new piece of mine where i tried a new style! which is: pixelated random thing. but i like it.

you wanna know whats one of my favourite things ever?

P O L Y B I U S

yes the urban legend!

i just think its neat. ive loved it since i was a little pisi. i once made a book all about it. i know every single thing about this legend! and still idk why it fascinates me so much.

(♡´͈༝`͈)ฅ˒˒

I keep seeing these Michael Cera lamb cakes. Innocent Micheal Cera. Softly sat, with his lamb legs tucked in. Something to think about.

"I am a gift from god"

looks like they fixed whatever the issue was here... or it fixed itself, who knows?

anyway, there should really be an easy way to contact the admins here.

today sucked

but we grind

happy 8th birthday undertale!!!!!!!

u will always hold a special place

in my heart. <3

aw man now i gotta play touhou

Hello!

Lol, I'm not sure if my posts are any neat they just look like a huge brain dump I took all over.

Yeah, it's nice that there's no likes, share, comment and other pesky features that you find on other social sites that make you feel alone and competitive in here.

I really like that.

I mean, it's okay if others don't read what gets posted here, but there's an added insult to it when they explicitly mention "0 comments" or "0 notes" which makes things hurt a bit.

Thank you for the invite to the discord!

It's a huge time sink, and instant messaging really makes me anxious and constantly check for new messages!

I've heard praises about it too, but I've been trying to stay away from discord too.

I really liked Reki as a character.

I forgot a lot about it because I saw it quite a long time ago though so might give it a try again!

I've seen Haibane Renmei, and it's a really good show although I sometimes found it very slow paced and it was a lot of work to make it through the first few episodes.

This site still up. Wow!

https://cff.ssw.net/index.htm

Anyway, thanks for reading all the shit I wrote and thanks for the reply! :3

I really hate stuff that are too mainstream, typically the ones that preach shounen values like wanting to catch everything and becoming the number one and all that and I find that beating people up to become friends with them later, and then said friends coming to magically help you and stand by your side no matter what happens and are even ready to give up their own lives just so you can be the best and satisfy your narcissistic cravings and all that with them is a really wrong moral value that's being spread out in these shows.

I'm tired of these wish fulfillment escapist fantasy bullshit!

On the flip side, I also really hate the toxic positivity preachy stuff that asks everyone to fart rainbows all the time and smile and dance even in the darkest and deepest depths of sorrow like something I tried to see a few days ago, Nights of Cabiria. I couldn't make it past an hour of that.

I don't know why but I think I found Cabiria annoying and... painfully relatable and she reminds me of how I used to "fall" for emotionally toxic people and she really needs to consider the possibility that even if she finds herself in really bad circumstances she still has some unresolved issues that she needs to take care of so that she doesn't continue to end up in such situations again in future.

I really don't want to waste my time or energy or internet space talking about this extremely annoying and unrealistic archetype.

I can at least tolerate these things till I get bored and stop watching and feel intense shame and regret about wasting my time but one thing that really gets on my nerves is the god damn manic pixie dream girls.

Anyway, I guess other than that, I don't have any specific tastes and listen to anything that I stumble upon, but my favorite song is Grimes' Realiti [Both versions!]. Grimes is too good, or used to be, before Elon Musk happened.

Damn you, Nintendo!

I really feel good when I find something satisfying like that, something that really connects with me to the soul and not something that's superficial, preachy, pretty or just technically good.

I even struggle to find something relatable while watching or reading something that's passive, like anime, manga, movies, cartoons, or anything.

The best, and most important find though is Phosphophyllite from Houseki no Kuni because she's literally me, a walking disaster that blames everything else except herself for her problems, even if she gets put in unfortunate and manipulative circumstances [yes, she!].

Anyway, I guess the last thing I watched that I really liked was Aftersun, and it made me cry so much because I'm such a mess and it really moved me.

I really like it when things leave me confused and ambiguous as **** but then it has that god damn David Bowie song.

I'm tired of being bored and nit picky all the time!

It's a real struggle to find something that truly moves me, made by friendly people and not narcissists.

I'm so bored...

All of this makes it really hard for me to find something that I actually get to enjoy.

I kind of wish a manic pixie dream girl personality is real and I wish I could find the strength to be happy and fart rainbows even in my darkest times but I have a feeling that such personalities are a result of trauma, selective amnesia and serious object inconstancy.

I sometimes find myself listening to really toxic songs like the songs of Crystal Castles which nobody should endorse or support because Ethan is a ******* and an abusing ******, but somehow Alice's pain that came out of her songs can be really cathartic to listen to, and that's really addictive.

I also find myself listening to Lana Del Rey who somehow embraces and capitalizes relationships where toxicity thrives, diffusion and shared fantasies nurture, and all of which can be really messed up. I'm trying to stay clean off of those songs these days.

