hi what’s this

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my really (un)interesting thoughts #14

HOP OFF RN. RN!!!!!!!!!!

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yellow internet!



or.. more like SAD MONYAY! oh my god. because someone. will NOT HOP OFFFFF!!!!!!! sigh. well first of all... i got sick this weekend so i was so sad.. and i have cramps today.. and so i was EXTRA sad. but it wasn't that bad. i was so tired and sad today at school... (not rly). anyways. the MAN WHO WILL NOT FREAKING HOP OFF. so i walk into this studio. hes like Ok Brb lemme get Dem brushes. Okie. we start with dem drums. Okie. i learned this SUPER MEGA HARD STUFF. like. flim flams (....MY LITTLE PONY oh my GOSH) or something like that... like grace notes.. which iSUCK *cry* but i think it was the position of the pad anyway... and then we do BUZZ ROLLS. and if u dont know what theese STUPID THINGS ARE oh my goh its so hard the internet makes it look SO EASSY Help Me. im trying so hard. SO..HARD!! but i. Yeah. but it was chill. i try my best. im so awkward i say "Cool Yeah" all the timeUHHGH!! and he tells me something about the history of drums and military and then goes "yeah who cares"... HELPPPPP (i do.Pls. PlsPLSPLSPLS.) so anyways. WE. START.. BRUSHES!!! for the first time EVER! and this.. was so.. COOOL. oh my god. i felt like a fancy little brush Gal. wavin them around.. and stuf... well anyways this guy (very UNASSURINGLY) goes "yeah im glad u r interested in this stuff cuz Tbh brushes are many drummers weakness.. including me.. like im not that great sooo im glad i can teach u and get better myself" HELP WAHTTTTTTTTTT. well Thx.. but Wut.

*lyrics translated from Portuguese*

"Sunny day, flower smell

I like the sea, love

Your color, moonlight

Wind that comes from the sea

whirls, spins, twirls the wind

My love will take you

Far beyond the end of the world

Where i will call you"

"Take me in your hands

Take me to a moon in the Clouds

My heart in your hands

My Heart has passed a thousand Door

My life In your hands

Get the Life which gone and Which i lost back to me"

*lyrics translated from Arabic*

*lyrics translated from Portuguese*


well brushes were SUPER UPER cool. but oddly like.. its so funny watchiing someone (Nico) use them because its jsut like.. caressing the freaking drum head with a BRUSH LOL LIKE UR PETTING IT!. and he like stares me dead in the eye doing that stupid music concentrating face ITS SO FUNNY and SO AWKWARD. like genuinely brushes is so funy i swaer it feels so intimate LOLLLLLLL. this poor snare head has taken such a beating its whole life being literally slammed and hit every freaking second.. you can give it a little chill break by.... petting it with a brush.... LOLLL AM I MAKING IT WEIRD...ITS JUST SO FUNNY. and you do this thing where you like 'stir' it and the whole thing is you just .. STIR IT. with ur brush. ITS FUNNYI SWEAR. well anyways it was SUPER mega cool. and he was like "u should get ur own brushes Btw. after this u shuld go to guitar center (right nextdoor) so i was like Okie. well im TOTALLY KILLING IT ON THE BRUSHES. he was like Yess Go gurlll (he wasn't) and then im doing some thing idk with them and youll never guess. I MY HANDS START SHAKING AGAIN. oh my god what is wrong with me why am i always shaking during this damn class. maybe because SOMEONE IS LITERALLY ON ME ALL THE FREAKING TIME HOP THE FREAK OFF. like he is so close STARING at me do this LIKE 2 INCHES AWAY oh my god in that tiny freaking room OF COURSE IM GONNA START SHAKING THATS SO MUCH PRESSURE?. and he POINTS IT OUT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! "haah ur shaking..." OH MY GOFD HOP OFF. i just laughed. awkwardly this time. why does this happen EVERY WEEK.

"Come, because day has broken

Gardens are blooming

Everything is a presentiment

That this is the longed for time

To be happy"


Literlly. Jesus christ. well brushes was chill and cool and we lowk did that for most of the hour and it was awesome. Sigh. so then... it was Piano time. and heres where it ALL WENT DOWNHILL. IM AC TUALLY KILING MYELF. RN. oh my GODUH. we go. i practiced. a BIT. a bit. probably didn't practice what i was supposed to practice bc i forogt. This. Guy. oh my god. PISSED. OFF. AT ME. JESUS. HOP OFFFFFFF!!!! i know he was probably using scare tactics on me but Jesus. we were doing like idk chords or someting and i always forget scales/chords and i need to think hard abt it to remember cuz idk THERES 60+ DAMN SCALES IN THE DAMN PIANO. and hes like "you know brooke YOU were the one to assk me to play jazz on the piano and if you want to be the difference between a casual player and someone super awesome, which i know you can be, YOU HAVE TO MEMORIZE UR SCALES.. How many times do u practice piano.. probably not as much as the drums, HUH? yeah thats what i thought. well if ur NOT GONNA PUT ANY EFFORT into the FREAKING PIANO at HOME then theres NO POINT and i can just teach you drums the whole hour, do you want that??? YOU have to put the EFFORT IN. try playing a b flat minor arpeggio RIGHT NOW. (*i DO but it takes me a few seconds and i get a note wrong at first ). YEAH EXACTLY. at this point in a song the chord has already passed. you NEED TO KNOW IT or theres no POINT IN THESE LESSONS." OH. MY. GOD. HOP. OFFFFF!!!! JESUS. CHRIST. THREATENING TO STOP TEACHING ME THE PIANO IS SOOOOO CRAZYY!!!!


