idk how it went on so long (Jk i do). well anyways. on one hand i feel a little gross and like i dont want to be reminded of the person i used to be when i was in that (horrible) and this just reminded me of That point of my life (and i would never, Ever go back. Omg) and on the other hand like Yeah we were friends! and it was nice to catch up with an old friend! and i guess we r Chill friends again. i dont mind?

"I can't keep up with the girl

She's not mine, though

She's not his either

Messy in love with the girl

I'm guessing the T

Is that she needs variety, oh, oh

I can't keep up with the girl

Are we just the quarry,

In her sex safari??

"Staying in touch is making us boring, voiceless is underrated, I think it's dumb and I

Really hate it

I must vilify us to make you special, I know my compass is beyond retrieval, I'm just

'illuminations' and 'flowers of evil'

Like a flittering squirming dying insect you got glued to your ceiling"

it was funny cuz she told me like Evverytthing thats happened to her and it was all this and even all her romantic ventures which like i didnt mind it was interesting LOL..but also Help some of it was craay... but my life updates were not nearly as interesting or anything at all... i had a couple but idk i am kinda ballin. i felt kinda boring Tbh. but im glad... but i do know one thing and its that IM SO GGRATEFUL IM LESBIAN oh my god i mso grateful and happy and im reminded to bask in that happiness that i never have to be with a man. GOD BLESS AMERICA. well anyways that whole situation was kinda weird but also at THIS point being so detached from that relationship and so over it, its just like... okay sure i guess. like that realtionship was fucked up and horrible but its over and now we are living really separate lives and just... caught up on them. so yeah.... idk.. its weird.... but not like Taht kinda weird and theres no way in ANY life i would EVER go back. but idk i guess its whatever... i dont really hold grudges like dat nor do i make like... associations.. idk how to desceiribe it. just so random and out of the blue it cuaght me off guard!!!! anyways.... this past weekend i went and i saw alan parsons project live!!! with my fam and it was so SUPER COOL in koreatown and we went to the most delicious kbbq ive ever had in my entire life Omosgmgmg it was so good i just about died it was so good ive ever had that good of kbbq in my life and im still thinking about how amazing it was. and we had snow bing soo after and it was just the most perfect day!!! and i had fathers day at my cousins and i just love my cousins so much.. my little 10 year old cousin is so cute and i love him... HES SO FUNNY hes like.. an internet kid. and he told me he was asexual my litttle KInNGGGG.. HES 10 *CRY EMOJI* HAPPY PRIDE month. HeH. Ugh hes my little best friend. and i love my older cousin shes so awesome and amazing and sweet and cool.

like actually that has been my whole personality this whole week and i wont shut up about it (sending a big apology to my family....... Oops)..... im probably gonna die at this concert and its so cool cuz they have little background dancers??/ people??? that wear this AWESOME eccentric funky cool costumes and just run around the stage and be cool and awesome and OH MAN I MIGHT JUST DIE IM SO EXCITED I LOVE YOU KEVIN BARNEEESSSUUGGHH!!!!! YAYYYY!!! so i think thats the most awesome thing to ever happen! but DUDE ive been going absolutely NUTS this week!! summer is so WACK!!!! all i did is play wizard 101 and guess who got to KARAMELLE!!! i actually get so into wizard101 like when im in the mode i actually become a crazy person its scary. i have a character, her name is brooke swiftwhisper, and she is a level 148 death wizard and i quest with my mom, her wizard is named scarlett rosethorn and shes a level 149 fire wizard!! and we are in karamelle right now trying to discover who SUCKED THE OLD ONE INTO A BIG HOLE IN THE GROUND AND ALSO WHY NANA IS EVIL AND MAKING KARAMELLE INTO AN EVIL CORPORATION!!!its so awesome no one understands actually its the best thing ever!! and i finally FINISHED MY CRAFTING QUEST!!! i got all 45 flying squid ink and that took me forever so now im a REVERED crafter and i finished all the crafting quest??? (i didnt know it stopped after revered?!?!?!)... so YAY!! its so grindy to do it though.. i dont understand how people do it and skip all the dialogue because i LOVE the dialogue and the story i feel like i get so into it and i have little cute headcanons for my characters and its so cute and awesome and i love this game so much and it such a nice way to spend time with my mom! she doesnt mind when i get..intense abt it.

and we r going to monterey with them next week and im rlllylylylyyy excited YYEYYY!!!! AND IM FORCING MY FRIENDS TO SEE INSIDE OUT 2 WITH ME BECAUSE I NEED TO SEE IT SO BAD i lloooveeee inside out and inside out 2 LOOKS SO GOOD AND IM SO EXCITEEEDDDDQ!!!!!! i feel like i was so stressde out last weeeeeeeek over everything but now i fee llike i have things under control and im... in control of myself.... an d stuff. so im happy about that. im still an evil instagram reel and young sheldon addict... (not something i am proud of) but also its literally sumemr so maybe i should just let myself just Chill for a while. Omg my faovorite of Montreal line jsut played "when people ask me my gender i just tell them brunette" [-Marijuana is a working woman] KEVIN BARNES I LOVE YOU this is literally me. ugh Kevin is literally me. KEVIN I WILL SEE YOU ON FRIDAY :3 YAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!! Uhg i have so much love in my heart what a nice little Time Heeheeheehee :3 well anyways i hope All here on multiverse had a lovely beautiful monyay and have a goood night.. woah i dont think ive ever been done with a multiverse this early (9:27 PM)..... crazy.... weell GOOD NIGHT C U NEXT MONYAY!!!

HAI MULTIVERSERSS happy monyayyy!! keepin this going over summer :3 currently listening to britpop because yesterday i fell down the raabit hole of First music videos.... then live concert vids.. then vids of Blur... (the girls & boys music video is Fire) and then the rabbit hole of the awesomeness of damon albarn... gorillaz and blur? thats so awesome possum. anyways yey! its monyay! and this marks like 5 days until my jazz band audition is due and i am absolutely terrified and screwed... but i have nothing to do this week except practice and maybe im getting the hang of it!! i think... ill be OKAY. for piano. im just not gonna turn in the drum one i think. Sorry Nico. Sorry. dude he goes so over on the classes literally he went an HOUR OVER BRO. da frick. hes going to alaska or something for the next two weeks so literally when he was already 40 mins over he was like.... oh i guess ill just go 2 hours today and then u wont have a sub or class next week. Sigh. so no monyay next week (ill still post.) and we did lots.. of drum and piano.. SO MUCH. i like exploded ive never had to think this hard in my life.

BY ALL

BY SCREECHING WEASEL

BY BLUR

BY BLACK FLAG

"The world's on heroin

Everybody is standing in my way

I try to use my brain

Stupidity is thrown in my face"

"There's a real cool club on the other side of town

Where the real cool kids go to sit around and talk bad

About the other kids

Yeah, it's a real cool club and you're not part of it"

i literlallly have no words for it. im exited for this audition to be over and then my lfie will begin for REALLL! literally... just constantly workin hard. (hardly workin. i barely practiced). but i think i understand everything. it just needs practice. an d stuff. and i atually swore off social media this week!!!!!!!! so NO DISTRACtIONS!!!! me and some of my friends are doing it cuz idk church told them or something and now im copying them. no insta or T-t-t-twitter... or facebook (i broke it a bit. i didnt know facebook counted!!). and its hard i want to literally overshare on my insta close friends BUT I CANTTT!! but at least i can here. this doesn't count as social media... right. no one will know. Hehe. LOL anyways nico wrote "lock in!!" in a freaking email after class and i thought it was funny... so hip cool kid i guess. im so awkward. he was asking me questions bcecause we were taking a break or something and i told him about my sisters and.. that im going to an open mic this friday (not performing Lol) and that i need to buy a screwdriver this week. and hes going to alaska (is scared hes going to get eaten by a bear???) and has a sister 4 years older in nursing school but she hates school (then why go into nursing school??? what...) (i already knew he had a sister. sigh). and then he said something about the lead sheet being fucked up and i thought it was funny, it always surprises me when like.. adults (although hes like a kid. but still a teacher) curses. i grew up wayyy sheltered. *SHUDDER*. but everything is CHANGING!! and Independence. i can do WATEVER I WANNA!!! and its so aweomse!!! im so sad i have no monyay next week!!!!

i waas probably gonna get isaac as my sub and that wouldve been AWESOME because i love isaac hesssooo COOLLL dude and i lvove stalking his spotify cuz he has good stufPleaf on there!111 ill get him next NEXT monyay.... BRAH. k isaac... PLEAK!!! i wish i was a cool hip long haired indie boy who is really good at jazz and drums and guitar and bass and piano and everything ever. ugh i HATE THEM ALL. ok does anyone else get this way but i like it when people talk about me or somehthing about me when im right there and i could say it myself. like.eeee.... i was just out with my friend and she was liek talking to other people and was like "oh omg brooke had this crazy thing happen to her and her friends ... blah blah blah" LIKE THIS STORY I COULD TOTALLY SAY MYSELF BUT SHES TELLING IT FOR ME TO THE PEOPLE WHEN IM RIGHT THERE!!! i actually love it when people do that because like Omg you were listening to me when i told you that random thing that happened?? ANd u want to tell other peoplee for me ?? :3 that happened witwh nico today idk the owner came in and asked why we were going so song and he was like "oh ya she has an audition blah blah" or something and that made sense but like idk was like Omg!!. maybe i just feel so woman when i hear people use pronouns for me ever I gues.s. like Hahah Girly hooo you were listneing to me taaljkkkK!!!!! i liek feel like a super spy sometimes because i ltierally dont care abt pronouns or gender or crap like it doesnt matter and technically i use any pronouns but i stopped telling people that because.. too much effort and no one gaf anyways

"When I feel heavy metal

(Woo-hoo) And I'm pins and I'm needles

(Woo-hoo) Well, I lie and I'm easy

All of the time but I'm never sure why I need you

Pleased to meet you"

"I wouldn't be without my TV for a day Or even a minute

Don't even bother to use my brain any more

There's nothing left in it

We've got nothing better to do

Than watch TV and have a couple of brews"

BY DESCENDENTS

and either way like i look girl call myslef girl and thats what everyone calls me thsese days so i guess thats what i be but secretly... secretly in my head i know what i am (i dgaf about it. thats what i am. (jk the word for it is gender apathetic but literally who cares. not me LOLOL)). anyways maybe thats why it surprises me when people talk about me with pronouns to me..... maybe just dont percieve me.!!! and i know usisng like.. diff pronouns but not telling anyone defeeats the whole purpose... but like idk. i just like knowing it myself. and then in the tiny rare ocassion soemone calls me something different its alwasy like Nice. i used to tell people but now i just avoid the question. like when we share prnouns in groups and stuff LITERALLY i just dont say them... idk. STAY MYSTERIOUS! (too mysterious. thats not something ur suposed to be mysterious about..). anywyas... i still like it when peopel talk for me when im right there. like thanks for listening to what i told you about myself!!! like Yey!! im happy its summer. this is my awesome girlboy summer (HAH). im liking the life without social media. even youtube vids are better than the endless instagram reels. this is the start of a neewww meeee and my hair is growing out and i can drive anywhere i wannntt! speaking of driving, the other day i was out at my friends house for my friends birthday and i was out for a long time (she lives like 5 mins away from me) and it was like 10:30 and i was like... i dont have a curfew... my paresnts are probably worrided about me! and i texted my mom and i was liek we should probs establish and curfew (cuz i dont want my parents worried. i know they get pretty worried. and now i can drive and dictate that stuff!!). and my friends were Freakkked

like Why tf would u ask ur parents for a curfew. and maybe it was stupid LOL but i hate worrying them. anyways they made it like 11... and they are RLLLYYY chill and its nice how chill they are (they let me drive 45 mins away to pick something up at a mall alone!!!!! it was so scary and i was shaking by the end. and then i looked up a youtube video on how to do a left turn. and now i feel a lot better about driving!!! living and learning!!!) . so the least i can give them back is not worrying them. so yeah... im gonna try to make a like... daily agenda to keep me on track each day because i can get distracted so easy and i need to get out of the house or else ILL GO CRAZY AND INSANE. haha. HAH. i should go to the park one day. to play rhyhm heaven (thats what i did oneyear and it was rly fun!). and so i made my list for tomorrow.... i hope i stay on top. june is a pretty bare bones month for me, everything starts picking up in july so yeah. just gotta get throguh this month. i hung out with a friend yesterday at my hosue that i usualy dont hang out with. we played rhythm heaven and zelda and it was fun... and i lieked hearing their crazy stories and stuff. its nice getting a diff perspective, but also, this person has gone through crazy shit in and out of psych hospitals and sometimes i just dont know how to respond. Oh man! it was cool we hung out tho. random! but still cool! they get me. i like the people that Get Me.

