the world i see

short hikes, friends, wooden texture, stationery, what do you see through your eyes?

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Raoul

Charlotte

Jamal

Owen

Karl

Maurice

Lea

Keep your friends close! Here are some of mine, they’re a good bunch:

july 24th 2021 #thingaday

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why not post it here?

i love bad photography

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my favorite photos end up being the ones that are

mundane

lacking a "proper"

subject

just the sky

rapid snapshots of the freeway taken from the backseat of my parent's car

not "good"

i want to keep taking "bad" photos and i encourage you to do the same, if you feel so inclined.

my interest in photography and desire to improve my skills sort of backfired because i started to devalue my own "imperfect" photos. then i realized that some of my favorite photos are not the ones that will earn followers on instagram, clients for your business, praise from your photography professor


i like the photos we have from what i'll call the "consumer film era". or photos from the few times that people use disposables, like camping trips. imperfect snapshots of an imperfect world


bad photos make great time capsules

summer in the desert

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Reminder

It's also about hearing about the thing, seeing the thing, thinking about the thing, existing in proximity to the thing

Burnout isn't just about "doing the thing"

July 18th #thingaday

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I fixed up this sports man real nice today

the little white pixels around the edge are bothering me

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Sending the 💌 back to you!

Uncle Pete! Did I do it correctly?

Uncle Pete gave us a puzzle today

Shamanic Altered Consciousness

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The 8-fold paths of Shamanic trance

Meditation

Plants (psychedelics)

Possession (spirit)

Pathways to reach an altered state of consciousness for self-improvement, healing, or a fucking break from reality.

Aesceticism (denial)

Flesh (pleasure)

Ritual

Rhythm (drumming/music)

Ordeal (struggle/pain)

Mycorrhizal

love in the devonian

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This is new.

They are new to the sun and the air.

We circle them, with their curious green... what are they, dear?

Thank you. Their stems, green, but for what purpose we cannot tell, until...

You seek a closer look, twining twisting closer to — into us

We did not realize we were so close — here, phosphorus, nitrogen, water, as penance.

They know this soil but are yet unable to feed themselves on more than rocks.

But felt.

Is this what we were missing? More than the sudden breeze sends shudders through us, through the you that are becoming us. We are... alive. This water, this new visitor...

Is this what we were missing? Many become two become one, your green to the light, and we within, throughout, unseen.

But felt.

We nourish each other.

Something has changed.

What are these? Why, they reach and grasp as we do.

Our ancestors' ancestors could never have dreamed of what we have done. Of how we have worked so hard to make life easier for us both. Beloved, look. Look what I have made.

We think to call them "roots." With these, we can help you scout the soil for water, for nutrients. We can be together below as above.

A pocket of phosphorus for our love. We burrow and break, rend molecules with the hunger of many, of the thousands of us conveying these nutrients to our green-stemmed lover.

Stems, beloved.

You have cared for us as well, beloved. Without you we would wither, as would you without us. We can care even more perfectly with these. You could even live along these "roots" and help us more. We can take in even more of the earth's offerings, perform more miracles. Make more descendants with more roots that are better than we could ever imagine. Let us try.

We- You... 500 million years, our ancestors have always made good without roots. Have you not cared for us perfectly well? With your deep green stems, you perform sweet miracles with the sun's blessing. You have made many children.

We are in love.

My dear, this root tip is in a bare area, wouldn't you say? Perhaps a bit more carbon for this batch of nitrogen?

That's odd, tell me again about that nest of squirrels whose chatter you love so much?

You drive a hard bargain. Carbon doesn't come cheap, you know! It isn't in the air we breathe!

Ohoho, you remember, do you?

We remember you said their breath was "a breath of fresh carbon dioxide."

Yes, we are familiar through many others such as you. Why?

Ahaha, so we did! Oh, excuse us, love, we never seem to tire of this little game. Here is your carbon.

You know that other strain, that strings along the forest's sunny side?

Neither do we. Thank you.

They told me the orchids are coming up, down at the edge.

Ah, more young ones to eat it all up?

Come, now, don't be that way. When they're older, they can share with their neighbors.