and so i FINALYL spot the brushes when HE WALKS UP TO THEM. and hes like "Oh yeah i came to buy brushes and sticks but Godamn brushes are so expensive (THEY ARE FREAKING $30+?????? GODDAMN. FOR A PAIR OF METAL BRUSHES.) so im just getting sticks"... liek Lit. so he like picks something like 'u should get these' and like ive never seen brushes in my life before this day so im like Okay Yah. and bro goes "sooo.. u have an allowance or something.. these r expensive" i was like Yah i do.. Hah. SO. AWKWARD. im about to spring out of that guitar center right then and there. i take the brushes.. i take them out of there package to see.. and they look... like brushes..(IDK???) so yeah.. he shows me these like fancy bent ones and i was like Wow fancy... and he was like Yah.. these make a diff sound.. Cooollllll... Okay. so i LEAVE. HIGHTAIL. with those brushes. i pay but he follows WATCHING ME LIKE A HAWK AS I PAY IM SO AWKWARD AT THAT DAMN CASH REGISTER. HE HAS A FREAKING STARING PROBLEM OH MY GOD HOP OFF. and i payed $31 for those purple brushes. Thanks. i was so awkward. but i at least wave goodbye. I LEAVE THANK GOD ITS ALL OVER. one more week until next monyay. im going to start tweaking out. genuinely . sigh. so it was quite an unsuccessful monyay. and i think i need to explode. RIGHT NOW. God. DAMN. i guess i need to FREAKING practice my DAMN SCALES. and also the drum stuff i learned isn't transferrable to my crappy electric kit bbecause it too fancy.. like.. buzz.. rolls... and brusshes.. dont rly work on dat.. so i think i will go and KKKMsklFMSKMsm. my life.. is so... hard... AND HOW AM I SUPOSED TO PRACTICE WHEN I GET HOOME AT 7PM EVERY SINGLE FERAIKING NIGHT AND THEN I HAVE TO EAT AND DO MY HOMEWORK AND SHOWER. HOW. HOOOOWWWWWW. Pls. im gonna lose it. So bad. also my like french cousins are coming to my house for three days? and i dont want to be loud for their french ears.

like literally at this point Jusstttt tell me you hate me Brother. and first of all i KNOW my scales. i am just bad at them and i cant do them like the back of my hand. Jesus. thank you for 10+ years of piano lessons for failing me! i need to get out of that mindset and pretend like ive never touched this damn intrument before because thats lowk why i dont practice ( I DO PRACTICE. just not my scales.). UGH. and i know it was a scare tactic to make me practice them but HARSH MUCH>??? like COME ON. maybe ILL turn the tables and threaten to drop out and then he'll have no one to teach jazz stuff to. how do you like THEM APPLES NICO. im kidding. Sigh. im sick of these people. soo... sick.... and the darn class ended. i was like "Ok. COol. Got it. Haha. PLEASE PLEAS EPLEAEPLEASEPLEASE". (not rly). he tells me to buy brushes.. something something.. gives me the damn papers he forgot last week...gives me some badge.. and tells me to have fun at this open mic thing im going to with my BIffle Bae (even though we aren't playing anything). i leave and my dad isn't there to get me yet so i just go to guitar center to get the brushes while i wait and FREAKING. THE OPP. HIMSELF. NICO. COMES IN RIGHT AFTER ME. as if i HAVENT SEEN HIM ENOUGH. like OK HEY. and my dad isn't here to protext me. so we BOTH GO TO THe DAMN DRUM SECTION and i DONT FREAKING KNOW WHERE THESE DAMN BRUSHES ARE because ive only been there ONCE IN MY LIFE to buy STICKS. so i go to sticks... exactly where HE IS... and IDK WHERE these damn brushes are so i look like a stupid idiot looking for these. so awkward. hes like "oh brushes r here" i go to the OPPOSITE END LIKE AN IDIOT. im like Oh Lol ive only been here once( like an IDIOT !!!)

this song is awesome. lovely piano (maybe me when i memeorize my damn scales ok go KYS!). spotify recommended. so fire. so obsessed with these patterns and moves and grooves and OH MAN samba is so fire i actually CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF IT RN!!!! thank you the internet and no one else. Sigh.

the lyrics are impossible to find anywhere? and i dont speak portuguese... but this song is SO FIRE. i feel like partying and dancing. my school is having a rio(the bird movie.. but we can pretend its the city) themed dance and so ive been so obsessed with brazillian dance samba?.. in hope asb will listen to me and play some at the dance. i even sent them a playlist Help.so awesome.


(a classic, but this version is my absolute favorite!)

*lyrics translated from Portuguese*

"Your love is rain,

my heart the flower

I need your love or I will die

My very life is in your power

Will I wither and fade or bloom to the sky?"

like.. i heard they spoke no english? Help. i dont even know any of them. im not even related to any of them... neither is anyone in my family.. something about my grandpa in law or something. but yeah.. apparently they have a 5 year old french girl sooo that seems like fun.. at my house.... until thursday.... yesssss.... maybe ill play them Cortex... they are french right...? idk. maybe im faking . or Naw. omg. idk how im supposed to live my whole life like this. WEEK then WEEKEND then WEEK then WEEKEND. everything feels the same and everything is blending together all into one and im so sick of it. but its like less than a month until my birthday. i still dont knwo what i will ask for... rhythm heaven megamix.. or project diva on the switch (for $40?? Jesus).... or an acoustic drum kit (but where wouuld i put it? but i want it so bad... i can practice in the garage... then i could play dem fancy stuff)... but then again i want to go camping or something.. but my dad was being weird about it (what so wrong with taking a trip to yosemite during spring break?... or even the giant sequoias... anything to get me INTO A FOREST PLEASEUH. give me a CHANGE this is too stagnant!!!!). well on the bright side i was allowed to drive ALONE for the FIRST TIME on saturday! with my license! im sooo happyyyy!!! i just drove to school for some boring volunteer thing but i DROVE with my LICENSE ALL ALONENENENEN!!!!!! i felt so awesome and cool. THIS MARKS A NEW POINT IN MY LIFE WHERE EVERYTHING IS AWESOME AND IM INDEPENDENT!!!! Pls. Pls. but my dad didn't let me drive alone to my lesson today... prolly cuz it was raining and theres an unprotected left turn (that i NAIL every time Thx Dad). so thats a really good thing. its all good really.