"Well bring it up and never touch the ground

And when you need me i'll be around

This is how it's gonna be if you don't get sick of me"

Yeah obviously!!!! :P... i feel like my life has slowed down so much... its a little too nice and smooth. ITS TOOOOOOO NICE AND SMOOTH. everythign is different now!!!! if i knew id be here a year ago... idk how id feel!!! happy..... sad......... idk. i miss my sisters though. I MISS THEM SO MUCH. being an only child freaking SUCKS! thats why i love my friends sosososo much because i dont have those rocks in my life anymore. being the youngest sucks so bad. but independeennnncccceeeeeee!!!!!!!!! all the seniors graduated and i thik its crazy ill never see those people evver again in my life. like theyre gone.wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thatll be me in a year. i think its crazy we cant tell the future. ill never know where ill be in a year... until im THERE! ill know what college im giong to... probably everything eeverr!! hopefulyl my hair is longre!!! LOL.. HEHE. anyways... i think thats all for today.. kinda a boring monyay,, sorry.. but please wish me luck on my jazz band audition!! (IM GOING TO NEED IT.) see ya next monyay :PPPP

hello multiverse Freaks. its Meeeeee.... happy MONYAY! yay!! MEMORIAL DAY MONYAY. (tongue out emoji). Yeisss. ltos to talk about today. if i remember it all. maybe. anyways. Dude... i think im the most embarassing person ever on the planet. slash awkward. Sigh. ok but progreresss... i guess... no idk what im saying. anyways. i went to my STUPID freaking thing today. and guess the FREAK what. my audition is LESS THAN TWO FREAKING WEEKS AWAY. i might as well just go and explode and die before it hits june 9 because there AINT NO FREAKIN WAYY. its over for me. genuinely. sighh. anyways. so i went to a kraftwerk concert on friday and it was SICKKK like so cool i actually love kraftwerk SO MUCHHH!!! it was so cool and there were so many Hip millenials there it was insane.... i was so excited. i got this sick shirt and i wore it today to see it Freakdontsurf would say anything about it (because i like social experiements)(jk i just like looking cool... Ohh kraftwerk sooo Underground... SHUT UP) anyways my plan worked because he was like kraftwerk... i love them thats so sick.. i was like Ya i just saw them!!! on friday!! he wasl ike WATTT i didnt know they were having concerts? and i was like Ya Lol. it was so cool. Luv them. i saw Man Machine.. that album... and he was like Ermmmm... adn i was like the Red one... the one with the model... and he was like.. WATT thats the best one!!! that and computer world and trans europe express! and i was like ya those r pawwwsome.... it was so cool... Luved it

BY DESCENDENTS

BY OPERATION IVy

BY THE HEX DISPENSERS

BY ADOLESCENTS

"So now you wait for his spark, you know it'll turn you on

He's gonna make you feel the way you wanna feel

When he starts to lie, when he makes you cry

You know I'll be there, my day will come

I know someday, I'll be the only one"

and he was like U go to lots of concerts? and i was like ya im going to more this year..adn he was like Which ones.... (YES MY PERFECCT OPPORTUNITY TO LOOK COOL AND HIP WITH ALL THE COOL AND HIP CRAAP IM SEEING. not really. Sigh). and i was like.. Yaaaaaa of Montreal... heavenly... and bikini kill... (i forgot im also going to david gilmour i guess too. didnt mention it. Wtv.) and he was like Omg thats sick.... i didnt know of Montreal was having a concert... when is it... then i started TWEAKIN OUT i waslike HahAhahAhuA Omg of MONTREAL IS MY FAVORITE BAND EVEERRRR hAhaHAha I Love HTem... ya its on June 21.. AHAHA.... and he was like Omgg.. a thursday.. i need to see if i can go.. ive seen them before.. its just that one guy right? (HES SEEN oM BEFORE??? OH MY GOSDDASFSD.) and i was like YasAsss.. SHHahaha Kevin Barnes... LOVEHIM.... HAHAH... iM SsoOosoo ExxCCiteddDddDd... so that was a good interaction. i was only a bit weird. Yiss. we did drums for the whole hour (AND 20 extra minutes what is wrong with him he is not getting paid for going overtime on every single damn class Bro. and i lowk suck. i lowkey dont wanna audition the drums because tehres no point i have no chance but i dont have the heart to tell him so.. Yeah. just have to work. twice as hard. and it sucks cuz half the Crap we're doing it like not translatable to my crappy aleisis electric kit so i cant rly practice. and esp the stupid positioning of my STUPID RIDE. i have no Freaking freedom to move anything with that damn kit and literally it sucks... and my stool is too high......

"Try to describe it to the limit of my ability

its there for a second then its givin up what it used to be

contained in my music is somehow more than just sound

this inspiration coming and twistin things around"

but im grateful i have it in the first place. drums is such an inaccessible instrument Dude. yeah. well anyways.. for some reason the studio got new cymbals... and i hate how they sound... they r like real cymbals but they r WEIRDDD and loud (yeah Idiot cymbals are loud... Ru dumb). they threw me off.... and the ride sounded weird.. but also ive only ever touched one irl acoustic drum set in my life and its the one from that studio so i think im being silly. Heh. we did.... stuff.. idk... jazzz.. practice... stuff... idk... tried my best. he MADE M.e.... FORCED ME... to like... idk mouth drumm...scat... IDK THE WORD but like vocalize it... and it was so horrible and awkawrd i almsot died right there and then. IM SO AWKWARD. FORCED ME FOR LIEK 5 MINS TO. ig... he was being funny about it... "THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS" "bboom tch cop boom bom da da da ba boom ssss da da clap" so Yeah. SIgh. i did it... i Swear im good just when im alone... too much pressure all the time i cantthanddleitt... wahtver. soloing and crap... bossa nova... Workinnn on it! and he made me... gotoo... piano.. and i did so bad.. and its so hot in there.. and i suck... and i almost died right there and then "ur face is so red" HOW ABOUT YOU GO AND DIE HOW ABOUT I CRASH MYSELF INTO A TREE ON THE WAY HOME HOW IS THAT RED FOR U "its always so hot in here!" STOPPPPPPp EIDIOTTIOTJSOITHDFPGBJK. so Yah. and then i screamed and listned to rebellious screamy girl music on the way home.

"We are scientists in our lab

Looking through the microscope

The little glass slides, they never lie

How can this small mind cope?"

Hehehe. I love being dramatic Hheehehe :333 so that was MY monyay. lowk my fault for not practicing all week other than today. so ill really get it in this week. i sweaer I WILL DO IT! NO MORE OF THIS!!! yayyy....!!! its finals week... but i already feel like school is over. literally school gets out like 10-12 this whole week and i have ZEEROOOO finals. so im litreally chillin!!! so yep! i had kinda a crazy weekendddd too.. well friday was kraftwerk and itwas awesome. and on saturday i had my asb banquet (thank god... i dont have to see many of those people ever again..Haaha..) and it was ok... dude like people in asb r a different breed and the amount of casual body shaming and fatphobia from those people are insane and shocking that we are at this point. like genuinely. it was this breakfast thing and i constantly heard "big back" "fatty" how about shut up and let people eat? idc if its a joke? its.. not funny??? no one wants to hear you body shame yourself or anyone else? ok there was this like this pastry bowl with pastries and cinnamon rolls and muffins (it was a brunch banquet) and this girl was like "omg guys i love pastries!!!! does no one else love pastries but me??!?! what!!" and this other girl next to her was like "maybe im just not fat..." OK WAHT.?? THATS NOT NORMAL. THAT IS NOT NORMAL. HOW HAVE WE AS A WORLD GOTTEN TO THIS POINT. and then the first girl who likes pastries was like "ok.. pass me the fat bowl.." Dude. there is no way this is real.

"There’s nothing in this world that I would trade for you

And the air that moves between us must be bulletproof

My love Is a bat

Your heart Is a hemophiliac"

genuinely i dgaf that its a joke this whole "trend" of body shaming and fatphobia is reinforcing horrible horrible things in girls that it shouldn't and i dont understand why its funny. how the hell has this shit become normalized? or after the banquet (after like 10,0000 unfunny big back jokes. have you ever considered... that we need to eat... to live??!?!?!? that eating is.. normal.. and good??) some of them came to my house after to decide the asb list and the same thing. "omg guysss.. i cant eat these chips im literally so fat... someone stop me... im literally such a big back" -the skinniest person (while we were ALL eating chips. stfu). not to MENTION it reeks of fatphobia.. talking about being fat like its horrible and terrible and all this shit???? please shut up please please if i hear ONE MORE joke about it from a skinny person or if i see ONE MORE stupif ass weight loss instagram reel that has horrible unheatlhy 'tips' i am going to start spiraling and i literally swear to god i cannot deal with it anymor.e. i actually needed to step out of that banquet room it god so bad. it god so bad i was on the verge i cannot. have. this. happen. i swore this wouldnt happen this summer. so maybe writing it out will give me the... idk.. discipline to not fall back into bad habits. so its not all just in my head. its been to relevant. this isnt OKAY!!! DONT START IDIOTIC 'TRENDS' LIKE THIS MAYBE. jesus christ its like we are moving backwards or something, its genuinely terrifying. i think my first course of action is getting off of INSTAGRAM STUPID REELS!!! PLeaase it sucks so bad. im gonna LOOOOSEEE ITTT!!!! i hate instagram reels so much. and social media.

BY Vandals

BY descendents

"I once had a girlfriend. But then one day she dumped me.

And everywhere I'd go people would ask me where she was

I don't wanna talk about her. Someone always asks about her

So I tell them all "My girlfriend's dead""

"Statistically I'm far above the rest

I do my homework, never have to guess

My social life's an empty wreck

Romance is an alien labor"

literally genuinely i would quit all social media if i could but it sucks cuz i literallt CANT. ig i could twitter but thats not the problem its instagram. i managed to get off of tik tok but now im just on instagram reels. but instagram is literally my way of communication to most people and my friends now. deleting it would create way too much of a disconnect. also, i manage like 5 school instagram accounts and that just wouldn't be logical. i just don't know what to DOOO... maybe i shouold just watch dharr man eveyr time i want to wacth instagram reels. Ugh. i need to make some drastic change in my life or im gonna spiral this summer i KNOW IT! aanyways. while i was deciding the next year asb list with the other asb people there was a huge argument between the pres and vp and they started yelling and it was kinda scary... like im kinda scared for next year.. hearing a guy my age raise his voice like that (at a girl.. yikes) is just so odd. eyahhhh..... also i babysat this ADORABLE LITTLE 2 YEAR OLD NADIA shes my neighbors kid.... and Omg she is so adorable i had the best time. we colored and watched baby shark and i had... to change her diaper even though i had no idea how to so i just guessed... its pretty self explanatory.. right?! well i taught myself. and my neigbors had cameras everywhere through the whole hosue and they kept on turning on and off and it wasSCARY but also ya makes sense.

but was so fun and they paid ME $75 FOR IT WHATTT!!!! and they said they wanted me to babysit her again!!! SO YAYYY!!!! FIRST JOB???!?!?! I GUESS!!!! I GOT MY FIRST JOB!!! YAYAYAY! with the sweetest little girl ever... Love her so sososoo much.. and their house is so nice too!! yay :3 so im really excited about that. and for senior year too!! and now that i can drive and im allowed i finally have this awesome newfound feeling of independence.. like i can do anything and go anywhere when i want and stuff.. and i started cooking for myself because wow.... i realized i can make whatever i want with whatever ingredients for myself any day i want and its AWESOME.... i made spam musubi yesterday... spam fried rice.. and my go-to to make is cucumber saladddd its so good!!! so im so happy about that.. im a newfound chef. YAY!!! after my jazz band audition all will be awesome and chill and i will stay in good habits and clean my room maybe. and get good at everything and finish rhythm heaven megamix and read sick books on riot grrrl and the history of jazz (thanks mom for the b day gift LOL?). this is my time. Oh Yeah. :3 happy monyay everyone, see you next monyay, sleep tight and be awesome or seomthing idk...

goodnight :PPPPP

yay.... last school monyay!

epic song of the week:

BY FALCO

BY BLUR

BY VIOLENT FEMMES

BY JOE STRUMMER

BY OF MONTREAL

"Don't turn around, wa-uh-oh

(yeah-yeah)Der Kommissar's in town, wa-uh-oh

You're in his eye and you'll know why

The more you live, the faster you will die"

[lyrics translated from german]

helloooooo!!!!!! Bros this site is dead... after it died everyone forgot... pls start posting again.... PLEAK! yeyy... well anyways it monyay!! and the last monyay of school because next monyay is memorial day... YAY!!! JUNIOR YEAR IS ALMOST OVER! fianlllyy... im kind of excited to get out of here... college awesomeness YES! welp! monyay review! i made a candy salad in apes today.. and ate takis.. and tehn had pizza in broadcast.. so it was kind of Littttt..... bros ok i had my class with [REDACTED]dontsurf (hop off) and UGHHHHHHHHHHH bros i suck so bad at PIANO i know i say this every time but i suck!! anyways so i go in and hes liek do u wanna start w piano or drum and i was like PIANO.. and he was like Woah... u usually say u dont care. (IM SCREWED FOR THIS PIANO JAZZ BAND AUDITION ACTUALLY! THATS WHY. id MUCH RATHER BE PLAYING DRUMS) BRo. and we start with FREAKING blue 7 sonny HOElins. stupid IMPROV COMPING whatecer i hate it so much i dont know why i have such a mental block Gurl. idk... guys i sweaer Jazz piano is harder than all the other instruments in terms of jazz because every other instrument (more or less-ish) u can only play one note at a time but for piano you play a BUNCH and have SO MUCH MORE FREEDOM AND IT SUCKS SO HARD WHO CAME UP WITH THIS CRAP

Fire Songs

"Well, you can all just kiss off into the air

Behind my back, I can see them stare

They'll hurt me bad, but I won't mind

They'll hurt me bad, they do it all the time"