This is true. And I'll be glad to help them along. If this fall is as wet as the last, we should have many new additions to the network, as well.

Indeed... Say.

Mm?

Do you ever wonder what it was like, in the beginning? Before forests. Before... roots?

Do you suppose there ever was a time before roots?

I do suppose. There must have been a time before bark, before leaves, before roots... Perhaps even before stems.

Mm... It was probably a barren time. A harsh time.

But a beautiful time, as well, don't you think?

How do you figure?

It would have been us. Just us against a barren, harsh time, as you say.

Mhmhm... Yes. I suppose it would have been beautiful. Just us, digging through rock and loam for something to sustain us.

Fewer neighbors to worry about, no news. You, us, the sun and earth.

But we still have each other, and the sun, and the earth. And the neighbors and the news. We have more blessings all the time.

You know, for a haggling rascal, you're rather sappy.

Well, you spend enough time with someone...

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I have infinite paradises(heavens)(homes)

Today I feel funny like

Like dirt

and crayons

and hay

and wood

all glittering ALIVE?

Sometimes I really love myself for it (like I'm running wild about myself, sometimes)

Maybe there's something to sharing it.

I don't know how to know which I'll end up in. But I think the weather has a lot to do with it.

I'm lucky to accidentally wander into my very own kingdoms!

I'm excited to feel what I'll feel next


Hey, guys

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Hi, I'm Haruka live in Japan. What's up?

Never Gonna Give You Up

You Just Got RickRoll’d!!

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We're no strangers to love

You know the rules and so do I

A full commitment's what I'm thinking of

You wouldn't get this from any other guy

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling

Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

Never gonna run around and desert you

Never gonna make you cry

Never gonna say goodbye

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

We've known each other for so long

Your heart's been aching

but you're too shy to say it

Inside, we both know what's been going on

We know the game, and we're gonna play it

And if you ask me how I'm feeling

Don't tell me you're too blind to see

Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

Never gonna run around and desert you

Never gonna make you cry

Never gonna say goodbye

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

Never gonna run around and desert you

Never gonna make you cry

Never gonna say goodbye

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you


Never gonna give, never gonna give

(Give you up) (Ooh)

Never gonna give, never gonna give

(Give you up)

We've known each other for so long

Your heart's been aching

but you're too shy to say it

Inside we both know what's been going on

We know the game and we're gonna play it

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling

Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

Never gonna run around and desert you

Never gonna make you cry

Never gonna say goodbye

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

Never gonna run around and desert you

Never gonna make you cry

Never gonna say goodbye

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

Never gonna run around and desert you

Never gonna make you cry

Never gonna say goodbye

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Windows Schmindows

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That'll show ya, Microsoft!

My current PC is apparently not equipped with the proper hardware to run Windows 11...

So instead I'm decorating my Windows 2000 PC to look as close to Windows 11 as possible...

Are you a mirror?

waxing once again

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That's not, in and of itself, a bad thing.

All people are reflections of the world around them. Can there even be a self devoid of others? How do we define ourselves if not in relation to those around us?

Lately, I've been trying to behave more as a prism.

We read something and regurgitate it. We see a trend and we copy it.

Taking in the light around me and splitting into something new. Something colorful.

I don't know if it is working. Perhaps I, like a talented counterfeiter, continue to produce better and better copies, fooling myself that I am creating something new.

I'm not even conviced it matters.

But the act of being prismatic makes me feel better.

And I am convinved that that matters.

So many people present themselves as mirrors.

The epidemic of modern reality is that, for many people, the self stops at reflection.

drawing abstractions

(feat. criminal overuse of the word “symbol”)

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we are completely alone and that's why we make

it gets so lonely sometimes

art

art

will you visit soon?

please visit soon, please visit soon. please visit me here. come here, please visit me

sole inhabitants of island nations

come experience the landscape of my mind

come experience the landscape of my mind

art

this is a cat

art is a tourist visa

art

you can look at a cat from all angles. you can sit with her in the sun and how where her fur catches the light, where her figure casts a shadow. you can capture that.

i'm struggling with my subject.

you see...

i keep drawing symbols

i keep drawing symbols

this is a symbol

"emotion"