and im trying. SO. HARD. TO KEEP THE MINDSET. it was not bad for a while but now it ssucks cuz im on my period. but NOT. BAAAAAAD! i think. i hope. even though nico was being an opp today i don't really feel so bad. i was just exaggerating :3 but its true that im actually the most awkward person ever. but You live on I suppose. im going to ask to drive to youth groups on wednesday and hopefully it goes well. but youth groups isnt the same anymore.. my one friend smells bad and the other girls are way too christian they make everyone else feel dumb (please. one told me i cant say GOAT cuz its like the devil or something. HOP OFF and CALM DOWN.) so yeah. and im forgetting everyone too. on one hand its a good thing... but i feel really stupid because i dont remember the people i used to know like the back of my hand. i totally forgot someone who used to be really important to me the other day. and it scared me. i dont even rememebr her anymore. JEsus. freaks me out so bad. although i do think i just have the most horrible memory ever (COUGH me not MEMORIZING MY DAMN SCALES NICO.) and sometimes its good but sometimes its so frustrating. it makes me scared that there some really important event in my life that my brain completely forgot. well at leaast im a PROJECT SEKAI GOAT! are girls into that. Lesbians wya. PLEASE. im constnalty looking. but Naw. sigh one day. thank you. well i am going to go PRACTICE MY DAMN SCALES YOU FREAKING SICKO PERV NICO OH MY GOD HOP THE FREAK OFF. thanks everyone and i will catch you next week for another (hopefully less sickening) MONYAY!!!!!!!!!!

okay word

ok word

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Guys I'm realizing how I am literally a nerd and Idk how to feel...

like what do you MEAN I am on the DEBATE TEAM and taking CALCULUS? am I lame. because I fear. that I might be....

okay wait no I'm a baddie trust

ok I hope that I'm actually really cool and not weird and a loser

irls let me know


When an Interest Becomes Special

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I made posts about iDOLM@STER before, but suffice it to say,

I have iDOLM@STER autism.

I know that's not iDOLM@STER but it fits...


the plastic on planet

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the crow picked out debris

among plastics

the plastics crowns

malleable, touchable, reachable

and unbreakable

the debris decomposes into particles

the debris intertwines with plastic particles

intertwines with intestine

Buy. Eat. Go.

Freshness. Efficiency. Goodness.

We lose sight of how we live on this planet

The soils in which we connect with

we root on

the vast secrecy of the planet

We destroy

but the debris stays

why no one should trust me with powers


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This is a quick post - but if i were ever to actually the kind of void powers and embodiment that I think about metaphorically on a literal level - one I would immediately be a menace to society (in an immediate to undermine and subdue a lot of these terrible structures off the bat)

and two, Black Magic - by Backxwash ft Ada Rock would be the soundtrack to me wielding that kind of power. Every time i listen to it - all my hesitations and fucks to give just .. go right out of the window in a way that I genuinely love and need.

whats up chicken butt

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moving on! why is the lgbt community at my small rly big but also small. like why cant i get a gf when there r so many sapphics around . life is TOUGH!

me when track

Hey guys whats poppin! snorin soren introduced me to thsi website so hi!!!!!! and a special hello to my irls here..i see u ....and i am watching...always...he he he...

Omg also guys TELL ME WHY divergent is so bomb dot com like i just rewatched it for the 4th time and . ITS FIRE! it was fire all four times i watched it. any hate it gets is NOT VALID .

also today i did an ap lang synthesis essay and I feel like i ate it up lowkey. if u asked me to tell u what i wrote i would not be able yo tell u but i THINK i ate . 8 . tbh i dont even remember yhe prompt. uhhhh. uhhhhhhhhhh. yeah ive been sitting here for 5 mins thinking and i do not remember what it was about. lol!


ok but tell me why everyone else on long jump is so much better than me....life is hard...i lowkey. no . highkey. regret doing long jump i should have atuck with sprints cus at least i had friends there. and u actually have to do ao much more technique for long jump i am like . Ah! . but anywyS . j will just win . and after this season im quitting track he he he

wow this thing is fun! bring back blogging fuck social media!!!!!! bye guys!!!! - ren

tm i have a track meet :(((((( im very nervous. usually im not nervous for track meets but this year I'm doing long jump and like lowkey i suck !!! its like a mental thing tho cus sometimes i can do rly well buut like kately ive been flopping . but today at practice i did a rly good jump so im hoping tjat means that tm i will WIN!



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My week has been jam packed! I went to UC Berkeley last weekend for a debate competition which WORE ME OUT! And I had to go back to school (ew) and catch up on work and I'm just a sleeeeeepy guy. I cannot for da life of me stay up past 10 pm. I feel like that hamster. Pic inserted below

Anyhoo. I told myself I'd stay up to catch up on work but I knock out at 10. My gf even told me to start hw early but I didn't listen! Because I thought I could do it! and then I texted them in the morning looking like the hamster like "Baefy I fell asleep :("


I also have another debate tournament this saturyay! It's state quals lets hope I'm awesome!