Something that also really pissed me off recently is listening to Layla by Eric Clapton on repeat for a whole day, and then finding out that this guy is a total narcissist and the whole story is so ****** up.

What's with all the toxicity in music industry, or anything that has to do with showbiz?

Oh yeah, I also liked Under Pressure by Queen because of Aftersun but then David Bowie, someone who is worshiped the **** out of, is a ******* ******* as well.

He even literally looks like a Ventrue, but is probably a Toreador or something.

Still, nothing beats this... the mythical "Internet Checkpoint" [which is dead now], my go-to comfort song while staring at unfamiliar ceilings.

Hello everyone!

I'm not exactly sure what to post here, though.

Suddenly I have remembered this place, so I went back here and changed some of my layouts :p

Enjoy this koi gif i guess xD

i know i don't check in here as much as i could.

but it's still a welcome spot to just let my thoughts rest, casually easily.

the summer has been a weird time. i've been in limbo, i've been thinking about how this world seems to be coming apart in so many ways. and has been for a while now.

i'm genuinely sick of these systems. im sick of those that want to side with those in power to try and save themselves.

don't they know they likely won't be spared?

one can hold out for as long and as hard as they can. and the moment one isn't of use. well.. the disposal is there. waiting for them. waiting for so many.

how is anyone supposed to live in times like these. i guess.. we just do anyway.

Night spend in a bus

do people even read these or do they just post...

i havent checked in this in like...5 years! i was working on my neocities (which i will plug/talk about relentlessly on every site im active on till the day i die) and remembered this existed!

this textbox isnt the most creative thing but my personal aesthetic is less whimsical, angelic, monet oil painting vibes and more whatever the fuck i want it 2 be so i decided to try my hand at making a windows vista type thing with gradients and a simple sans serif text and whatever. it really doesnt look like that but whatever :p im not the best at making textboxes

+ either deleted or unlisted all my other previous posts to start of with a clean, fresh state! and some just brought me extreme amounts of shame tbh

SECTION 1: TEXTBOX ADVENTURES

i had the sudden urge 2 write/blog about my life in an extremely drawn out format, either via a multiverse post or a bearblog entry, but i decided id go with the former!

shoutout 2 tamagotchi 0_o

that section went on for longer than i intended but im kinda in the mood to type. and, as established in the beginning, i wanted to ramble. i guess im doing a good job at my mission plan right now

and well, if im 100% honest, i switched my concept for this textbox a lot. i was gonna do a notebook paper theme, cause i had a strangely vivid idea where id put stickers on this and decorate it as if it were a fancy dairy entry on paper, but i resorted back to this because there isnt a good horizontal line pattern

and before even that, i wanted it to be a colorful, pattern mess, kind of like these japanese posters/magazine covers/advertisements. im a big fan of whatever this graphic design is called. i love the way they played with the title's type, its very fun and playful

SECTION 2: FANS & NOT A FAN OF THE HEAT... (KMS)

its the summer and oh my god its so terrible i hate it. im sweating basically every day but i cant tie my shirts up into a knot too high because im on my period right now. its actually hellish.

speaking of my ancient computer which im using to type this up right now, its doing this weird screen thing that when i move it in a way it doesnt like i guess it just bugs out and inverts the screen. 1/5 of the screen on the right also displays these really weird vertical black and white lines. its really weird but oh well, what can i do about it?

nd i cant even do anything about it since for some reason, im really uncomfortable with fans and they give me headaches. i also hate the repeated noise. that sound runs in the same circles as noisy ass electric toothbrushes and my ancient computer's computer fan

actually, there is a method to solving it. multiple in all honesty.

1. pressing my thumb on the vertical line part while supporting the back of it. somtimes you have to glide your finger up and down or in circles

my stomaches been hurting for the past few days. i had a sleepover with my friend on monday and we made cakes and "tea tasted" eleven teas in her pantry. maybe my stomach just rejects that meal plan

SECTION 3: STOMACHACHES, SITE & ON SOCIALIZATION

2. straight up just fucking hitting the screen

3. moving to a different part of my bed for some reason. it might have to do with the magnets inside the computer doing some weird shit, i dont know

i also sorta finished the revamp of my neocities' main page (i dont know what else to call it since it isnt the index but its where everything is. maybe i should just call it my home page. that realization just dawned on my while writing this. im actually stupid.)

the inspiration (mostly for the header concept of many plants surrounding the text:)

a custom apple box i drew in a online pixel art editor for the site! (so dedicated wow)

it was ok. even though everyone there seemed to be perfectly friendly and non-judgemental, i still failed to really open up. there were a lot of times i wanted to speak but just could not for the life of me man the fuck up and raise my hand to talk. it was embarrassing. i wish i talked more and tried to be more open. but thats what happens when you just suck at not being a pussy.

a week prior i attended a summer class called controversial discussions/the psychology of discussion where me and a bunch of other people sat in the same really small classroom in this nearby college and talked about controversial topics, as advertised.

oui oui

Prepare

yourself...