"feeling"

look at all these symbols.

i have this intense longing to share a feeling thats been with me as long as I can remember. I try to coax it out, sometimes I think i’m close, but it doesn’t seem to translate. it still grows, swelling to the edges of my mind and i’m afraid it’s going to push through and leave me completely. what happens to inspiration when you don’t use it? is it really mine? will it die when i do? will it leave me for someone more capable? will i ever find a way to get it out of me? does it even matter?

this is a symbol

(the most infamous of them all)

this is a feeling

the word feeling doesn't really seem to fit tbh. but its the closest i can get

some feelings are universal but some don't even have words assigned to them.

some feelings aren't emotions at all. i don't know what to call them. the things that swirl around in our minds and come alive when the breeze hits just right

anyway. this is where i get stuck. i can take a photo that represents a sliver of my mind but at the end of the day, it's a picture of a tree or a road or a shopping cart. there's no way to infuse this photo with my intent. you can't do this with certainty, because

feelings are invisible.

poetry feels closer, mainly because it's something i can create from scratch vs something i try to capture.

If you want to share something invisible and intangible, maybe you need an equally invisible and intangible medium.

so, as it turns out, sound is pretty neat.

hey i just met you and this is crazy but can i talk to you about paul mccartney

McCartney by Paul McCartney (1970)

would you do me a favor? please go listen to the song. track six on "mccartney", (make sure it's just called "junk". track six!) it's under two minutes long.

there's a song on this album called "junk". it has lyrics. they're pretty, but they don't really "mean" anything on their own:

this little indie gem was created by a lad named paul mccartney.

you might know him from being paul mccartney. (he was also in this one band that got pretty big.. your mother should know)

motorcars, handlebars, bicycles for two

broken-hearted jubilee.

parachutes, army boots, sleeping bags for two

sentimental jamboree..

so, we're testing a theory, and this is the moment of truth.

these lyrics make a lot more sense now, right? or perhaps i should say.. these lyrics have more sense. we don't have context, but we have color, texture, gravity.

but all we added was music

one minute and 57 seconds later:

is this a symbol? possibly, but probably not, because a symbol should be easily recognizable. this is just a bunch of words. the words can be recognized and understood on their own, but..

to me, this is a feeling. this is a swirly brain bit that now lives outside my brain

but there is no context. it isn't translated. i don't think it can mean anything to anyone else.

something is missing.

closer, but -- not quite.

there's another track on this album, you might have noticed. it's called singalong junk.

listen to it.

you will quickly notice that there isn't anything to sing along to, because paul is cheeky af

this is a feeling.

i took a drawing class in college. the first thing the instructor taught us was the distinction between drawing an object and drawing a symbol. a symbol is a reference to "it". we look at a symbol and think, "i know what this is". it's mental shorthand, we gloss over it without actually seeing "it".

paul mccartney

i can't say for certain if the feeling i'm experiencing is what paul felt composing this, and there will never be a way to know. because everyone, even paul mccartney, lives alone in their mind.

but this song stirs something inside of me that wasn't there before. it feels like a familiar place i've never been. a false memory that isn't mine, but i'm able to live inside it for a moment. this song, recorded half a century ago, somehow contains an entire little world.

songs are like floating orbs of consciousness, separated from their source, somebody else's lonely world.

ideas and emotions and memories and meaning, stuck in our minds. i want to communicate but i just don't know how. i get lost in words, lost in images. i'm lost right now. i'm alone in my head, alone in my world. but maybe that's the human experience? everyone is a lonely planet. wishing to collide. we try our best to connect, doing our best, but there's a barrier.

music gets through.

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Oh, hello

Nice to meet you, I hope we can be friends.

If you need a break, join me underneath this tree

I like watching the sunlight dance between the leaves

Feel free to stay here as long as you need, I have time

I also like smelling the grass, and feeling how it scratches at my back.

You can find the best grass underneath this tree.

You might find laying here might get a little boring. But it's okay. I understand. I get like that too.

I also like smelling the grass, and feeling how it scratches at my back.

You can find the best grass underneath this tree.

That better? Well let's get back to watching the tree then...