Side note I went to therapy yesterday and made my therapist cry SORRY :( I was telling a sad little anecdote and I think she was really feeling it. And then we listened to leith Ross together I LOVE MY THERAPIST she told me she was proud of me thx queen!

Ok bye -sorn

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Another insane girl introduces herself

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So, what does she like?!

A lot of things! My interests change week to week..

I love games, books, movies, musicals, etc. Things with a story.

Anything art related instantly has my attention. From music, to poems, to painting, to architecture.

I'm a nerd I fear!


My name is Sam

After complaining about being unable to fully post any in all rants, this website has been dropped on my doorstep. Woah!

I'm new to sites like this, please be patient. Thank you ☆彡

What a fun site this seems like!!! A cute corner of the internet

Hello Kitty is cool too ig

I want to post the most random stuff ever. Just any interest I have in the moment to try and cope with my insanity. Maybe I'll post a doodle here and there? I'm honestly too interested in seeing everyone else's blogs! They all look so fun!! You're all very creative, it makes me want to be creative myself.



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(just a random nostalgic gif ;))

Curious :

Was there ever anyone who started out here by saying "I absolutely know what i want to write today."?

Am in love with this alternate internet thingy, thanks to whoever inspired the person who created this place, and all those other blank templates sites that are pushing us to think about "what we have to say".

Well really, to think about who we are.

Livin' Da Life

updates and crap

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i also got OTHER AWESOME CUTE STUFF like this snoopy tin that came with a cookie in it!! along that new lip tint from bath and body works... it kinda light for me but its very cute!!

my valentine's day was awesummmmmm... i hung out with my friggin squad, we made poppin cookin (it tasted like melted gummy Shit), and i got to go to PetCo with my Biffle Bae (Heart Emoji). also every year my mom gets me a gift on valentine's day because she's just awesome like that!! and this years gift was SO GOOD she rlly outdid herself...

other thoughts... hmm...

it was raining earlier in the week, and you know what REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS..? WHEN PEOPLE CHOOSE TO WEAR THEIR BAGGIEST JEANS AND SWEATPANTS ON RAINY DAYS!!! like i can see them dragging around their feet with the water seeping up all the way to their knees and it is SO NASTY! like i hope you get mold in your damn pants.

my friend (who i haven't seen in quite a while!) gave me this:

something funny that i do in school, i mutter under my breath to people in the hallway. i feel like such a grumpy old man when i do it though. sorry but if you walk TOO slow in a crowded walk way i'm gonna say some old people shit like: yeah buddy i got ALL DAY... keep it movin'.

long time no multiverse!! sorry since last post i've realized how LONG it takes to make one damn post!! i could easily be wasting my time some other, more unproductive way, y'know! anyway... here are some pawesome updates on my life... nuttin too special.

i was walking to class once with my airpods in (god bless for airpods and my apple watch. where i would be without them... i do not know) and me and your mama by childish gambino was playing. and you know how it fades out... very soft and twinkly. then all of a sudden i hear: IT'S TEARIN UP MY HEART WHEN I'M WITH YOU!! and i'm like woah *nsync!!! (LIKE IN TROLLS.) what a change in tune... i really need to clear out my playlists i think.

she also got me THE TROLLS BAND TOGETHER BLUE-RAY AND DVD??!?! also it has a digital code so i can watch it FREAKING ANYWHERE. including the car ride to arizona... i'm driving to arizona tomorrow btw. 3 am. SO EXCITED (im so excited to see you excited!!!) AND ALSO

IT CAME WITH THE ART OF TROLLS BAND TOGETHER BOOOOKKKKKKKK. i've been wanting this book for like ever holy Crap. (newest edition in my collection of trolls books, next to the LITTLE GOLDEN BOOK of trolls band together.)

it's a mini version so it doesn't have as many pages as the original one BUT THAT'S OKAY!

my women's history (substitute) teacher gave me a 50/50 on an assignment that i did not turn in! i mean i did it but i just didn't email it to him... i'm not complaining though. the weird thing is i saw it originally marked as 0/50 and i was like: yeah that makes sense. then i see like a day later my grade changed to a 50/50, so!!

freaking trolls necklace set she got from a garage sale!! i mean it was used but it still has all the charms and some beads... AWESOME!!

i now realize that EVERY single one of my posts mentions trolls. so that's my theme i guess. i MUST mention the trolls franchise at least once. i mean i do that in real life anyway so that shouldn't be too hard...

ok that's it Baiii :3c


i got like 3 OF THESE TROLLS MINEEZ TWO PACK BLIND BAGS... one of which i got a JOHN DORY ONE (pictured on the right of the bag... i also have the baby poppy one :3) AND JOHN DORY IS MY FAVORITTEEEEE i've been wanting that one for like EVER when i opened it i literally almost screamed OUT LOUDD

Sometimes, being OK is good enough.

ty rhythm heaven. and ty to my history teacher for making this class so damn easy its stupid.

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hey the internet....

its me brooke again!!

so im writing this..

i currently have nothing to do in history class..

because i accidentally did everything yesterday

this >>>>>>

is my american images project... i like it ithink

i think i maybe want to make collages on photoshop because this is kind of awesome!

although i have no time anymore for it...

no time for ANYTHING EVER!

<< i like this rhythm heaven screen.. i love rhythm heaven!

yesterday, i got hypnospace outlaw too!

Hello World!

Or whoever might be watching!

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Oh. Well that's unfortunate.

Hiya! I'm Lawn Flamingo!!!! I... uh... don't know what else to write... but I'm giving my best shot!!!!!

Let me just.... get out my thinking cap....

Like I said, I'm Lawn Flamingo! I'm a writer,

crazy fandom nerd, and autistic mess- all in one!!!