"Girls who want boys

Who like boys to be girls

Who do boys like they're girls

Who do girls like they're boys

Always should be someone you really love"

like i dunno learning curve crap. sigh... i try my best but i embarass myself as Always!!!! and im just soSOSOOOO awkward girl. sigh just be NORMAL GIRL. and he kept grabbin at my Damn phone to play the song... Just Freaking USE UR OWN DAMN PHONE (that he does NOT have a case on and its ALL CRACKED. da frick). and i had to go on spotify to open blue 7 and he saw i was listening to der kommissar.... and didn't comment. I TOOK THAT SONG FROM HIMMMMMUHHH (its a rly popular song..ig) and i searched.. and im scared he saw what i was searching for (it was literlally nothing interesting... or embarassing). Ugh. frekaing Ho. at least i did Fine on Ceora..... i feel so screwed for this audition though Bros. BUT i mean honestly i dont think theres many jazz pianists at my school... so i have a pretty good chance.. and they are in need of a pianist and Stuff... so even if i suck i think ill get in... but still its embarassing you know? so scary.. freaky.... and a guy that used to have a crush on me is in jazz band so i cant be bad in front of him because thats embarassing.. like... Brah. Only two more monyays until the Audition. HahahAHHDBAHDBHASAHAHA (IM SCREWED ITS OVER FOR ME). think positive Hah... Yis. so... positive. next year will be so awesome! i can feel it!!! im ready!! and ill practice all the time and be really good at everything!!! omg... BRODONTSURF freaking posted playing united states of whatever on the IG. freak.

like idk i think im the most awkward Gal ever. but like embrace it... awkward... is.. cool... (its not) (sigh). YEAH WHATEVA!!!! (liam lynch reference. Heh.) aywayss... i had a project for apes where i had to make like a diy sustainable thing so my Biffle Bae came over and we made cat scratchers together and it was Awesome and my cat scratcher is really Cute.... and anyway sometimes i feel like sometimes im keepin my Biffle bae a secret like... no one knows how cool and awesome she is... NO ONE KNOWS...too underground... she too mysterious and hip.... and lokwey we are so the same (aries twins) but also so different its acttuually crazy. i am NOT mysterious... no matter how much i try. but it like works. shoutout to da biffle bae ur actually the realest 1. also shoutout for reminding me to STAY POSITIVE. just in language in general towards myself its so easy to be so negative on urself... but no... every minor inconvenience does NOT make me want to KMS. #StayPositive. and its probably a good mental thing... if you say this stuff enough (good or bad) you start believing it... and stuff.. so... i need to be nicer to myself toO!!!!!!! Yay. Thanls. also. i was going through my old tweets on my priv twitter account thats just basically a diary and Dude i am SO glad i am not in the past anymore. like oh mman. im so glad im in THIS moment living this life right NOW because i was FREAKED UP back then dude. not like weird but i was so sad and in a genuienly horrible relationship in hindsight and im so glad its over

like oh man. that stuff was NOT NORMAL. like coming to terms with some of that crap i dealt with is like something i need to rememeber... bro i posted such sad stufff!! and i know i said in my last post that last summer wasnt bad because i was distracted in a relationship but i lied actually last summer sucked so bad and i was horribly depressed and mean to everyone!! and i did things i regret!! (but also i try to have no regrets. so NO REGERTS (but also yes, regerts.. but its a learning experience!)) and also my cat died LOL. RIP SULTAN. i just need to finally have a normal summer where im not superuper sad DUDE! this is the summer. THIS IS THE ONE! dude like sometimes i need to remind myself to look back and remind myself of how i got here in the first plcae because i forget EVERYTHING bad so easily,, its good but also sucks! like Yes live in the moment but remember how i got here, too!! and im glad im in this current position in life and i hope summer doesnt messs it all up and i stay Chillin. YAY! happy almost summer time! im excited.. actually.. as long as i stay busy and im not alone too much, itll be good.. but actually dude my sister (the one with a girlfriend) is staying in her college town over summer because idk... she doesnt like my parents. or wants freedom. and sometimes it feels like she abandoned me as soon as she went to college yk? like....the other day she was complaining about being with my parents alone for a trip, but i do that every day. and i understand i guess. but i feel like she forgot about me and went off to live her life, doesnt even want to come back for me. ill probably never live with her again or have what we used to have ever again. and every time anyone asks whos my best friend i always say her, but maybe im just being selfish by feeling like she abandoned me.

I LOVEW that song. HOOOEEEE HOP OFF. WHATEVA! bro. anywyas... speaking of men i Hate. i have a FREAKING GROUP PROEJCT *sobs* in FREAKING HISTORY (my least favorite class bc i know no one) and it sucks so bad... and my one friend in there... Shoutout Robert.. invited me to his group. of FREAKS. Bros i HATE talking to boys i feel like im tweakin out every time i have to talk to one.. like how you even treat them.. .Ew... cooties... or seomething... (im scared of boys probably because i only grew up with girls in my family other than my dad. thats probably why im a lesbian..). anyways these guys aare FREAKKYY and of COURSE we are doing a mash up presentation based on an essay we all wrote individually before and OFC I CHOSE TO WRITE MY ESSAY ON GAY PEOPLE like an IDIOT so now i have to present about gay people in this group of freaks who probably think gay people are FREAKS. and i am just sitting there... awkwardly.. trying to be normal.... shoutout Robert but why would you subject this on me. (hes the only normal one... except i dont understand half the words he says... i am not hip enough for this LIFE UHFDHGD). and then the group next to me was talking about planning a Hip Lit Func(tion) at an airbnb.. like i am not supposed to be here get me out of that DAMN HISTORY CLASS PLEASE I HATE IT THERE. WHY AM I THERE.

"I don't know what love is

Is there something else giving me the chills?

But if my hands are the color of blood

Then, baby, I can tell ya

Sure, I can tell ya

Love kills"

but i dont know. even last summer she did live at home, but even then it wasnt. normal. she went out every day was essentially NEVER EVER home, but when she was, she locked herself in her room and blasted music loudly or got high secretly (and denied it when i asked about our bathroom smelling like weed). i just remember feeling so frustrated with her. and yes we have our moments but idk i just feel like itll never be the same as it was. and her choosing not to come home this summer was like the final blow on it. i miss her and i just feel abandoned here at home while she goes off and lives her amazing life without me. sometimes it feels like she doesnt really think about the things she does, she just goes with the flow, i guess. doesnt really always consider everything.. shes just.. surface level on a lot of stuff.. i guess is the best way to describe it, which is kinda mean. i dunno. im probably being selfish and maybe a little jealous im stuck here. but it really sucks and i feel alone. i mean, i have my other sister, who i LOVE so much, and shes home for the summer, but she spends all her time with my mom and i dont always know how to talk to her like that. im glad shes here though, ive never felt abandoned by her,,, shes my rock, maybe. idk it all kinda sucks on that front, but im glad i have really good friends to depend on and stuff, they are awesome. thats the saddest thing about going to college, def... leaving my friends. i hope we stay friends. anyways Sorry got too sad there anyways happy monyay thanks monyayers for monyaying this monyay!!!! YYAYYY! SEE YOU NEXT TIME!

"Rock n' roll is dead

Music hurts the head, that’s why it’s cool

Strum a realistic song to hear Hunter say:

"So much hate for anyone we used to date”

goodnight! :P

im so glad to be back on monyays....

song of da week

BY KRAFTWERK

YAY FINALLY! Omg ive missed monyay multiverse posts so much NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ive been ITCHING... (to overshare on the internet)!!!! everything is finally normal now. exxcept now that its not... because today was so weird and i totally got karma.. for being the person that i am... Sigh. like do i deserve everything horrible that has happened? Yes. but am i still sad about it? Yes. Sigh. anyways. wheere does one start?! after SOOO LONG.... NO MONYAY SINCE MARCH!!!??? oh man. its hoirrble. PEACE IS RESTORED IN THIS WORLD! Thank god. i actually checked multiverse like every other day... in hope.. and I WAS RIGHT! anyways. my day. i got karma for being horrible today. and i lost my favorite chapstick. and on my THIRD day of driving myself to shcool (because im FINALLY allowed to drive myself now) i..... got in a fender bender.... SO EMBARASSING BRO THERES NO WAY. it was really minor... i barely scratched this guy.. and it was because i was STUPIDLYY STUPIDLY distracted by someone walking on the sidewalk like a FREAKING GODDAMN IDIOT. and i accidentally hit some guy (that was going very fast in my defnse) while taking a stupid left turn. the guy was nice... but i still had to give him my number. GOD IM SO STUPID AND DUMB THERES NO WAY.

BY CHILDISH GAMBINO

BY THE GO! TEAM

"Neon lights

Shimmering neon lights

And at the fall of night

This city's made of lights"

like im actually just simply so embarassed and angry at myself for letting myself get distracted and just.. letting that happen. and i WANT to be mad at the world but i KNOW i deserve IT ALL. I HATE ITALLLL!!! im not untouchable. IM NOT UNTOUCHABLE!!! sigh. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. anyways. everything else was fine today... idk... i love my friends.... and stuff. yeah.. anyways. my Monyay activities. my CLASSSS!!! youd think that since early march that i wouldve actually gotten good... at drums.. and jazz piano... but no... i still suck really bad.. i think i feel improvement! especially in drums!!! but piano has really thrown me for a loop.. and THE JAZZ BAND AUDITION IS DUE ON JUNE 9!!!! THATS SO SOON!!! TOO SOON FOR ME TO GET GOOD BY THEN... (I CANNOT DO THAT). Hell naw. piano is jsut so tough.... WHY the FREAK do i have to understand WHY im playing all these notes and why cant i JUST PLAY THE NOTES. its so so SO hard to wrap my head around.. like in the song im practicing for my audition theres a D+7 chord. and i was like Da frick is a D+7?? and freaking nico is like.. "oh a D+7 is ACTUALLY just a Ab major 7 chord... but with D as a base" OK THEN WHY THE HELL IS IT WRITTEN AS A D+7 THEN??? WHY NOT JUST WRITE Ab MAJ 7/D!!!!???? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU LEE MORGAN??? "blah blah something about perfect triads (or something i forgot) is why!!" ITS SO CONFUSING. WHY CANT I JUST PLAY THE NOTES WHYYYY.!?!?!? its dirving me crazy. there is no other time where i feel MORE stupid than when im in that room with nico and im trying to understand all this jazz theory CRap.

amazing songz

"I don't really like shades, big rims, or jewelry

But gettin' time of day from a model is new to me

Bein' me isn't as hard as it used to be

Now everyone sing the chorus, man, you do it so beautifully"

like genuinely. i ACTUALLY feel stupid... and Tbh ive never felt like that b4... like Truly helplessly not knowing something... like i kNOW he views me as this stupid person who just cant understand... i just dont know HOW to understand. its so fruterating. not to mention i work horribly under pressure.. and i do things well when im at home practicing alone but when he is in the room during a class i get really nervous that ill mess everything up and then i DO mess everything up. soo.... i just dont know how to let go of myself i Suppoese. i dunno... ill just keep trying because i really really really want this... just sounds so awesome. i also feel like im really improving in drums!! like to the point whhere all the stuff im doing is beyond my crappy aleisis electric kit (Please i want an acoustic kit SO BAD)... and brushes.. and stuff,... its really fun!! but not to put all my eggs in one basket, but my only chance to get into jazz band is with piano... percussion is basically impossible and their drummers are already insanely good and im... not... and they also dont have a piano player AT ALL.. so basically my only shot is through piano.. which sucks.. but also.. IDK!! im trying. a lot! but i CAN ALWAYS DO MORE.

"Take it the goal goal

Push it to the limit

We are the movers and we don’t do "stop" (Say what?)"

"The mirror ball's throwing mold

You can't get a grip if there's nothing to hold

See the flash catch a white lily laugh and wilt

But if you must smash a glass first fill it to the hilt"

IDK. i dont want to be so negative but ive been really disappointing myself as of late i need to CARE MORE!!!!!! ABOUT MORE!!! BE MORE AND DO MORE!!! but also... i think thats just my horrible haircut speaking and once it grows out it will all be ok. anyways. i really REALY want jazz band... like nothing more in my whole life have i wanted jazz band. anyways.... today during my class nico was all likke "oh ya i was looking up about the kendrick vs drake stuff... who are you team?" LOLLLLLLLLLL... i told him im doing a project on that for school for my class and he laughed... and im team kendrick.. Obvi.. (tbh i still am pretty lost on the whole thing but im trying to stay Hip with it) but that was funny.. and then at the end of the class he GAVE ME HIS NUMBER LMAOOOOOOOOOOO....he was like "oh yeah.. i know emails kinda weird... so ill just give you my number.. if you have any questions...." LOLOOLLLL NUMBER COPPEDDD LITERALLY COPPED. so yeah hes basically in love with me.... (Ew... EWEWEWEWW). that was so funny. so now i have his number LMAO. so yeah.. it was a decent class for a crappy monyay.. and i didn't crash into anything on the way there so that was a plus. (Ugh.) idk ill power on... WAIT GUSY. CAN YOU BELIEVE ITS ONLY TWO (2) MONYAYS UNTIL SHCOOL IS OVER??!?!? OH MY GOD YES YESS!!! IM SO EXCITED!! for it to be OVER and to BEGIN SENIOR YEAR!! GOD BLESS AMERICA! im so ready.. summers gonna be so awesome!!!!

BY MGMT

yay jazz song of da week!!