SECTION 4: FINAL CONCLUSIONS

and...i think thats where ill conclude this post! i just scrolled up and oh my god i wrote a lot. hope no ones annoyed my post basically fills up like an entire page. i just had a lot to say and this was a nice way to channel it all out. if you read this in its entirety...what the hell, i love you

The

End.

"Your first impression of someone is never what you think it would be. You may think of me to be some pretty little innocent girl that lives life like everyone else, worrying about how I look every day, what shoes I should wear with my outfit and why the hell does he not like me. Am I not pretty enough? I don't phreaking care. I am myself and I live for myself. I am weird and think weird. But that's what makes me different from all of you. I am happy for myself and live life to the fullest. So if you're not some crazy nutty cooky freak, I don't wanna talk to you!! Have a nice day."

-ladageggz, on Geocities, circa-2001

Art and a geocities quote

"if someone tells you they don't like you because of something you do or like, that isn't hurting anyone, just do it more till they explode in a puff of anger and frustration at the fact that you're simply enjoying yourself" -Me (riley)

hey plebs. havent blogged on here in a while. its fun tho cos there are no comments. anyway do i have the stuff to blog about that no one will read!!1 X'D

Art

HEY

its amazing how something can just enter my mind then leave it so quickly as if it never was. today i found out that i'd forgotten to complete so much homework that i hardly remember being given!!1

also, i like this guy. i'm kinda friends with. big time. and let me tell you, luv hurts and bleeds.

life shiz (my fav)

i'm writing my own songs now, and practicing guitar for like an hour every day. i'm v dedicated lol. it's a passion at this point (but thats not a bad thing is it??)

yea i may not be the best guitarist but i am (trying to) get there. :p

Music

proportions were hard on this one...it...turned out ok

song of the week:

19-2000 by Gorillaz

new art, done during math coz it was way better than learning about linear functions. more on my website if anyone's interested.

https://crashtestdummy.neocities.org/art

spacehey: xXRiley.RiotXx (https://spacehey.com/crashtestdummy)

website: https://crashtestdummy.neocities.org

I traveled a lot, and didn't get much done in terms of what I set out to do. I got a lot done tho!

I recently stayed in a hostel for the first time in years. I think since Memphis. That was actually very great! It was well needed for my travel beaten body.

writing helps me remember myself ✍💭

sup!1 lil life update i guess?? plus art?

haiyo

website stuffz

(if u havent seen my site yet, its https://crashtestdummy.neocities.org i'm workin so hard on it lel)

i added so many thingz to it such as art, an almost endless library of stampz and blinkies if ur into that (theyre rly cool for spacehey profilez!!) and i also have a monthly rock music zine!

if ur into 90s grunge/2000s punk rock u should see my site!1

math book art11!

instead of figuring out the aceleration of a vehicle going at 72 kmph that slows down to 15 kmph i did these kewl drawings!1 this is just a handful of 'em.

just a fraction of my goodies!1

this is just a fraction of graphix from my massive collection!1 (crashtestdummy.neocities.org/goodies if u want more :p)

Spacehey!

i woudl luv to be frienz!1

https://spacehey.com/crashtestdummy

it's uh

been a while. hasnt it

first of all, sorry for leaving so suddenly. i was put in the academy (school for the "bad kids") and everything got blocked

secondly, im sorry to all my fellow blaseball fans out here. just in general

truly we are all love blaseball

my last log before just kinda fuckin off for a few months was blaseball stuff

kind of ironic in a way

I absolutely love cupcakes esp chocolates one!! i dont know but they always so yummyyy

have to find different ways to support myself/

looking at these job postings and hating them all.

irritable at the little projects i have been working on not being enough to draw from

tired of being stuck at the place i know i don't need to be at.

tired of this world and how it functions in so many ways. tired of the structures.

irritable of how the buy in towards these systems continues. i want to try and talk to others about it

Like ik im not actually missing out on anything in an hour and a half study hall block but like... what if something really cool happened if i didn't skip

:((

yup, back to posting every random thought i get XD

i was just thinking, aint it so cool how bands that are just a bunch of dorks jamming in a dingy garage make such good music, while bands put together by big companies make cheap commerical music that is almost unlistenable??

random muzic thought coz i luv music XP

HE ASKED ME OUT!!! Of course I said yes, I'm so happy. He's the only person that's ever made me feel like this. I'm in love with him.