I don't know why I started this blog, except that I found

some sites FULL of fun bumper stickers, badges, and gifs.

Potential Energy

On the energy that is liberated when we change our material conditions

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My boyfriend and I just signed the lease for a new apartment. We moved in together into my place in December, but it was really too small for two people. Our new place is 1200 square feet, which is pretty big for the city we live in - it's hard to find something that big for an acceptable price. I have started moving my stuff over, starting with my books. I always do my books first when I move.

I feel really good about all the energy that will shift with this move. Moving always upends all the stagnant energy in your life and your physical environment and forces you to pare down the things you don't need, and even upgrade to better stuff. For example, I want to get rid of my old scratched up pots and pans and invest in some nicer ones that will last for a long time and not contaminate my food with toxic materials.

It will also be the first place we moved into together at the same time, and the first place where we are both on the lease. I feel really happy about that and excited to create a nice home together. I hope that all the energy unlocked and potentiated with this change will help me gain the momentum I need to figure out what to do in other areas of my life, especially relating to my work and my income. I can't keep living the way I am for much longer, working six days a week and never having any time to rest or work on my personal projects.

I hope that by shedding all of the excess possessions and habits I don't need and doing a good job of curating my environment and activities, I can gain more energy and more clarity and make good decisions that will benefit my life. I want my life to be slower, easier, less stressful, more enjoyable. I want to have the time to enjoy things instead of feeling like my time is always running out.

I wish I could find a remote job that pays well so I could actually spend time in my home; I spend the majority of my waking hours sitting at my desk in the office, looking at this computer screen.

There's a community garden not too far away from the new apartment. I had connected with some people there when I lived at my previous apartment, but they said I didn't live close enough and probably wouldn't get priority for a plot. The new place still isn't the closest, but it's closer than before. There are also some little patches of dirt along the sidewalk and building that I can probably use. It's nice because there are only three units (a triplex), so I don't think anyone would complain that I am creating gardens in the grassy areas. Also, no one lives in the two other units yet, so I can get a head start.

I think making it more of a priority to spend my days off in nature will help me stay energized and healthy. I haven't been able to go hiking much or swim in the rivers or lakes or ocean. It is so good for you, holistically, to spend time in nature and to go barefoot, to feel your entire body surrounded by the water of the earth, to see all the different shades of green. Having only one day off per week makes it hard, and I'm constantly forced to choose between different things I want/need to do equally. Obviously, I'm also now going to be really busy with the move, which will force me to defer these plans for a while, but I think once we are all settled and moved in, I will try to spend every Saturday being in nature for half of the day and then spending the other half of the day studying for LSAT/reading for pleasure/taking care of the apartment/gardening/riding my bike.

Trying to figure out how to structure and order my life and time is like playing Tetris - I am constantly trying to eliminate systems that drain energy or time and suture everything to be as seamless as possible. Changing things often helps clear energy and make new energy available that was not available before. You might have felt this if you have ever deep-cleaned a room in your house and felt how it changed everything and allowed you to focus, allowed new possibilities to pour in. I am constantly seeking new possibilities in my life and in the world around me.



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i hope the parents finally go back to work tomorrow. i miss having alone time at the apartment during the day. i'm just glad i got out of bed today first and foremost. i was very tempted not to.

i don't work till saturday this week. i want to hang out with people and leave the house. hopefully i can, once i'm covid free. still mad that it got brought home, i've been so careful with masking.

not sure what i'll do besides try and make plans. maybe i can finally start working on my neocities again. who knows.

my really (un)interesting thoughts #13

hello typical weekly oversharing Sesh

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new theme Who Dis. hello my monyayers! omg kraftwerk started playing im gonna Explode i luv dem. welp! i had NNOO SCHOOOL today and it was so Awesome. jk i kind of sat around and watched hermitcraft and danny gonzalez all day.. awkward.. but DESERVED omg i spent my whole weekend sat and sun doing school work morning to night no exaggeration. they were not lying about this year being tough. idk how im gonna make it Tbh. but whatever. its debrief time anyways soo. lesson today. Kingdontsurf. was HERE. ty. Sigh. im always so sweaty. and he's like consistently doing that thing where he sits like 2 freaking inches away bro calm DOWN JESUSSS. well i was doing freaking whatever triplet comping but with the kick and it SUCKS i wwas so nervous. i think im way better NOT in that darn classroom because of the Pressure. so i act like im worse than i am. LOL. like wut. like im focusing trying so hard. BUT ITS SO EMBARASSING to mes up. anyways i was Lowk struggling and it didn't sound even at all even. but Whatever. anyways my King isaac walked in and wuz like Hey Brookeee and i was like Omg Hai and he was like NICO JUST MAKING SURE UR GONNA SHOW HER THIS *shows thing on his phone*. and nico was like Yah i will dont you fret. and then he left. AND NICO GIVES A LOOK>??? and he SAID "hes trying to steal u from me because he knows ur a good student" WHATAAATTTT DA FRICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

awesome songs this week:


"Fun in my head

Is this real or a dream instead?