BY LEE MORGAN

IM A SUCCKERRR FOR BOSSA NOVA ILL BE THE FIRST ONE TO SAY IT!!! god. GOD I LOVE BOSSA NOVAAA.. this song is fire... its part of my jazz audition... lik,e oh man its Fire. i love love love the piano in it and i think the melody is super aweomse... shoutout mr simon... for the PMO.

like now that i can actually drive!!! and im allowed to!!! its like.. IT FOR ME!!!! YAYAYAYAY!!!! although, summer makes me nervous, because i hate hate hate being alone because me alone is like.. the worst part of me.. and i get weird and sad and just nothign is good. and last summer i was in a relationship so it was all ok and i was distracted mostly but the summer before that... like i dont... want that... again... and im nervous for this summer.. but i have awesome friends and things to do and internships and stuff... so !! i hope HOPE it will all be ok!! and i will read and practice instruments and all that... Sigh i wish i had an acoustic drum kit though. but i mean, im not pursuing any of this. so yeah. i am pretty excited for school to be over... one step closer to graduation, which, on one hand im looking forward to, independence and college and crap.. but also. the future is scary, and after senior year,,, ill never ever be a kid again! EVER!! and so.. i suppose i must make this year ReALLLYY count!!! SUPER MEGA!! enjoy it a lot!! pleasss!!! anyways... ii think things are going good right now!! besides todays mishaps and regrets... its smooth sailing from here. especially in terms of school... and stuff.. friends.. relationships... life.. and yeah. just need to get off the phone (curse you instagram reels!!!!!!) and be A KID!!!!!!! oh man i really missed multiverse... i wonder why/how it went back up.. i thought the owners forgot about it Tbh!! im so happy its back though... i have a horrible oversharing problem and im not as cool and mysterious as i would hope i am.. and multiverse helps me.. because i can overshare and be NOT myserious here.. and then be the cool NON-oversharer and mysterious person IRL!!! i guess i couldve gone on tumblr or something else but also i LOVE the creative aspect of multiverse.... its like mini graphic design blogs!!! idk i love it. and i TRIED neocities. im like never coding ever.

ohhh i was home alone this past weekend because my whole family went to my sisters grad in iowa but i had an exam so i stayed home.. and it was a fun good experience! i cooked and cleaned and took care of the cats and stuff and i liked it a lot... it was pretty crazy.. .and also i met a raccoon!! one night i went out at like 10pm (yeah dangerous i know but whatever im still alive) into my neighborhood.. and i kinda live on the point of a hill so theres this peak of the hill where everyone goes for sunsets and you can kinda just look down on the valley i live in ... and i went there (because i had to do at least ONE rebellious thing while my parents were away) and it was like... actually insane. going out at night like is so nice.... the crickets were so loud and i could hear like everything....... and all the bugs.. one of the bugs sounded like marbles bouncing together??? and there was a frog croaking?? and a dog barking in the distance,, LOL it was liek a perfect little fairytale scene or something... and i was just like.. looking out!! on the valley!! and the moon was right there. and im like. Oh man this is waht i want to do for a living (be in the world..... nature.. crap...). Perspectives..... and crap.. or seomthing... idk.... im not really deep liek that. but it was really good. and i think everyone should go on a night walk through their neighborhood.. and make friends with a raccoon and sit in trees (i have a favorite tree to sit in right next to the school next to my house... its so comfortable to just chill in.. so i also went there that night). anyways!!! HAPPY FIRST MONYAY SINCE MARCH!!! IM SO HAPPY MONYAYS ARE FINALLY BACK FINNALLY PEACE IS RESTORED AND EVERYTHING IS NORMAL AGAIN!!!!!!!! YIIPPPEEEE!!! STAY TUNED FOR ANOTHER MONYAY NEXT WEEK!! (assuming the site doesn't go down again) YAY!! love all the monyayers out there... even though everyone ever thinks this site is still dead probably. Rip. goodnight!

HELLO MULTIVERSE!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS BACK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO!!!!!! HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I missed it so much. I'm finally free from the shackles (of having no multiverse). Hurrah!

HELLO INTERNET! happy monyay to ALL! YAY. monyay. of HELL WEEK. oh my god thi week is going to be too Freakin turnt for me. spirit week.. spring dance... everything. oh man. welp. We keep on keepin on. debrief this week: my class today was so Normal. almost.. too... normal... Jk. we started another song thats NOT tenor madness.. and it was Awessome it was (BOSS)A NOVA. Song for Mai Fatherrrrr. so FIre. Omg. on both Piano &drumsssssssss its so COOOLLLLLLL its like REAl LIFE AWESOME. but i still suck at my scales. and its still EMBARASSING. ugh. idk how to be good i literally practiced. Will try my best. Trust. nayyyyyyyy... >3<... Erm honestly not much to report today. Wow. what kind of monyay is this. ok first of all the fit was fire so 80s Asstheticcccccccc (one of those color block windbreakers). King. he asked me what 8 x 3 was for some reason.. soemthing abt the sheet music.. and i DID IT WITH MY FINGErS and i was so embarssing. i almost died. irl. he looked So diappointed actually like my whole generation is failed because i cant do 8 x 3 in my head. ITS NOT MY FAULT MATH ISNT MY FREAKIN SUBJECT JESUSSSSSSSSSSS BROOOOOOOO. but i Ate the friggin comping.. its so fun to Undedrstand OMmmggg :3. and bossa nova is SO FUN to play and do and everything i Love it so much. totally so COOOOOOOOOOL. i love feeling. so. Stupid. every. monyay. HAaaaaaaahhhhhhhh..

SONG OF DA WEEK #1

BY DESCENDENTS

OTHER AWESOME SONGS OF DA WEEK

" I wanna be stereotyped

I wanna be classified

I wanna be masochistic

I wanna be a statistic

I wanna be a clone!

I want a suburban home!!!!!!!!!!"

BY L'IMPERATRICE

BY LA FEMME

"The wild escape

Disoriented, she takes herself

On a lunar safari

The sudden Odyssey

Far from a solar memory

The moon"

lyrics translated from French

lyrics translated from French

Seriously. dont think i ever feel more stupid. eff it we balll. nayways im jsut so excited. for Bosa ovaaaaaa. so Super cool. smooth jazz troll irl... or smooth jazz nyan cat (just discovered today)(i love nyan cat)( i got in trouble for watching nyan cat vids in class with my Biffle Bae today)(i was so emabrassed). speaking of Jazz.... my teacher advisor girl idk shes the advisor for the team im on is literally Kinda being weird abt things... like she was being so weird abtwanting to join jazz band.. and other things.. idk.. i think i need to distance myself cuz like she treats me like we r bffs.. Girl ur my teacher. u cant be my bff... Haha... PLEASE. and i think... i might not take her class next year if i get into jazz band... i dont know if i can handle her THAT much. it becomes this weird relationship where she treats me like we r bffs on the same level but then also shes my teacher. so obviously she has that over me and can use the "oh we r bffs ur literally my secretary adopted daughter" card on me when she wants..her way...but also she has authority and is a person of power over me.. so she can use it.. like to convince me or something.... like with jazz band.. or other things. and i know she wouldnt use it to her advtange in a WEIRD way. its just odd... and teacher student boundaries are def being crossed...... YIKES. i think i might just stop telling her things abt me. honestly i nkow she'd be so mad if i didn't take her class next year over Jazz band... but thats just the thing. shed be MAD. youre my teacher!!!! its MY life. ur like 40. and haeve 3 kids. Ok sorry. its just been bothering me lately.. shes a Queen. i swarrrr.... i just need to Stay Aware.

"Pale night, darkness falls, not a woman to be seen

You wonder how you will make it through, once at the mercy of the red birds

And suddenly, you remember this secret so well-kept:

"Our is not to do or die, our is to smoke and stay high"

the french people came and now i LUV Dem French Tunes. so. FIREEEE. the ones on the left are my highlightss. the electronic synth sound of France is so beaitful i Died. Help im soooooooooooo tired. last week i went to that jam session Tingyyyyy my teacher told me to go to with my Biffle Bae and it was soooooooooooooo Funny.... like it was a bumch of Hip Col teens all there... but they all KNEW eachother.. and we were like 30 mins late so we jsut kinda sat in the corner for 2 hours and watched these kids improvise......... for two hours... No one.. aproaching us.. (to be fair we didn't apprach anyone either but Stilll. we r valid. Shy.. and Scared... Naked and Afraid.... IM SO TIRED OH MY GOSH) but i sitll had a Pawsome time :3 its cool Getting out there. and trying new things... even if they don't work out. ITS THE EXPERIENCE!!!!!!! AND IT WAS AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEE. i think my teacher thought it was a jazz thing and it wasnt anyways LOL. still. i knew dat going in. YOLO! OMG. my sister FREAKING GOT A GIRLFRIEND. jesus. LIKE A REAL LIFE OFFICAL GIRLFRIEND. Oh she needs Gods love for this. at least her girlf is SO FREAKING COOL oh my GODUHHHHHH. so CRAZY. AND ALSO my sister just got like two new tattoss. genuinely shes livin da life. but my parents will iterally disown her that is actually so crazy. i hope she wins everything *CRY EMOJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII* i lvoe my sister so much actually shes my qUeen. so exctied for spring break. after HELL WEEEEEK. im so TIRED of the CYCLE i know i keep saying this but WHEN DOES IT END? IS THIS HOW LIFE JUST GOES ON FOREVER LIKE THIS? week weekend week weeke

like GOD im sick of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN DOES IT END WHENNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! Help oh my GODUHHHHHHHHHHHh. (keeping the minsdset trust)i have to dress up tmrw and idk what as.. some music thing. i wanted to be a beastie boy but i dont want people to think im just a generic rapper... and idk how to make it clear im a beastie boy. maybe ill go full drag queen for Kevin Barnes (I LOVE YOU KEVIN BARNES OH MY GOD). Jeez this monyay was so short...lacked so much debrief... i had a Long Week. and i had SO MUCH HOMEOWRKKKKKKKK oh my hof i had to start this later than my normal time. the Grind. Keep. Grinding. im frgrinding. PLAEASE. LET ME GRINFd. im ging to fall asleep at my Freaking keyboard. i had to grind it out though. thanks all da monyayers... sorry for the disappointing monyay this monyay. ill come back strong next monyay. TRUST. TRUUSTTT!!!!

smooth jazz nyan cat says Baiii and Goodnight!!!

yellow internet!

BY GAL COSTA

BY HAMID AL SHAERI

or.. more like SAD MONYAY! oh my god. because someone. will NOT HOP OFFFFF!!!!!!! sigh. well first of all... i got sick this weekend so i was so sad.. and i have cramps today.. and so i was EXTRA sad. but it wasn't that bad. i was so tired and sad today at school... (not rly). anyways. the MAN WHO WILL NOT FREAKING HOP OFF. so i walk into this studio. hes like Ok Brb lemme get Dem brushes. Okie. we start with dem drums. Okie. i learned this SUPER MEGA HARD STUFF. like. flim flams (....MY LITTLE PONY oh my GOSH) or something like that... like grace notes.. which iSUCK *cry* but i think it was the position of the pad anyway... and then we do BUZZ ROLLS. and if u dont know what theese STUPID THINGS ARE oh my goh its so hard the internet makes it look SO EASSY Help Me. im trying so hard. SO..HARD!! but i. Yeah. but it was chill. i try my best. im so awkward i say "Cool Yeah" all the timeUHHGH!! and he tells me something about the history of drums and military and then goes "yeah who cares"... HELPPPPP (i do.Pls. PlsPLSPLSPLS.) so anyways. WE. START.. BRUSHES!!! for the first time EVER! and this.. was so.. COOOL. oh my god. i felt like a fancy little brush Gal. wavin them around.. and stuf... well anyways this guy (very UNASSURINGLY) goes "yeah im glad u r interested in this stuff cuz Tbh brushes are many drummers weakness.. including me.. like im not that great sooo im glad i can teach u and get better myself" HELP WAHTTTTTTTTTT. well Thx.. but Wut.

*lyrics translated from Portuguese*

"Sunny day, flower smell

I like the sea, love

Your color, moonlight

Wind that comes from the sea

whirls, spins, twirls the wind

My love will take you

Far beyond the end of the world

Where i will call you"

"Take me in your hands

Take me to a moon in the Clouds

My heart in your hands

My Heart has passed a thousand Door

My life In your hands

Get the Life which gone and Which i lost back to me"

*lyrics translated from Arabic*

*lyrics translated from Portuguese*

BY ELTON MEDRIOS

well brushes were SUPER UPER cool. but oddly like.. its so funny watchiing someone (Nico) use them because its jsut like.. caressing the freaking drum head with a BRUSH LOL LIKE UR PETTING IT!. and he like stares me dead in the eye doing that stupid music concentrating face ITS SO FUNNY and SO AWKWARD. like genuinely brushes is so funy i swaer it feels so intimate LOLLLLLLL. this poor snare head has taken such a beating its whole life being literally slammed and hit every freaking second.. you can give it a little chill break by.... petting it with a brush.... LOLLL AM I MAKING IT WEIRD...ITS JUST SO FUNNY. and you do this thing where you like 'stir' it and the whole thing is you just .. STIR IT. with ur brush. ITS FUNNYI SWEAR. well anyways it was SUPER mega cool. and he was like "u should get ur own brushes Btw. after this u shuld go to guitar center (right nextdoor) so i was like Okie. well im TOTALLY KILLING IT ON THE BRUSHES. he was like Yess Go gurlll (he wasn't) and then im doing some thing idk with them and youll never guess. I MY HANDS START SHAKING AGAIN. oh my god what is wrong with me why am i always shaking during this damn class. maybe because SOMEONE IS LITERALLY ON ME ALL THE FREAKING TIME HOP THE FREAK OFF. like he is so close STARING at me do this LIKE 2 INCHES AWAY oh my god in that tiny freaking room OF COURSE IM GONNA START SHAKING THATS SO MUCH PRESSURE?. and he POINTS IT OUT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! "haah ur shaking..." OH MY GOFD HOP OFF. i just laughed. awkwardly this time. why does this happen EVERY WEEK.