The best part is that there are many trees

They all provide shade and comfort for us

This tree is my favorite; but do you have a favorite tree too?

It doesn't have to even be a real tree, could be a fictional tree too

My other favorite tree is from My Neighbor Totoro

Oh? Have to go? Okay then, thank you for your company. And I hope that we can call each other friends now. 💛

Two Girls

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This is literally one of my favorite songs. It is queer as hell and makes you feel like you're flying, going miles per second. Take a few seconds to listen to it if you haven't before.

Reconnecting

Making friends in a post-vaccination world

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Made with webgbcam by @maplesbian

So we recently decided to make an OKCupid account after years since we last used one. It went poorly, but we wanted to make some local connections.

We're unsure of what it'll be like to make friends again. It's been easy enough to hang out in Discord servers and getting close with folks who seem cool.

We have all of our friends online aside from a couple. Hardly any local queer friends at all, we want to be more connected to the local queer and kink scene. But kinda hard to be when you're a shut-in with disabled partners who are more inexperienced and less interested in exploration than you.

We don't really have an easy time making friends and connections IRL. Maybe it's because it's easier to find "weird" folks on the internet we can connect to. Seems like most of the smart and weird folks tend to move to the coast, rather than staying in blue collar cities like this...

How we've failed

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To ignore human psychology/behavior in favor of exclusively epidemiology is to ignore the primary reason human disease spreads: human behavior.

Unfortunately, I feel this is the primary failing of the CDC/WHO. Not bad science but the ignorance of the behavior of the general population who does not have a degree in the sciences.

feel the waves

take a breath

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I spent some time this weekend at the beach.

I thought I'd bring some back for you.

drippy

wd40 and oil paint

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a bit of oil paint mixed with wd40 and a bucket of water makes a beautiful marble. made a series of these many years ago

1st Post

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NU-DISCO

NO THOUGHTS JUST NU-DISCO

entropy

proof that the universe loves you

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╖My intuition said, "of course, of course," while my heart did not dare to believe such a thing.

I had to test it for myself.

Are cups and bowls not meant for holding?

Why, then, was I scolded into writing in neat, straight lines?

I was, perhaps, thirteen when I first learned of

entropy.

The universe itself defies order?

in my favorite I SPY books, I searched for a sign of this randomness, of a descent into chaos on the still page

but all I saw was meticulously ordered disorder. a pale imitation of the real thing.

I imagined kicking everything away like an angry giantess, to show them what a real mess is

i saw

𝝨

uᴉɥʇᴉʍ

only to smash them and watch their twin parents Time and Energy react with gravity to tear them apart

i feverishly assembled legos into haphazard vehicles, sculptures, people

the universe is on my side, with its spilt milk and jpeg artifacts and messy slurped-up ramen and boiled-over pasta water and air bubbles in yeasty bread and spray of freckles on my best friend's face

i plucked a rock from the bank

it was striated with a million billion years of older rock squashed together that had probably been tired of rolling and tumbling long before anybody was around to think about how it felt

and chucked it in

at last, quiet, pensive, reverent, i wandered to a stream behind my house

Ͱ

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Right on Uncle Pete! Trains are truly awesome!

I love travelling by train

Strawberry Switchblade

Ode to the polka-dotted pop duo that aided in my self-discovery

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Jill Bryson

Rose McDowall

STRAWBERRY SWITCHBLADE

They became known for their perky, flamboyant clothing, often adorned with polka dots.

A new wave duo from Glasgow, Scotland. They had a hit single in 1985 with Since Yesterday, off their eponymous one and only album.

Why am I dedicating a post to this long-forgotten "one-hit wonder" pop band from the 80s?

Well, because when I was 'discovering' more about my identity, I came across Strawberry Switchblade

Taking solace in their music and aesthetics brought out my true self, and it was the first time I felt liberated in embracing those feminine aspects about myself.

So I owe a lot to this duo for helping me discover who I am, and letting me know that it's okay to be ME.

I also pledge to cosplay them one day, when I'm physically more confident and able to do so!

Thank you for reading, and I sincerely hope you enjoyed the aesthetic display as much as I did!!