This is where I wanna be'

Cause it's just way too fun to leave"


LOL. so basically i think i win!. Jk. Hah. anyways.. i do it and i suck but then hes like "well you know when my Pal isaac is doing (insert some complicated super hard drum word).. it doesnt sound perfect because its not lined up.. but its still Super Awesome and Impressive and Wow. and thats liek you". and like.. i dont think what i was doing was... even CLOSE to whatever that thing he was talking about.. so Maybe an over.. reaction? idk. but Thanks. i take what i can get. even though i nnKJFHKJFGHLKFJ. OK and then so we movevd onto combining kick and snare in comping with triplet and stuff IDK THE REAL WORDS and im Like 'omg i Liek trad grip now.. its easier" and he was like Oh Yeah how did u do it.. and i was like I looked up a tutorial. and he was like SHOW ME. (JESUS CHRIT). and im like sweating shaking and hes like "y ur hands r shaking Lol" HELPPPPPP WUT DA HECK. and so i show him and he GRABS MY FFREAING HAND AAGAIN CALM DOWN. not rly. but hewas like Yah dats good. but anyways backstory i ate a whole bag of xtra spicy hot cheetos yesterday and they stained my fingers red and i HATE THAT. and i was FREAKING OUT because i was like Omg hes gonna see my nnasty fingers even worse now. but i scrubbed in the shower. so problem averted. BUT STILL. anyways i was like "its a lot of pressure Haha". WTF.


WHO SAYS THAT. and why am i ALWAYS SHAKING? Jeussus Christ. well i was fact speakin'. trad grip Feels cool but also like i think im better doinfg triplets or WHatevr. and he was like Yah ur better with trad grip i can tell! and i was like Aw Thx >_<<. well anyways i learned Crazy things. (we just combined kick and snare with the triplet comping thing). and i was Okay. i like practinc that Stuxfx. and being good later. and then i don't evnen know what i learned it was like triplet 16th stuff Da frick i dont know. but Trying my best. and it was ok.. i need to get better at not zoning out at people talking about things i think it's my worst trait. i habe suchh a hard time keeping attenion at that stuff. i need to see it. tto get it. maybbee.. idk. well we moved to my Dreaded. Piano. that i avoided for like two weeks because COMPING :CRY EMOJI:. and like Broooooke. god idk waht it is. with my comprehension. but i SUCK AT MEMORIZING CHORD INVERSIONS and SCALE STUFF. god. like SUCK SUCK. and like. EVERYONE knows that. Sigh. well we did Not jump straight into comping and Took it slow which was sooo much better. and i think i got it the most ive ever gotten it! so i think i will not avoid mmy piano this week. but im so impatient. sitting there an inverting a chord for 10 minutes is SO BORING!!!! ill try my best. well anyway he told me to like visit my schools and talk to da jazz band room but that sounds terrifying.

"If I rewind my baby

If I rewind, rhythm and knowledge, get

I rewind my baby

Every color of you"

my best jazz finds this week:


and also the tning isac was talking about was this like Teen music night or something where Teens come and play music.. it wasnt a jazz thing jsut a Thing. but i think i will go.. its kinda far though. maybe ill invite my Biffle Bae to come with. heeheheehe :3. but he was like Yeah i can try and u could play stuff.. which is WAY outside my comfort zone so idk but its on march 1. so proabbly not. i kinda wanna go just for the nice community or whatever. get out there. meet people. try something new. maybe there waill be a Cool lesbian musician girl . PLEASE. PLEASE. UGHHHHHHH. well anyways. thats it. OH and LOOL like a couple weeks ago i had to back out when leaving wahetevr and my CAR WAS PARKED NEXT TO KINGDONTSURF. and i was so scared. and today he was like Haha i saw you backing out Lol hows dat permit. and i was like i GOT MY LICENSE! and he was like "Oh yeah do u know what to do when you HYDROPLANE?" and i was like.. Idk waht hydroplaning is. and he told me. LOLLL.. ok that was it today. in what happened. anyways. the absolute LOVE of my LIFE made this new playlist with some Fire Beats that i love and im SO MAD SHE HAS A GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE OH MY GOD. she is SO COOL. and her girlfriend. IS EVIL AND HORRIBLE (im not joking. shess actually a weird person). and im so SICK of seeing them together. I NEED HER SOOO BAD. ONLY I CAN UNDERSTAND HER AND HER SOFICISITICATEDNESS! i Hate lesbians. is it weird if im liking her playlists or Naw. well she followed me back on spotify so. but she BLOCKED ME FROM HER STORY on main. but whatevr. idc. im playing the long game and waiting for her and her STUPID MEAN girlfriend to breakup. JUST YOU WAIT. sigh. OMG i just spotted my biffle bae listneing to my FAVE mils davis song on spotify im about to Bust. i love it.

"Walk round this fucking town

I like when you're not around

I hate when you call

I don't want nothing from you at all"


A CLASSIC! but so. so. GOOD! OH M OGOODDDD it scratches every itch i cant even describe it. reminds me of when i was obsessed with darcy lynn and that. but now its in like.. a different way. hits JUST AS HARD!!! Luv u charchar.

the drums in this song is so FIRE. specifically in this version! i THINK its with brushes which is SOOO COOLLLLL wat da frick.. idk dont quote me on that. BUT it is sooooo awesoMMEE oh mah god i found isaac's spotify because Obvi i did and Ty he put me onto this Banger on one of his playlistss.. my BOSS(a nova)

so Fire. yayy. dude. school is genuinely making me so crazy im gonna lose it. i have nonstop homework every night the only option i have is to grindddddddd. and freaking envirothon meetings are gonna start meeting AFTERSCHOOL UNTIL 6:30 THREE TIMES A WEEKUHHHH. oh mtn GBOODSSdsd im gonna lose it. i love you envirothon. but Jesus. Chrsist. im gonna lose my mind. ap seminar grind is insane and so stressful. idk how im gonna have time to be normal. even this 3 DAY WEEKEND i barely have time. dude. every week is just passing and passing now. its like theres no end. week then weekend week then weekend. idk what changed but its so much and so so mcuh. im FOR REAL IN PURGATORY oh naw. i wish i was able to do cool productive things like go out and take pics or maybe collage or even read but oh man. Ohhh Mannn. it. is tough. to stay motivated. ive been trying sooooooo hard to keep the mindset but life and everything is so overwhelming i can barely just stop to breathe for a second!!! in EVERYTING! asb is insane. speaking of... applications are opening and i think i am going to EXPLODE. because idk if someone is gonna go against me for historian and im so scared im gonna pee everywhere genuinely PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET NO ONE GO AGAINST ME PLEASE LET EVERYONE BE AFRAID OF ME. this is the BIGGEST deal of my life. and Jesus God. if ssome first year freaking newbie beats me for historian because shes a popular girl cheerleader i'll genuinely. Eye. Twitch. Trying. SO. Hard. but election results come out on my BIRTHDAY oh HECK NAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