"Come, because day has broken

Gardens are blooming

Everything is a presentiment

That this is the longed for time

To be happy"

BY BOBBY TIMMONS TRIO

Literlly. Jesus christ. well brushes was chill and cool and we lowk did that for most of the hour and it was awesome. Sigh. so then... it was Piano time. and heres where it ALL WENT DOWNHILL. IM AC TUALLY KILING MYELF. RN. oh my GODUH. we go. i practiced. a BIT. a bit. probably didn't practice what i was supposed to practice bc i forogt. This. Guy. oh my god. PISSED. OFF. AT ME. JESUS. HOP OFFFFFFF!!!! i know he was probably using scare tactics on me but Jesus. we were doing like idk chords or someting and i always forget scales/chords and i need to think hard abt it to remember cuz idk THERES 60+ DAMN SCALES IN THE DAMN PIANO. and hes like "you know brooke YOU were the one to assk me to play jazz on the piano and if you want to be the difference between a casual player and someone super awesome, which i know you can be, YOU HAVE TO MEMORIZE UR SCALES.. How many times do u practice piano.. probably not as much as the drums, HUH? yeah thats what i thought. well if ur NOT GONNA PUT ANY EFFORT into the FREAKING PIANO at HOME then theres NO POINT and i can just teach you drums the whole hour, do you want that??? YOU have to put the EFFORT IN. try playing a b flat minor arpeggio RIGHT NOW. (*i DO but it takes me a few seconds and i get a note wrong at first ). YEAH EXACTLY. at this point in a song the chord has already passed. you NEED TO KNOW IT or theres no POINT IN THESE LESSONS." OH. MY. GOD. HOP. OFFFFF!!!! JESUS. CHRIST. THREATENING TO STOP TEACHING ME THE PIANO IS SOOOOO CRAZYY!!!!

BY OS MUTRETERIOS GRILADOS

and so i FINALYL spot the brushes when HE WALKS UP TO THEM. and hes like "Oh yeah i came to buy brushes and sticks but Godamn brushes are so expensive (THEY ARE FREAKING $30+?????? GODDAMN. FOR A PAIR OF METAL BRUSHES.) so im just getting sticks"... liek Lit. so he like picks something like 'u should get these' and like ive never seen brushes in my life before this day so im like Okay Yah. and bro goes "sooo.. u have an allowance or something.. these r expensive" i was like Yah i do.. Hah. SO. AWKWARD. im about to spring out of that guitar center right then and there. i take the brushes.. i take them out of there package to see.. and they look... like brushes..(IDK???) so yeah.. he shows me these like fancy bent ones and i was like Wow fancy... and he was like Yah.. these make a diff sound.. Cooollllll... Okay. so i LEAVE. HIGHTAIL. with those brushes. i pay but he follows WATCHING ME LIKE A HAWK AS I PAY IM SO AWKWARD AT THAT DAMN CASH REGISTER. HE HAS A FREAKING STARING PROBLEM OH MY GOD HOP OFF. and i payed $31 for those purple brushes. Thanks. i was so awkward. but i at least wave goodbye. I LEAVE THANK GOD ITS ALL OVER. one more week until next monyay. im going to start tweaking out. genuinely . sigh. so it was quite an unsuccessful monyay. and i think i need to explode. RIGHT NOW. God. DAMN. i guess i need to FREAKING practice my DAMN SCALES. and also the drum stuff i learned isn't transferrable to my crappy electric kit bbecause it too fancy.. like.. buzz.. rolls... and brusshes.. dont rly work on dat.. so i think i will go and KKKMsklFMSKMsm. my life.. is so... hard... AND HOW AM I SUPOSED TO PRACTICE WHEN I GET HOOME AT 7PM EVERY SINGLE FERAIKING NIGHT AND THEN I HAVE TO EAT AND DO MY HOMEWORK AND SHOWER. HOW. HOOOOWWWWWW. Pls. im gonna lose it. So bad. also my like french cousins are coming to my house for three days? and i dont want to be loud for their french ears.

like literally at this point Jusstttt tell me you hate me Brother. and first of all i KNOW my scales. i am just bad at them and i cant do them like the back of my hand. Jesus. thank you for 10+ years of piano lessons for failing me! i need to get out of that mindset and pretend like ive never touched this damn intrument before because thats lowk why i dont practice ( I DO PRACTICE. just not my scales.). UGH. and i know it was a scare tactic to make me practice them but HARSH MUCH>??? like COME ON. maybe ILL turn the tables and threaten to drop out and then he'll have no one to teach jazz stuff to. how do you like THEM APPLES NICO. im kidding. Sigh. im sick of these people. soo... sick.... and the darn class ended. i was like "Ok. COol. Got it. Haha. PLEASE PLEAS EPLEAEPLEASEPLEASE". (not rly). he tells me to buy brushes.. something something.. gives me the damn papers he forgot last week...gives me some badge.. and tells me to have fun at this open mic thing im going to with my BIffle Bae (even though we aren't playing anything). i leave and my dad isn't there to get me yet so i just go to guitar center to get the brushes while i wait and FREAKING. THE OPP. HIMSELF. NICO. COMES IN RIGHT AFTER ME. as if i HAVENT SEEN HIM ENOUGH. like OK HEY. and my dad isn't here to protext me. so we BOTH GO TO THe DAMN DRUM SECTION and i DONT FREAKING KNOW WHERE THESE DAMN BRUSHES ARE because ive only been there ONCE IN MY LIFE to buy STICKS. so i go to sticks... exactly where HE IS... and IDK WHERE these damn brushes are so i look like a stupid idiot looking for these. so awkward. hes like "oh brushes r here" i go to the OPPOSITE END LIKE AN IDIOT. im like Oh Lol ive only been here once( like an IDIOT !!!)

this song is awesome. lovely piano (maybe me when i memeorize my damn scales ok go KYS!). spotify recommended. so fire. so obsessed with these patterns and moves and grooves and OH MAN samba is so fire i actually CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF IT RN!!!! thank you the internet and no one else. Sigh.

the lyrics are impossible to find anywhere? and i dont speak portuguese... but this song is SO FIRE. i feel like partying and dancing. my school is having a rio(the bird movie.. but we can pretend its the city) themed dance and so ive been so obsessed with brazillian dance samba?.. in hope asb will listen to me and play some at the dance. i even sent them a playlist Help.so awesome.

BY QUARTETO JOBIM MORELENBAUM

(a classic, but this version is my absolute favorite!)

*lyrics translated from Portuguese*

"Your love is rain,

my heart the flower

I need your love or I will die

My very life is in your power

Will I wither and fade or bloom to the sky?"

like.. i heard they spoke no english? Help. i dont even know any of them. im not even related to any of them... neither is anyone in my family.. something about my grandpa in law or something. but yeah.. apparently they have a 5 year old french girl sooo that seems like fun.. at my house.... until thursday.... yesssss.... maybe ill play them Cortex... they are french right...? idk. maybe im faking . or Naw. omg. idk how im supposed to live my whole life like this. WEEK then WEEKEND then WEEK then WEEKEND. everything feels the same and everything is blending together all into one and im so sick of it. but its like less than a month until my birthday. i still dont knwo what i will ask for... rhythm heaven megamix.. or project diva on the switch (for $40?? Jesus).... or an acoustic drum kit (but where wouuld i put it? but i want it so bad... i can practice in the garage... then i could play dem fancy stuff)... but then again i want to go camping or something.. but my dad was being weird about it (what so wrong with taking a trip to yosemite during spring break?... or even the giant sequoias... anything to get me INTO A FOREST PLEASEUH. give me a CHANGE this is too stagnant!!!!). well on the bright side i was allowed to drive ALONE for the FIRST TIME on saturday! with my license! im sooo happyyyy!!! i just drove to school for some boring volunteer thing but i DROVE with my LICENSE ALL ALONENENENEN!!!!!! i felt so awesome and cool. THIS MARKS A NEW POINT IN MY LIFE WHERE EVERYTHING IS AWESOME AND IM INDEPENDENT!!!! Pls. Pls. but my dad didn't let me drive alone to my lesson today... prolly cuz it was raining and theres an unprotected left turn (that i NAIL every time Thx Dad). so thats a really good thing. its all good really.

and im trying. SO. HARD. TO KEEP THE MINDSET. it was not bad for a while but now it ssucks cuz im on my period. but NOT. BAAAAAAD! i think. i hope. even though nico was being an opp today i don't really feel so bad. i was just exaggerating :3 but its true that im actually the most awkward person ever. but You live on I suppose. im going to ask to drive to youth groups on wednesday and hopefully it goes well. but youth groups isnt the same anymore.. my one friend smells bad and the other girls are way too christian they make everyone else feel dumb (please. one told me i cant say GOAT cuz its like the devil or something. HOP OFF and CALM DOWN.) so yeah. and im forgetting everyone too. on one hand its a good thing... but i feel really stupid because i dont remember the people i used to know like the back of my hand. i totally forgot someone who used to be really important to me the other day. and it scared me. i dont even rememebr her anymore. JEsus. freaks me out so bad. although i do think i just have the most horrible memory ever (COUGH me not MEMORIZING MY DAMN SCALES NICO.) and sometimes its good but sometimes its so frustrating. it makes me scared that there some really important event in my life that my brain completely forgot. well at leaast im a PROJECT SEKAI GOAT! are girls into that. Lesbians wya. PLEASE. im constnalty looking. but Naw. sigh one day. thank you. well i am going to go PRACTICE MY DAMN SCALES YOU FREAKING SICKO PERV NICO OH MY GOD HOP THE FREAK OFF. thanks everyone and i will catch you next week for another (hopefully less sickening) MONYAY!!!!!!!!!!

im super hard on myself about not being the person i want to be

but also everyone is!.. like seeing people on social media and comparing.. its normal right!

and that is sort of what social media is made for

comparing with friends!

i mean ive been SO obsessed with copying these random people

and everyone knows it... and everyone falls into the comparison trap

and in some ways , inspiration itself is good

but its never good enough and ill never be just exactly who i WANT to be

...if that makes sense!

and it makes me wonder if the people i want to be like also feel the same way!

i like this message i saw when i was on a trip to spain a lot!!

are they comparing too or is their lack of comparison what causes them to be so creative that people want to be them?

it translates to "please don't ask me not to be me"

i just think its super cool! well first of all i LOVE graffiti art.. its my favorite!

but i enjoy the message as well as the execution anyways....

and there is so much of it in spain, its insane

although being your own identity of a person is impossible..

and i tried making it my life motto since... kind of....

we are constantly copying others around us, whether we are conscious of it or not!

and i think thats awesome UNTIL it becomes a comparison...which ruins peoples lifes!!!!!!!

and i believe no matter how much i copy other people i will never ever reach who i want to be until i am happy with who i am right now

its always who i WANT to be, instead of who i am at THIS moment

ok.. enough of this... GOODNIGHT!

hey the internet....

its me brooke again!!

so im writing this..

i currently have nothing to do in history class..

because i accidentally did everything yesterday

this >>>>>>

is my american images project... i like it ithink

i think i maybe want to make collages on photoshop because this is kind of awesome!

although i have no time anymore for it...

no time for ANYTHING EVER!

<< i like this rhythm heaven screen.. i love rhythm heaven!

yesterday, i got hypnospace outlaw too!

hai!

new theme Who Dis. hello my monyayers! omg kraftwerk started playing im gonna Explode i luv dem. welp! i had NNOO SCHOOOL today and it was so Awesome. jk i kind of sat around and watched hermitcraft and danny gonzalez all day.. awkward.. but DESERVED omg i spent my whole weekend sat and sun doing school work morning to night no exaggeration. they were not lying about this year being tough. idk how im gonna make it Tbh. but whatever. its debrief time anyways soo. lesson today. Kingdontsurf. was HERE. ty. Sigh. im always so sweaty. and he's like consistently doing that thing where he sits like 2 freaking inches away bro calm DOWN JESUSSS. well i was doing freaking whatever triplet comping but with the kick and it SUCKS i wwas so nervous. i think im way better NOT in that darn classroom because of the Pressure. so i act like im worse than i am. LOL. like wut. like im focusing trying so hard. BUT ITS SO EMBARASSING to mes up. anyways i was Lowk struggling and it didn't sound even at all even. but Whatever. anyways my King isaac walked in and wuz like Hey Brookeee and i was like Omg Hai and he was like NICO JUST MAKING SURE UR GONNA SHOW HER THIS *shows thing on his phone*. and nico was like Yah i will dont you fret. and then he left. AND NICO GIVES A LOOK>??? and he SAID "hes trying to steal u from me because he knows ur a good student" WHATAAATTTT DA FRICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

awesome songs this week:

BY WHITE REAPER

"Fun in my head

Is this real or a dream instead?

