I didn't think this site would be back. I'm happy that wasn't the case

A place where I have a great career, a nice paying job, and an amazing social life. I finally have the money and resources to build my dream home, in a beautiful peaceful neighborhood (small mountain town preferably).

I'm living life to the fullest.

Other than my mom and grandmother. This is what helps keep me going. Knowing that years from now; I won't have to imagine my future. I would have since turned it into reality.

Sometimes I imagine myself in another universe.

A universe in which I've succeeded in everything I set my mind to.

I feel lost again. I guess whatever goes up must go down eventually. I'm tired of these constant dips in my mood. I'm having a difficult time drawing as well and am struggling creatively. I miss spending time with my best friend. We've both been so busy dealing with shit in our lives to hang out much. AltHough, it seems that we will be able to hang out soon in time for her birthday.

I know that I should seek help,; knowing the amount of mental stress I put myself through. I keep having certain... thoughts. Scary thoughts that push me over the edge. I practically lock myself in my room. I'm trying to keep my mind as well as my thoughts positive. But I get so wrapped up in the negative, it makes it that much harder to keep a smile on my face. Hopefully I can break through this hurdle; while trusting in my family and friends.

I really gotta get this paper and presentation in :(

Whyyyy am I like this :(((

I've literally been putting it off til the day it's due

Each time I get ready to start; I immediately lose interest or focus I should say

I've experienced some huge changes in my life this year. It's kind of scary. It feels like everything's going by so quickly --I just want slow down and take a breather.

It's not as if I'm opposed to it, just take aback. I've always whined and complained about how my life is going nowhere or feeling "trapped" in my own home. Now, I have these opportunities opening up for me and I feel... so overwhelmed. Not in a negative way per say; more like getting use to my newfound freedom.

Yet somehow I came back to site posting on here like nothing. Whenever I'm on here it feels like talking with a friend mine. A friend I only see few times a week or month. Updating them on the current events of my life.

It's nice.

This site has become my saving grace. I feel like I can comfortably rant --express my thoughts without feeling weird or judged. Honestly I thought after I made my account; I'd just go on it a few times and eventually forget it even existed. Which, admittedly I did for about a few months (about a year?).

I feel so tired all the time.

I need to travel --do something fun for once.

Maybe I just need a mental break or something

Does anyone else remember this gem of a show?

I came across this Youtube video:

https://youtu.be/2zy7cZf1XnE

And a wave of nostalgia came over ne. Memories of me back in elementary school being scared shitless, yet entranced by the mystery of the show. I LOVED this show growing up.

"I want to hear a pin drop"

Looking back at it now -it was pretty cheesy lol. Especially the acting/writing but I think it adds a certain "charm". Though that's probably the nostalgia talking.

FYI

Patricia has definitely become my favorite character. Her loyalty was unmatched.

Is it me or is time going by at a faster rate? 2022 felt so short, Months have felt like weeks or days even. it's like the past few years have been reduced to a faint memory. Maybe b/c of the pandemic; it just made things feel that much faster. I did hear, a few months back, that apparently the earth is spinning faster; thus the cause of why the days seem shorter. who knows...

I'm thinking of looking further into this topic. If I have the time that is. It's just something I've noticed since 2020. I was wondering if anyone noticed it too..

It makes me think - what is time exactly? I know that may seem like a stupid question, but It's something that I can't help but think about...