well i think my passion is watching what people are listening to on spotify... its so fun. like i know.. what ur doing rn. HeHe. OMG also i applied to TWO SUMMER INTERNSHIPS THIS WEEKEND!! so i feel decently accomplished like YAY !!! i hope i get accepted into the ycc yellowstone one. because i want to live in a secluded forest for a month without my phone, hours and hours away from.. everyone i know.. that CRAZY!!! but so awesome. PLEASE ACCEPT ME!!! well. i conclude this monyay pondering the question: WHY IS CHET BAKER BANNED? I NEED TO KNOW RIGHT NOW. but maybe i will never know. thanks all my monyayers for making this monyay possible. love and hearts and kisses to all you on the internetzzies :3

Anime Figures are super cool


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Like, you can physically see your favourite characters whenever you want and you can also hold them AND they are in 3D, BEST THINGS EVER!!!!

I know they can be expensive but I think they're usually worth the money :3


And also sepsis update

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Someone remind me to get work done on my site once I'm not sick anymore because I need to update my gallery especially. After that I might open shimeji commissions... Think that'd be fun.

I went with hotglue instead of neocities in that time. I guess I'm pretty shit at figuring out relative positioning from guesses alone, so hotglue was the more solid decision for my needs. Tragically, it does not scale with monitor resolutions unless I code positioning myself. So in the end I kind of fucked myself over anyways. Oh well, I don't aim to switch at the moment, and I'm sure it's not as big of a deal as it feels. It's only a major problem on 4k resolutions, really. Speaking of, you're free to check the space out!


Life has been a bit crazy after I ended up in the hospital for three months due to sepsis. Things have been better, but my health needless to say has definitely took a hit probably for the rest of my life. I have to stay on BP meds (beta-blockers) or else my heart starts going haywire, but sometimes the meds make me lightheaded haha. Guess the whole mess put an indefinite hold on any web creation projects.



Composed on

I want to hangout more. Hmm I'm thirteen, I love to watch sunsets and I don't really have a style. I'm free too any age and also, BRING CANDY!!

Hey, my name's Mili!! I really want to be friends with you guys. Also I am in school so I won't be on a whole lot.

I also like drawing.

My favorite book is Milkweed by Jerry Spinelli. Whatta bout yours? I love food and candy. I roleplay and I love it. I also love making friends. But what about you? Tell me more about you. *silence* Ouh really? That's cool, you should tell me so much more on discord: "mililikesfood" Hmm. How are you? I hope you're alright. You could always vent to me:)). BTW did you see the spider in the corner? Oh really?? Hmmma alright. Do you like candy and food?

You got any candy? Mhhh... Oh also I'm alright for now!!

You should tell me more about the food and candies you like.

{Poof} I disappear. OH AND I WRITE STORIES.



• Composed on


parents brought home covid. luckily i shouldn't get too sick, but i really can't afford to have another bad paycheck. so frustrating. oh well. guess i should focus on the fact i have more downtime.

maybe i can finally get around to remaking my neocities. i keep wanting to but i am really good at just watching youtube all day.

perhaps i'll do something smaller first, like remaking my spacehey layout. i just want to do something more than youtube and spacing out.

i suppose i should also make sure to get plenty of rest as i am sick...

music ★

Composed on

i love melanie martinez's songs they're so real and relatable. my favorite song by her is sippy cup, the entire song makes me realize how much others can relate to me. omg now my love is all mine is playing. as i often tell people:

you cant out mitski the mitski-er

Working to Live and Living to Work

On exhaustion

• Composed on

I was feeling quite exhausted last night. I feel like the past couple of years, but especially the last six months maybe, I have been the most exhausted I have ever been. I'm not sure if it's because of the exhaustion of working two jobs finally catching up to me, some sort of long covid, the effects of running on caffeine, simply the exhaustion of getting older, or multiple of the above.

I work six days a week, and the one day off I have per week is never enough to rejuvenate myself from the depths of my exhaustion. Even if I laid in bed all day and rested and never got anything done or saw anyone or went anywhere, it's simply not enough time to rest.

Last night my boyfriend and I celebrated Valentine's Day and we got food and just hung out and parallel played like we usually do. I felt total exhaustion in every limb lying in bed and trying to read a book. I hardly had the energy to get up from bed to shower. I had a terrifying dream about trying to hide something really damning from my boss, always skirting around the edge of being discovered and revealed completely. I woke up very exhausted.

My boyfriend and I are looking for a new place, and we're going to view some apartments this weekend. We got a notice on the door that the landlord is raising the rent once the lease is up, and we were already planning on moving anyway, but it means I really would like to move out by the end of the lease. Rent is so expensive in the city where we live - it is like you spend all your time working just in order to afford rent so you have somewhere to sleep and then you get up and spend everyday away from your home, never really getting to enjoy it after all that. I spend the majority of my waking hours sitting at my desk at work looking at a computer screen; I can think of nothing more depressing or soul-crushing than that fact.