This is where I wanna be'

Cause it's just way too fun to leave"

BY LIFE WITHOUT BUILDINGS

LOL. so basically i think i win!. Jk. Hah. anyways.. i do it and i suck but then hes like "well you know when my Pal isaac is doing (insert some complicated super hard drum word).. it doesnt sound perfect because its not lined up.. but its still Super Awesome and Impressive and Wow. and thats liek you". and like.. i dont think what i was doing was... even CLOSE to whatever that thing he was talking about.. so Maybe an over.. reaction? idk. but Thanks. i take what i can get. even though i nnKJFHKJFGHLKFJ. OK and then so we movevd onto combining kick and snare in comping with triplet and stuff IDK THE REAL WORDS and im Like 'omg i Liek trad grip now.. its easier" and he was like Oh Yeah how did u do it.. and i was like I looked up a tutorial. and he was like SHOW ME. (JESUS CHRIT). and im like sweating shaking and hes like "y ur hands r shaking Lol" HELPPPPPP WUT DA HECK. and so i show him and he GRABS MY FFREAING HAND AAGAIN CALM DOWN. not rly. but hewas like Yah dats good. but anyways backstory i ate a whole bag of xtra spicy hot cheetos yesterday and they stained my fingers red and i HATE THAT. and i was FREAKING OUT because i was like Omg hes gonna see my nnasty fingers even worse now. but i scrubbed in the shower. so problem averted. BUT STILL. anyways i was like "its a lot of pressure Haha". WTF.

BY P.H.F

WHO SAYS THAT. and why am i ALWAYS SHAKING? Jeussus Christ. well i was fact speakin'. trad grip Feels cool but also like i think im better doinfg triplets or WHatevr. and he was like Yah ur better with trad grip i can tell! and i was like Aw Thx >_<<. well anyways i learned Crazy things. (we just combined kick and snare with the triplet comping thing). and i was Okay. i like practinc that Stuxfx. and being good later. and then i don't evnen know what i learned it was like triplet 16th stuff Da frick i dont know. but Trying my best. and it was ok.. i need to get better at not zoning out at people talking about things i think it's my worst trait. i habe suchh a hard time keeping attenion at that stuff. i need to see it. tto get it. maybbee.. idk. well we moved to my Dreaded. Piano. that i avoided for like two weeks because COMPING :CRY EMOJI:. and like Broooooke. god idk waht it is. with my comprehension. but i SUCK AT MEMORIZING CHORD INVERSIONS and SCALE STUFF. god. like SUCK SUCK. and like. EVERYONE knows that. Sigh. well we did Not jump straight into comping and Took it slow which was sooo much better. and i think i got it the most ive ever gotten it! so i think i will not avoid mmy piano this week. but im so impatient. sitting there an inverting a chord for 10 minutes is SO BORING!!!! ill try my best. well anyway he told me to like visit my schools and talk to da jazz band room but that sounds terrifying.

"If I rewind my baby

If I rewind, rhythm and knowledge, get

I rewind my baby

Every color of you"

my best jazz finds this week:

BY DIZZY GILLESPIE (COVER)

and also the tning isac was talking about was this like Teen music night or something where Teens come and play music.. it wasnt a jazz thing jsut a Thing. but i think i will go.. its kinda far though. maybe ill invite my Biffle Bae to come with. heeheheehe :3. but he was like Yeah i can try and u could play stuff.. which is WAY outside my comfort zone so idk but its on march 1. so proabbly not. i kinda wanna go just for the nice community or whatever. get out there. meet people. try something new. maybe there waill be a Cool lesbian musician girl . PLEASE. PLEASE. UGHHHHHHH. well anyways. thats it. OH and LOOL like a couple weeks ago i had to back out when leaving wahetevr and my CAR WAS PARKED NEXT TO KINGDONTSURF. and i was so scared. and today he was like Haha i saw you backing out Lol hows dat permit. and i was like i GOT MY LICENSE! and he was like "Oh yeah do u know what to do when you HYDROPLANE?" and i was like.. Idk waht hydroplaning is. and he told me. LOLLL.. ok that was it today. in what happened. anyways. the absolute LOVE of my LIFE made this new playlist with some Fire Beats that i love and im SO MAD SHE HAS A GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE OH MY GOD. she is SO COOL. and her girlfriend. IS EVIL AND HORRIBLE (im not joking. shess actually a weird person). and im so SICK of seeing them together. I NEED HER SOOO BAD. ONLY I CAN UNDERSTAND HER AND HER SOFICISITICATEDNESS! i Hate lesbians. is it weird if im liking her playlists or Naw. well she followed me back on spotify so. but she BLOCKED ME FROM HER STORY on main. but whatevr. idc. im playing the long game and waiting for her and her STUPID MEAN girlfriend to breakup. JUST YOU WAIT. sigh. OMG i just spotted my biffle bae listneing to my FAVE mils davis song on spotify im about to Bust. i love it.

"Walk round this fucking town

I like when you're not around

I hate when you call

I don't want nothing from you at all"

BY CHARLIE PARKER

A CLASSIC! but so. so. GOOD! OH M OGOODDDD it scratches every itch i cant even describe it. reminds me of when i was obsessed with darcy lynn and that. but now its in like.. a different way. hits JUST AS HARD!!! Luv u charchar.

the drums in this song is so FIRE. specifically in this version! i THINK its with brushes which is SOOO COOLLLLL wat da frick.. idk dont quote me on that. BUT it is sooooo awesoMMEE oh mah god i found isaac's spotify because Obvi i did and Ty he put me onto this Banger on one of his playlistss.. my BOSS(a nova)

so Fire. yayy. dude. school is genuinely making me so crazy im gonna lose it. i have nonstop homework every night the only option i have is to grindddddddd. and freaking envirothon meetings are gonna start meeting AFTERSCHOOL UNTIL 6:30 THREE TIMES A WEEKUHHHH. oh mtn GBOODSSdsd im gonna lose it. i love you envirothon. but Jesus. Chrsist. im gonna lose my mind. ap seminar grind is insane and so stressful. idk how im gonna have time to be normal. even this 3 DAY WEEKEND i barely have time. dude. every week is just passing and passing now. its like theres no end. week then weekend week then weekend. idk what changed but its so much and so so mcuh. im FOR REAL IN PURGATORY oh naw. i wish i was able to do cool productive things like go out and take pics or maybe collage or even read but oh man. Ohhh Mannn. it. is tough. to stay motivated. ive been trying sooooooo hard to keep the mindset but life and everything is so overwhelming i can barely just stop to breathe for a second!!! in EVERYTING! asb is insane. speaking of... applications are opening and i think i am going to EXPLODE. because idk if someone is gonna go against me for historian and im so scared im gonna pee everywhere genuinely PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET NO ONE GO AGAINST ME PLEASE LET EVERYONE BE AFRAID OF ME. this is the BIGGEST deal of my life. and Jesus God. if ssome first year freaking newbie beats me for historian because shes a popular girl cheerleader i'll genuinely. Eye. Twitch. Trying. SO. Hard. but election results come out on my BIRTHDAY oh HECK NAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

well i think my passion is watching what people are listening to on spotify... its so fun. like i know.. what ur doing rn. HeHe. OMG also i applied to TWO SUMMER INTERNSHIPS THIS WEEKEND!! so i feel decently accomplished like YAY !!! i hope i get accepted into the ycc yellowstone one. because i want to live in a secluded forest for a month without my phone, hours and hours away from.. everyone i know.. that CRAZY!!! but so awesome. PLEASE ACCEPT ME!!! well. i conclude this monyay pondering the question: WHY IS CHET BAKER BANNED? I NEED TO KNOW RIGHT NOW. but maybe i will never know. thanks all my monyayers for making this monyay possible. love and hearts and kisses to all you on the internetzzies :3

good evening the internet! annnd i wish you a......

song this week goes to!

BY DETOXI

YAY! finally it is monyay and we have a whole week ahead of us. trying to stay so excited... like its valentines day! im super excited :3 i am gonna hangout with my two BIFFLES and also go to youth groups... :3 which is awesome.. im so exctied! ohhh Man. okk. i had a substitue teacher today in my music lesssons!! no Kingdontsurf... Sigh. jk. it was actually so aweosme. i had this guy named isaac as my teacher and he was super cool! he was super chill so i felt comfortable to like talk and stuff (cough NATE THE FREAK cough. i hate seeing him.). welp! i liked this guy isaac a loottt! i like how he viewed things.. it was cool. also he explained things good. like... he explained music like it was a sentence and every little measure you play is a word! and i was like Wow mind blown dats awesome! and he was funny.. he taught me like listening and copying things and Ugh. right after i got good at reading sheet music BAM hes telling me NOT TO read sheet music Ugh. but i did good i think. and he taught me techniques for hitting the kick faster... and he taught me better than the youtube videos i watched! it was pretty awesome. and also he said that Nico told him ALL about me. and that FREAKED ME OUT. when people say that ITS SO SCARY!?? "oh ya ive heard ALL about you".. WHAT DO YOU MEAN.

"Bring the world together, only to tear it apart. Document the moment, thought it'd make great art. Testify to no one, the message is so clear. The ones you choose to lead you are the ones that you should fear"

song this week goes to!

BY DETOXI

like thats genuinely terrifying. but he was like Yah he said he thought u were Supa Cool and Sick cuz its cool u r interested jaz. (not quoted. something like that..). and i was like Hah. yay. Thanks. welll.. anyways. he taught me. he also like started to sing in cursive??? it was funny... like he was singing along to his favorite song (satin doll.. IDK WHICH VERSION THOUGH IM TRYING TO FIND IT BUT I CANT.) but in CURSIVE? LOL. muscians. sooo..funny.. well anyways. he also started like yelling lowkey like he kept on brininging out freaking satin doll as an example and he like yelled YEP LETS BRING BACK SATIN DOLL HAHAHA. ok king i think i know ur fave song. but overall he was great! and he also tuaght me things i already knew.. but he didn't know that so Meh. BRO DID NOT HELP ME FREAKING COMP ON THE STUPID PIANO. oh my GOD. this WHOLE week i have been freaking the freak out because i don't freaking know how to comp and nico told me to practice comping. Eye Twitch. it got so bad this past week i was jsut staring at those STUPID papers all like. bro. WtaFRICK DO I DO. IM IN HWLL. and i was so scared for today because i was gonna show up with NOTHING TO SHOW FOR. NO COMPING. just sadness and a lack of ability to comprehend any jazz theory. but NO i had a SUB. so it was 1. relieving that i didn't have to go through the sadness of going to class not being able to do what he told me to practice. but also 2. NOW I HAVE TO SEE NICO NEXT WEEK AND STILL NOT KNOW HOW TO COMP. and itll be WORSE cuz i had MORE TIME. and ISAAC DIDN"T EVEN HELP ME. he taught me fifths and stuff. BRO. (it was good stuff tho. thx.)

"And in leather, lace and chains, we stake our claim. Revolution once again. No I won't, I won't wear it on my sleeve. I can see through this expression and you know I don't believe. Too old to be told, exactly who are you? Tonight, tomorrow's too late"

"I heard a sigh up in the sky.

Coming from Jupiter or Venus;

Is it a warning out of love

Or planets trying to defeat us?"

another song obsession:

BY U2

BY CORTEX

OMG but also isaac was like Omg btw if i know any jazz shows that aren't 21+ and not super late i will totally send the info ur way!! and i was like Omg No Way. SO AWESEOME. THANKS!!! well anyways. Here's to ANOTHER WEEK of being stressed out about comping on the piano. idk waht it is. im pretty confident i can comp in the drums more or less. but idk. i think i suck at my scales. Thanks a lot. UGH. I WATCHED YOUTUBE TUTORITALS AND EVERYTHING. but Naw. so embarassing bro. UGH. it okay i will power. on. and maybe try really hard this wekk. but im really stressed out.. i have so much work in school its insane. how do i only have three academic classes and school is this hard? im so freaked out. and i have NO TRUST in ANY group work oh my god EVERYONE LETS ME DOWN. or maybe im just a control freak. but bro... i have a AP seminar presentation.. and im SO scared of these two girls in my group because i read their individual essays and.... Yeah. im so scared. and this is gonna count towards my AP SCORE. Bro. Praying me and my good Pal other group member (Hai :3) will be able to make it good.. i just have no trust. and ASB oh my GOD NOBODY IN THERE KNOWS HOW TO DO ANYTHING and i have to DO EVERYTHING MYSELF!! and i get NO CREDIT cuz no one in there LIKes MEEE. Sigh. Naw... i got to stay pawsitive. i am just frustrated. but idk. u learn. and u live. and im Livin. and Learnin. yis. YAY! and it will pass..!!! :D PLS BROOKE KEEP THE MINDSET.

oh man. my eyes are burning and i need to sleep. but i have SO MANY THOUGHTS TODAAYAYYY. do u think i write too much words.. Brah. DUDE my earring fell out of my ear and now im earring-less. shoutout to my glorious biffle af to lending me ur one earring.. out of ur ear.. for like 4 hours. also today my little cousin called me (hes like 10) and we played aninmal crossing together he is SOOO CUUTTEEE!!!i love him so much! i showed him my island (that i haven't logged into in 2 years and 3 months) and he was really impressed and Jelly. Haha He mad im Gud (hes 10. and his island is poorly decorated... sucker.) JK. i gave him 4 million bells because i love him and he likes fnaf. my glorious king. i was like him that age except i liked warrior cats and was on amino. he has WAY too much internet access for being 10. but Yk thats just how it Be. omg also. i kinda realized.. i feel like i live under a FREAKING ROCK. oh my GOD. i was on call with this group of people i dont RLY talk to but for some reason they invited me to their minecraft server and im like idk branching out and Bro. i swear to god i live under a rock because i do not know how to talk to people like that. all Da References. and IDK WHAT EVEN. im just so glad im not a man. who's Weird. but actually it was interesting getting different perspecitves of people yk? i feel like i honestly only talk to my two friends ever so i was like wow these people are sooooooo different.... than them... Yeah. but like. im glad i have my 2 friends. because. i like how they are.. and how they act.. i got lucky I Think. im glad they r the peeps i ended up with in the end!

honestly i have no idea if the intrument in this song is a xylaphone or a vibraphone or another type of phone but i LOVE THIS INSTRUMENT SOUND it it soooo nice and happy and it just makes u feel so happy. im like HeHeHe when im listening to dis. my eyes r burnign Bro wtf.

oh my GOSHSH this song is SOO FIRE all 10 minutes and 3 seconds bro. even though the alvum cover is kinda funny. i Luv dis song. i feel liek im in black in white and like a detective solving a crime or soemthing. if that doesnt sound silly.. Hah.

my jazz faves dis week!!!!

BY LIONEL HAMPTON

BY STANLEY TURRENTINE

i also love my sister so much! and my sister is living out MY FREKAING LESBIAN DREAMS. OH MY GOD. iM so SICK. she is like DATING A GIRL RN (her first girl shes ever dated!??!) HELLO? this is NOT real. 2024. WOW. and THIS GIRL SOUNDS SOOO COOL shes a lesbian and so cool and LIKES MY SISTER??? DA FRICK. and she got her flowers and pays for her meals and all that and i cant rly tell if my sister rly likes her. Talking from experience a girls first romantic thing with a girl that came from my Fam is Ussually Not Good and usually pretty bad for the other person. and im scared of that happening to my sister but maybe im just projecting and shes older and such. but Yk. it's scary. but im glad me and my sister can relate on some levels in that way. it's nice knowing we have the same experiences in terms of family and likke. Idk. You know. she came home this weekend and told me abt her new girl date btw. but now shes back in college. I miss her. but im also scared of her... theres somethign about her.. shes super go with the flow. idk. its intersting and idk if i can explain it here. anywayssssss. i played poppy playtime yesrtday and i was so scared. i want to watch the walten files but SOMEONE doesnt wanna watch it with me and i know if i ask my otehr friend she wont want to either.Brah. WOAH you can bold text on here??? thats cool. AND ITALICS? Awesome. also btw i figured out how to hold a stick traditionally and i think i WIN! and its way easier and its cool.. its kinda like holding chopsticks except its a giant thick drumstick and its only one. kinda. Lol. I WIN!

well my glorious multiverse i am literally about to fall asleep and i have to SHOWER IN THE MORNING. so. here's to another amazing monyay! and here's to this next week being so AMAZING! and here's to me watching the etho video soon becasue i had no time today :(((( i love you all on the internet :3

(they are friendly!!!)

haiyoooooo the internet!!!!!!

by OF MONTREAL

it is me. Brooke. again. Hmm. just Chillin!

and maybe its because im a lesbian (my favoeite excuse) that is why i don't get the ""hate ur ex"" thing. and also all the friends she was talking to.. like.. its not weird to still follow me!?? i still consider those people my friends and i would 100% wave or say hi.. but i just know they would make it some weird thing like "ohh omg -'s EX just WAVED! what a weirdo!" i get supporting your friends and all thaat and i know breakups are weird things. but i think we as a world make them weirder than they should be. especially when there was no like Horrible Peoeple involved.. just two people that didn't work together. so it sucks to hear that they are talking about me like that. i think that regret is a silly thing and the world focuses on the past too much and changing it and all too much to realize the lessons that are learned from them! you are giving too much power to something uncontrollable, so why not try to make it the best u can?

bro. im freaking trying to learn STUPID JAZZ SCALES!! on this DARN PIANO!!! but its SO HARD!!! what da FRICK is a lydian dominant diminished whatever I DONT EVEN KNOW!!!! its like im trying to be taught but i cant REMEMBER anything cause theres so much and im soooo frusterated bro. i dont think im cut out for this i was failed when i was only taught major and minor (the weird kind! NOT EVEN THE NORMAL MINOR KIND!) scales for 10 years. Bro. now i just feel like everything is like 10 times harder to comprehend and ill never get it like i wasnt made for this!!! im watching youtube videos and reading in between the freaking lilnes of these worksheets and nothing is clicking. i think ive spent too long blaming the teacher and it's time to blame myself for being BADDDD! comping is so hard and i cant even start anything! im DONE FOR!! DONE FOR!!! but i will try.. and persist.. one day ill be good hopefully. Trying Trying Trying.

by THAT DOG.

i think hating ur ex is dumb in that circumstance! i mean idk!! my ex Girlf did some bad things to me and im sure i did some bad things to them, too, but i don't think it was on a level where we need to hate eachother? i was the one to break up with her and like.. it just didn't work out.. we had kind of gotten to a toxic level that was bad for both of us. i hold zero hatred or resentment or regret towards them at all! in fact, i would love to still talk to them!but no, theres this weird stigma whatever on "ohh shes ur ex.. lets all HATE HER GUTS and UNFOLLOW HER because she SUCKS and shes ur EX!" its dumb! and i know she has that towards me and all her friends too. LIKE once i was trying to be friendly when i bumped into her & waved at her!(NORMAL? THAT NOT EVEN WEIRD). and she gave me the nastiest look i've ever recieved. like bro! we used to be like. best friends! its been 3 months! why the hate?

welp. today my friend told me that she overheard my ex girlf and also my ex biffle talking about me with their friends during lunch. Sigh. she said that they were talking to their other friends abt how they still follow me and i post or say weird things or something idk (she said she couldnt catch mostly of what they were saying since it was loud). Sigh. i think that the whole whatever modern culture of exes is so dumb! and i dont think its that deep. i mean yeah, if someone is an awful horrible person obviously thats valid to hate them if they r ur ex or if some nasty drama happened. im talking about when its like.. more chill.. when u just don't work out because it doesnt! doesnt mean anyone is a bad person, it just doesnt work! and even in those situations people STILL make it all weird!!

by MGMT

maybe in the past (haha ironic) i would say i have regrets... but looking back on it (ok ironic again), i think every decision in my life has led up to THIS MOMENT and the lessons ive learned from past mistakes are so much more important than me never making those mistakes at all. and i know its been said before.. i just think its really important bc ive been watching so many people have so much regret for things that r unchangeable. or even like... attaching regret to objects and pictures and music! i know there are exceptions to this, and this is me having an OVERLY positive view on it, but ive never really gotten the like "oh i cant lsiten to this song" or "i have to throw everything they gave me out" cuz it reiminds u of whatever person. like idk embrace it! we focus SO MUCH on the bad memories that we forget the good ones. be sad they are no longer here but embrace the fun timez. i think. this is coming from a girl that still sleeps with the weighted plush my ex Girlf gave me (on the week that my cat died and i could barely get out of bed or do anything. so it meant a lot to me!) every night. and it doesnt bother me..... idk. might be because i tend to forget a lot of stuff in the past, so it kinda just feels like blurry far away good memories to me that i can barely remember. maybe. Sigh.

Bro no one shouldve given me access to this site. my oversharing powers have like multiplied by 50 billion. Sigh. YOLO i suppose. and im aware of how silly todays thoughts are and how theres so many more layers to it that i didn't say.. but its ok. ive been on such a thought journey this past couple of months.. i dont think ive ever thought this hard about the world and myself in it this hard EVER. Brah. well Hit dat like button and Smash Subscribe and Turn on notifs ty Baiiiiii. :3

good evening my lovely friends ! :3

BY MILES DAVIS QUINTET

BY JOHN COLTRANE

BY MGMT

yay! monyay! this monyay came fast. i didnt go to school today because the rainstorm is actually insane dude! and like nobody went to school... Lol! well anyways. it was monyay as always. as always i am humbled in my musical knowledge and have to think super hard to play basic paino things. but its kinda aweosme. but i have NO IDEA what my guy was asking me to practice.. Comping... i love..that word.. (i am so terrified of actual improvising so im gonna pretend that is not basically what he asked me to do. I HATE IMPROV. something about having the pressure of having it all be up to me is terrifying. i dont trust myself to ACTUALLy come up with something good.. sigh.. but this is literally what i signed up for. literally all jazz is... is improv basically.. like Bro. Deal with it. i need to trust in myself.. but while someone is watching is Omg.)

well. its all good fun. maybe i will Shoot him an Email and ask Pls help idk wut da frick to do Omg. ok how the hek is anyone supposed to help music through email.. BRah.. well idk. well see. but its hard. and i SUCKKKKK. Yolo tho. i live on the edge. welp.... i drummded and i WASNT super.. horrible. kinda. i played Puh-guh-duhs (i like that word but i jsut looked it up and apprently its puh-duh-duh... puh-guh-duh is better. Nico On Top.) and i sucked kinda. but im trying my best. but you know what? its SO.DAMN. HOT. in thaat DANG STUDIO. i am literally sweating the moment i walk in there. REGARDLESS OF THE WEATHER!! and today it was SOO BAD bbecause idk apparently im so tense *crying emoji* and he was like okkk... i will teach u traditional stick grip method.. just so u know. :3 and i was like Oki. and then ensued the WORST like 3 minutes of my LIFE. ok traidtional drumstick grip is the DUMBEST THING EVER IN THE STUPID WORLD I TELL YOU! omg. its like holding a thick freaking stick like a pencil but not. and let me tell you i have the most embarassing worst HANDS to ever exist as dumb as it sounds LOL.... like. its so horrible... im always so embare

"and then it's 3am i'm on the corner wearing my leather and this dude comes up to me and says 'hey punk' i'm like, yeah, whatever"

currently insanely obsessed with this song i need it like injected in me. the piano and the horns together is so beautiful its indescribable. ty nico for pmo. as always....

"i'm not that nice! i'm mean and i'm evil! don't call me nice! i'm gonna eat your heart out! i've got some work to do!"

guess who pmo..

idk what it is but this song is just so cute to me its like the horns are having a little conversation!!! like i can HEAR them just chatting! they r just little guys.. so adorable!.. Song creds Nico.

my fingers r like weirdly stupidly short. *CRY EMOJI* IDK WHY THEY R SO NOT NORMAL. and then i have freaking idk dermatilliamaniaWhatever sso my fingers are always all scabbed and they bleed like every other day and its so Awful and EMBARASSING. ok those two. PLUS. my hands were SOOOOOOOO SWEATY in that STUPID room im like actually dying in there. and i have to LEARN THIS STUPID STICK GRIP AND ITS SO HARD. WHO TF CAME UP WITH THIS? so im like laughign cuz i suck and this stupid stick is like falling out fo my hand cuz its so sweaty and my FREAKING NICDONTSURF starts grabiing my hand and ADJSUTING IT like 10 TIMES BROOO i actually wanted to die right there. bro is touching at my sweaty short scabbed up hand and i like can't hold this stupid stick right and i kept just laughing awkwardly cuz i suck. and also i dont think i can even recreate that stupid grip. without.. flashbacks. i was so embarased. (not really. just caught off gaurd didnt think we'd be freaking holding hands today bro. Chillax.) LOL. well anyways. he did say to me and i qUOTE! "brooke i am very impressed!" when i Comped. like triplet.. things.. idk what the words are. BUT I THINK I WIN! HES IMPRESSED!

BY LIAM LYNCH

YAY! it all pays off. i think right now this is a really awesome and fun interest. that im obsessed with rn! andi like my interests. like rhythm heaven and hermitcraft. i love them too much. :3 well.. anyway. i can see myself improving a lot! i think it's really cool to subconsciously improve in things... like one day you can't do something and then you try it again a while later and suddenly you can magically DO IT! it is such a good feeling. that happened to me! i can play so many faster songs i couldn't play (and tried to) before just because i have improved! and like oh man. going through constant change is just such an awesome thing, and im glad i have control of myself and my actions... lol.... if that sounds silly.. :3 i can now play some of my fave heavenly songs! and i can play becky by byop SO GOOD! my mom gifted me this amazing victorian style sticker book today and im rly excited about it! luv stickers!! i decorated my folders and such. HeHe. i don't want to go out in the rain tomorrow to school... literally the leader guy declared a STATE OF EMERGENCY but Whatever. at least i get to see all my buddies! Yippee! Love Those Guys.

song of da night

well i appreciate all my monyay fans (me) for tuning in this monyay. id say this was a pretty great monyay! again.. this has kindof just turned into a music progress report//music blog//idk. but Ya know i go where the wind take me (I SUPPOSE! IIIII SUPPOSE HEY!!!!!!) Stay tuned for more amazing posts this week by Me. maybe. if i have time. and motivation! i love you all on the internet :3c

i read an article in my ap seminar class about moral courage and intelligent disobedience. for those who don't know, moral courage is defined as "the ability to stand up for and practice that which one considers ethical, moral behavior when faced with a dilemma, even if it means going against countervailing pressure to do otherwise". and obviously i had to think really hard about it because that's Who i be.

anyways, i think the universe just tested me on my moral courage and i think i just failed. and i think it was really stupid, and i don't even know why i tried so hard to argue my point. it was something super trivial like unfollowing my friends ex, except he did nothing wrong, and the breakup only had to do with her just not liking him like that. for some reason, this situation really stuck with me because the way it happened she had accepted that she is mean and toxic without making the effort not to be, so she made no efforts at all for this guy. i think there is a lot of factors that go into it, the way love is shown in your life, and we are two opposite people, especially in terms of our family, and i understand that, and i do not want to put her down for how she acts, because if anyone has a valid reason to act the way she does, she does.