I have a meeting today to speak with some people who are trying to form a community land trust in a nearby neighborhood. A community land trust basically helps tenants buy land from landlords and then keeps rent perpetually affordable instead of constantly jacking up prices. I am really interested in trying to work with a CLT to buy an apartment building with my friends, like have a bunch of my friends try to move into the same building and then buy it from the landlord through the CLT.

For those of you who are still teenagers or in college, I hope the world will be different when you come of age, but most likely, it will be just as bad as it was and is for me. I hope more people will learn about CLTs and low equity housing cooperatives and start taking back stewardship of the land. Landlords are horrible. They do things like create a rule that says you can't apply for the apartment unless you are earning 3x the amount of rent, and the rent itself is already approaching $3,000, even for a one bedroom! So imagine: they are saying you need to be earning almost $9,000 per month in order to even be allowed to apply! The barrier to entry for being able to apply for an apartment here is earning six figures! What in the insanity!

Anyway, the levels of exhaustion I am experiencing are totally unsustainable. I am trying to see how I can change my life to make it make more sense, but there isn't all too much I can do. You have to change material conditions in order to start experiencing new things. I hope moving will cleanse and shift a lot of energy in our lives and will represent a positive new beginning for our life together in a domestic partnership. Maybe changing my diet a bit and eating more superfoods, minerals, etc. could help give me more energy as well.

I really miss being outside more. I want to do all these things, but it's so hard when I only have one day off. I also am trying to study for the LSAT, but the constant exhaustion I'm experiencing has been a major barrier to making any significant progress with that.

about me

all about eilo e. the silly ever. html user.

• Composed on

my name is eilo and i'm 16

they/them hetero afab

i love this goofy guy

him too

one piece is my ultimate interest !

eng/jp/latin ok!

Composed on

life becomes much more harder when you realize that you cannot just glide easily through everyday. when you have to work hard for what you earn, you want to give up. i want to give up yet i know this is just a challenge that every other person has faced. though it isn't that hard for most, it's hard for me as i have no grasp on reality. not a "real" grasp anyway.

i'm currently listening to 冬のはなし in journalism class on the school computer as my phone is unfortunately... taken.

i hate third period, personal financial literacy is so hard and irritating. it's technically easy its just that i can't stand being in the classroom from 9:55 to 11:30... so long.

Mardi Himal Trek in Nepal

Mardi Himal Trek | A Hidden Gem in the Himalayas of Nepal

• Composed on

Start an Unforgettable Journey: The Mardi Himal Trek

Nepal, a land of towering peaks and ancient cultures, beckons adventurers from across the globe. While names like Everest and Annapurna resonate with trekkers worldwide, there's a hidden gem waiting to be explored: the Mardi Himal Trek. Tucked away in the Annapurna Sanctuary Area, this trek offers an unparalleled experience, combining breathtaking scenery, rich biodiversity, and warm hospitality.

Discovering Mardi Himal Trek

The Mardi Himal Trek, though lesser-known compared to its counterparts like the Annapurna Circuit or Base Camp Trek, stands as a testament to Nepal's natural grandeur. Opened in 2012, this route quickly gained popularity among trekkers seeking a shorter yet equally rewarding adventure. Over 7 days (with customizable itineraries), travelers embark on a journey from the lakeside city of Pokhara to the majestic Mardi Himal Base Camp, standing tall at 4,500 meters.

A Tapestry of Natural Splendor

The allure of the Mardi Himal Trek lies in its stunning vistas and diverse landscapes. As you ascend from lush lowlands to snow-capped peaks, every step reveals a new facet of Nepal's beauty. Rhododendron forests, ancient oaks, and verdant meadows pave the way, offering glimpses of elusive wildlife like Musk deer and Langurs. The trail weaves through charming villages, where encounters with Gurung, Chhetri, Brahmin, and Tamang communities provide insight into local culture and traditions.

Highlights Along the Path

The Mardi Himal Trek promises a treasure trove of memorable experiences:

Spectacular Mountain Views: From the iconic Machhapuchre to the towering Annapurna I, the trek offers panoramic views of some of the world's highest peaks.

Enchanting Rhododendron Forests: During spring, the trail comes alive with vibrant rhododendron blooms, painting the landscape in hues of red and pink.

Cultural Immersion: Interact with locals, savor authentic cuisine, and immerse yourself in the warm hospitality of mountain communities.

Adventurous Trails: Traverse diverse terrain, from lush forests to rocky ridges, culminating in the ultimate reward: the Mardi Himal Base Camp.

Peaceful Retreat: Unlike busier routes, the Mardi trek offers a serene and intimate experience, allowing travelers to connect with nature on a deeper level.

Best Time to Trek

The optimal times for the Mardi Himal Trek are during the spring (mid-February to May) and autumn (September to mid-December) seasons. Spring brings clear skies, blooming rhododendrons, and snow-capped landscapes, while autumn offers stable weather and stunning mountain views. Brave souls can also embark on the trek during summer, though monsoon rains present additional challenges.

Tailored Itineraries for Every Adventurer

Whether you're a seasoned trekker or a first-time explorer, the Mardi Himal Trek offers something for everyone. With customizable itineraries ranging from 4 to 7 days, travelers can tailor their journey to suit their preferences and fitness levels. From leisurely hikes to adrenaline-pumping ascents, every moment is an opportunity to create lasting memories.


In the heart of Nepal's Annapurna region, the Mardi Himal Trek beckons with its untamed beauty and unparalleled charm. As you traverse ancient forests, meandering rivers, and rugged ridges, you'll discover a world where time stands still and nature reigns supreme. So, lace up your boots, breathe in the mountain air, and embark on an unforgettable adventure through the Himalayas. The journey awaits.

<a href="https://northnepaltrek.com/mardi-himal-trek">Mardi Himal Trek</a>