well, she asked me to unfollow this guy. and idk what is wrong with me but i said no, there was no good reason too, guy did nothing wrong, it doesn't really matter since there was no harm done. he did not wrong her at all (except maybe have bad breath and also be unattractive in her eyes).

she got really mad and a whole argument ensued. what is the line between me being a good and loyal friend and me wanting to obey what i consider ethical and moral? since the initial day, i had a whole moral crisis where i there on decided if i can make the conscious effort to be a good person, i will. and i am not saying i have not been hateful or done bad things, because i definitely have and i definitely will in the future. but i want to give what i got to be nice i guess. i think especially now there is endless hate in the world, and i want to do what i can i guess. what i'm saying is, i made the rule for myself that if i can make the conscious decision to be good (although, good is a subjective term. by this, i mean ethically good in MY eyes), i will always choose the good option, even if it is the harder one. and i think i sound kind of pretentious and annoying saying that. this is kind of like another ap seminar article i read that was about like if you announce to other people that you are a virtuous person, does that really make you a truly virtuous person if you are only doing it for the validation of others? ap seminar makes me think too hard i think. Oh Man.

well anyways. i think my moral courage was tested tonight! its interesting seeing concepts you read about play out in real life. i felt it was my duty and the most ethical and moral choice to not unfollow this poor guy (it sounds so silly writing this out!). but my friend argued that it makes me a bad friend, and if i won't do this for her, i won't do anything else for her, especially considering she would undoubtedly do it for me. well, i stood my ground for so long. i like, tested the effects of moral courage. and (eventually, after arguing for like an hour and after she called me a bad friend and threatened to never talk to me again) i decided i did not want to deal with the consequences of this moral courage. so i failed. i broke my own rules and i was not morally courageous. and i know it sounds so dumb over what the topic was, but i think it is a lot deeper than whatever unfollowing a guy or not.

and maybe, by doing what i did, i was doing "good" in a different way. a lot of people argue loyalty versus morality. and i think i stand a lot more on the morality end of that spectrum. i have endless love for the people in my life, but i think maybe my morals often stand above that. however, that particular friend is extremely loyal, and i really value that about her. i think she is honestly one of the most loyal people i know and have. she once told me that i could be a horrible person to everyone around me, but she would still stand with me and support me. and that really stuck with me, because would i do the same? and i think the answer to that is really interesting, because i think it is more complicated than a yes or a no. i really value that friend, especially considering her loyalty. and i think that oftentimes, she does (honestly) a LOT of things that disagree with my morals. and they DO bother me a lot. but i will never do or say anything because her loyalty is something i value so much that those things do not matter to me, and i would stay loyal to her regardless of what she does. however, with maybe someone else, i would keep my morals above that and value morals more than my loyalties to that person. so i suppose for me, loyalty versus morals depends on the person, and it is not one-size-fits-all for me i guess.

so maybe i failed the moral courage test that the universe gave me, but i think i also learned that some fights are just not worth fighting when you have something (or someone) so important and rare at stake. someone that would do anything for me regardless of the morality of it.

although, i do think that right now, (especially since i am this age) my morals still are not straight and i do not have them all figured out, because i am a constant work in progress! i used to think i never knew the difference between right and wrong, and i think i've come pretty far since then maybe.

this was kind of a long and silly ramble... the universe should not have given me the ability to think about concepts like this because i get so in my head! Ta Ta for Now!

MAGGOT BY SLUTEVER

NOTHING CAN STOP ME

BY HEAVENS TO BETSY

its monyay! Yippee! im trying a new font cuz i saw other people using it and i was like Dis Is a lit font Holdup. but its kinda big. idk we will see. well anyway. i am so super stressed this week! but also its kind of my fault for doing nothing but play rhythm heaven all weekend... Awkward. i love rhythm heaven. and im so Friggin GOATEEDDDD at it! i almost completely beat the DS version!!! i have 46/50 perfects.... and the 4 i dont have perfected are freaking rhythm rally 1 & 2 and fill bots 1 & 2. BECAUSE THEY FREAKING SUCK AND ARE SO HARD! its ok one day. and i got all 50 medals in fever! but its rly hard to perfect anything on the wii.. i will grind it out one day....

bello the internet and...

"I'll get revenge. Pour bleach on your head, and now you're dead. Disinfect, so hold your breath and say goodbye!!!!!"

like idk. youd think after playing the piano for so long that i would be good and know how to like idk KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MAJOR AND MINOR and know chords and scales. and know terms. but NO! i feel like ive been failed my whole life! what was i doing for 10+ years? its like they never cared about actually teaching me the instrument, but only cared about me passing my exams and getting the diploma so they could kick me out. makes me sad and like i wasted that time. but idk i gotta remind myself to enjoy the process. like i said last week! i got my period this weekend so i was especially moody. so keeping the mindset was hard... but i think i will manage! and i am still feeling happy. despite the immense amount of schoolwork i am currently procrastinating on. i have to stay consistent in SOMETHING. and that something will be these monyay posts!

TENOR MADNESS BY

anyways! im so tired rn but i have to grind out this monyay post for all my monyay fans (there are none its actually just me). i had my class thing tofay and it was so wierd my teacher nico was so out of it and he was like Yah i cant stop thinking about food. also Funny Moment he was referencing like an imaginary bass player in some jazz scenario to teach something and was using he him pronoun for this imaginary guy and HE GOES like "or she! Equal.. rights... Haha" LOLLLL that is too much what a Woke Hip Af king. maybe it was the lesiban bracelet i had on that made him Woke. also he called people that count triplets like 1 da da or seomthing freaks and i thought that was quite funny. althghough it is quite the embarassing that i really suck at the piano. and i messed up my freaking bossa nova too. like come on!

"but if you think that i'm not strong, you best watch out! nothing can stop me!!!!"

no lyrics but beautiful! im learning this on the piano right now. thx nico for PMO.

SONNY ROLLINS QUARTET

RIO BY QUARTETO DO RIO

lyrics in portuguese i think. idk much about bossa nova but i do know this song gives me the chills when i listen!

this has kind of turned into a music blog tbh. since im alwyas posting on monyays. idk i guess thats just where the wind is taking me! and music has been especially relavent in my life. i feel honestly very happy with where i am right now and who ive become. like ive accepted things that used to bother me soo much and i like to be ME now! i used to say that i would rather be anyone else but me, but i dont think that is true anymore. i like being me now! and that is so awesome!! hey! hermitcraft season 10 likely starting this week im SO excited you dont even know. and tmrw is percy jackson day! so much to be excited for despite it all!!! i LOVE being excited! liike monyays! and it all! ive been sleeping in my sisters room every night. idk if thats because i miss her or because her bed is comfy but its nice. i do miss her a lot!! my birthday is coming up and i dont know what i will ask for. maybe an acoustic drum set. or rhythm heaven megamix! i want to ask for something more meaningful than clothes i think...

i cant believe i will be 17! thats kind of a big number. i am excited though... im almost off in college! i love the future because i will never know what is in it :3c. im so sleepy i am falling asleep here oh no! i have a presentation tomorrow TvT... and a ton of work. i wish i never had to sleep so i can have some time!!! Sighh. at least i get to sleep in tomorrow. and i will enjoy the process. im liking writing my ap seminar essay right now. i feel cool and professional writing a research paper like that and proud when i read it back. and then i write essays in other classes and im like Wow i can actually write! you know, i think this is the first time in like idk 4 years that ive felt good when i am alone. its the MONYAY MAGIC!!!!!! LOL!!!! anyways.... i might post more this week but im super tired right now and i need to sleep or ill die i think. love you all on the internet and ty for whoever reads these :3 HUGS AND KISSES 4EVER!

Here is my song!

for YOU!

yeaaahhh that's RIGHT!

I wish that..........

But i'm too shy I suppose!

( I SUPPOSE, HEY!)

Hey now!

yeah! yeah! yeah!

If only I could just CONJURE a SPELL!

then YOU and I can be....

for all time, i suppose!

( I SUPPOSE, HEY!)

IS IT

THAT MAKES MY HEART GO...

LOVE

everyone. watch the video of her singing this RIGHT NOW!!! spreading the rhythm heaven propaganda!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNbvktlB0gU <--- THE LINK CLICK HERE!!!!!

all da pics from Pinterest...

by Lush!

hAhahHaha Not today though.

song(S?) of the hour::::

although no really (un)interesting story this Monyay! ohhh Yeaaahhhh!!!!!!!! just some thoughts! i stayed home from school today so i had lotsssssss of time to THINK!!!! i had my first ONE HOUR freaking piano drum lesson of my GOD i dont tink ive ever had to think so hard in my life why is everything so HARD!!! i can be sooo confident but Naw at the day i kind of suck but you know what?!??! ITS SO FUN BEING BAD!!!!

like i dunno im really enjoying the process!! of LEARNING!! GOD. i think ive just recenrlty discovered the wonders of LEARNING. like i dont know theres just soooo much knowledge out there that i dont know and the prospect of having the opportunity to LEARN EVERYTHING is just so IDK. AWESOME! as stupid as it sounds LOLLLL.....

like omg. ive been playing piano my WHOLE life. since i was FIVE! and i just think its insane beacuse i may have been doing all that but truly ive only scratched the SURFACE! liike. i know NOTHING? its AWESOME!!! theres a WHOLE WORLD OUT THERE FOR ME TO LEARN! todaay my Guy was teaching me all this stuff... im kinda getting into jazz piano because, again, its a WHOLE NEW WORLD i know NOTHING ABOUT, and isnt that just so cool! anyways, he is teaching me jazz stuff and theory words. who the heck knows what Dorian and Mixolydian mean??? I DO NOW!! SINCE TODAY!

and oh MAN isnt that just so exciting. and its so HARD and im SO BAD but thats what PRACTICE IS FOR!!!!!!! and i learned BOSSA NOVA on the DRUMS?? HELLO ISNT THAT SOOO COOL??? I KNOW BOSSA NOVA NOW??? have i ever listened to bossa nova before today? HELL NO!!!! BUT NOW I HAVE!!!!!! GOD LIFE IS JUST SO AWESOME!!!! ive been feeling jsut soooo HAPPY recently!! like things are for real falling into place!!!!!!! and im sooooo ^_^!!!!!!

and oh have i been thinking. also my teacher gave me his SPOTIFY!!! which first of all he has given me way too much power i am going to be a terrible person but also HIS SPOTIFY IS SOOO COOL he has so many playlists to listen!! and also he MADE ME A JAZZ PLAYLIST?? oh my GOD!! sillys aside he cares SOO MUCH about music. like i can tell it is his passion and he cares genuinely about me learning it too and i think that is so awesome and i think that is what sets him apart! truly! idk. i just feel like ive started viewing EVERYTHING DIFFERENT NOW!!!!! music is just SO SPECIAL. its insane. i just truly think its the most beautiful art form. and its ALWAYS EXPANDING. there are ALWAYS new ideas! like god i LOVE weird and different sounding music.

obligatory monyay post! one day ill be normal i swear

by excuse 17!!!!

and maybe its cause i kidna grew up in a closed minded typa family who only listens to the poppular things (and hates on rap...) , but its amazing how much is our there. and i think i had a mental block where like. if it kinda sounds weird or bad... then its bad music. but idk. i think once everyone gets past the mind block of it sounding bad, it sounds SOOO GOOODD! genuinely. weird screamy or odd chords are so amazing and just so different. i LOVE hearing new sounds ive never heard. and theres so much out there that i havent heard and i wanna listen to it all! and maybe thats why i hate on rly popular music (sigh im sorry i sound so annoying.), not because the music itself is bad, but just because weve all heard it before! its not different sounding! and THATS why i dont like it i guess. to me it just feels so shallow.

amazing song i discovered 5 mins ago

by Antonio Carlos Jobim

and you know what im probably just Teenage GIrl discovers music rn and idk. embrace the process i suppose! ^_^. i think im about to start my period wwhich is why im all like this. but idk i think there is just soo much beauty in the world! its so awesome. i have so much love in me for everyone ever!!!!!!!! like i LOVE my best friend and i think that she is so special and awesome for real and i feel so special for getting the chance to even be her friend and that life ended out this way!!!! UGHGUGHGUHGH!!!! Oh Man. im suppperrr tired. i have school tomorrow and im so excited to see all my friends. not excited to do all my work though. sigghhh..... my lesson went well today. i think im getting better. i hope! that studio is really really hot though and i get all sweaty ewwww!!!! >_< i think im for sure a visual learner though and im glad i figured that out!

like ill be so real a lot of songs i rememeber just based on their album covers. ESPECIALLY vocaloid. GOD i love vocaloid omggg!!! but since most song titles are not english and i cant be bothered to translate or look it up like.. ican describe an album cover but not tell u the name LOL but that also goes for normal english music. :3c i like discovering things about myself. i think im getting to know myself more and more everyday and that makes me excited and happy. i used to hate myself becaue i knew nothing about myself or how i felt! but i feel like ive been so much better at that. and also i think im way happier with how i look now too. I AM JUST SO HAPPY!!!!! this is just the best ever. thanks multiverse for listening to my thoughts :3 sry if they sound kinda stupid today. im superrr tired >.<

i drew me as a troll! trolls is pretty awesome!

i dont draw as much as i used to! its so fun!

my best friend loves trolls right now! and i love my best friend! so i made this.. idk..LOL!

i really like velvet and veneer!!! they are sooo cute and their song is so addicting!!!! ^_^

dats it! i just wanted to share because i rly like her :333