I am currently trying out PJSEKAI for the first time.

Okay, that was a lie.

I've played it before, but ended up forgetting about it and just deleting my account. It was fun to play, but it's a story-oriented game, and I found it boring

I used to skip all of the cut scenes because I never really cared. Only played games for the gameplay, really.

You could say that I got more into reading, yeah?

I'm currently waiting for the game to finish downloading.

I'm a bit different now.

Praying for freedom from this pain. This ends at 18. Only a year and roughly 3 months to go. For the pain I will cause my darling I will never forgive myself; even as a ghost. Though I could promise her the temporary pain will be worth it. For she will no longer be subjected to the daily pain I am causing her now.

1. 11. 23

i've been sketching more because i want to draw for myself again

here are a few

Lotus Pond | 2018

Naomi Bautista

Garden | 2018

Jan De Vliegher

i. velvet

ii. overglow

iii. new eyes

vi. comin' in hot

iv. superpower

v. loverboy {live}

xii. stranger you are {live}

xi. supoerpower {live @ El Rey Theatre}

x. comin' in hot {live}

ix. superpower {live}

vii. overglow {live}

viii. new eyes {live}

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsKlP-fFZiIPos9aAFY0dLnnfgw_bQccA

Finding a soulmate in someone you can never have. That is the worst form a torture man can be subjected to. Physical pain is nothing in comparison.

I’ve started working on a neocities website to keep a record of everything as this goes on. It’s a strange situation I’m in. Though not unfamiliar. I was in this exact situation in grade nine as well. Familiar, yet unsettling. It doesn’t feel real. My mind can’t comprehend it. I’ve disconnected it from reality. It more than likely won’t seriously exist in my mind until I take real actions towards it.

school doodles!!

I will love you for all eternity.

I will never forget you.

I’ll die for you.

You’ll have your freedom and peace back.

You’re perfect.

I saw a video by the YouTuber CGP Grey that making new year's resolutions is quite useless and hardly anyone gets them achieved. So today I'll be writing down his tips here so y'all can read 'em and use his advice!

Say you want to "read x books per month" but you've already failed the first month, and are then demotivated for the rest of the year and completely forget your resolution. Then at the end of the year you'll remember your resolution from the start of the year and feel like a complete failure since you've achieved nothing. The next year, you'll pick another (or the same) resolution and the same thing will happen. (Unless you're a stickler to resolutions and are legendary enough to be able to achieve them.)

What you should do instead is pick a "theme" for the year. E.g. "Year of Reading". Bored at home? Take your book out and begin reading. Stuck in a long queue with nothing to do? Download some e-books and begin reading them!

This whole "theme" thing may sound broad but that's the way it's meant to be. There are no limits, no deadlines, so you're completely free of the pressure of having to get x things done before a certain date.

This year I've picked something quite broad for my theme and that is "Hard-Working" and it is going very well. I was able to clear my entire room, almost on my own, which was very hard work. It's done now - I got that done in a week.

And, if you don't really like it, you can always alter it as you go along and fitting it to your liking - it's also okay to narrow it down as the year goes on. Let's say you picked "Year of Creativity" and you decided to try songwriting, but after a few months decided that playing music was more your thing. Or maybe you picked "Art" but found that you enjoy reading more. It is completely fine.

So pick a theme. Anything! Here are some ideas of what you could do:

-family

-social life

-creativity

-being kinder

-health

-being tidier

CGP Grey's YouTube Channel: (2) CGP Grey - YouTube

Here is the link to the video that inspired this (Highly recommended): (2) Your Theme - YouTube

1. 8. 23

i have been creatively blocked for a couple of years now. investing energy into social media is my biggest regret. i find myself questioning my instincts more and more as time goes on. i feel bad for people who never got to experience a non-corporate internet. i can't imagine being wired to crave external validation so early in life. i'm grateful that i have a reference on what it was like to be young and in love with yourself. there is something very childlike and free about being in love with your own ideas.

this year i fully commit to expressing myself without bounds. i will create more and dig deeper into the parts of myself i have deemed evil. i have no intention to be a new version of myself, but embody someone who was there all along. for the first time in my life i am very aware how easy it is to lose yourself in the real world, and no longer am allowing myself to be tethered to it.

I forgot all about this place. How very uncouth.

I will try to make an effort to post more.

Bring Pro Korfball to the United States this sport its not the gender but those that have the mindset to win the game one way or another. In this case we want this sport to be more inclusive for those who are transgender. In Korfball the teams have some offense and defense units each have 2 women and 2 men for each unit. The Point is that if we want to mainstream korfball in the United States we need to test it in areas without an NBA Team. This is the way we can introduce a sport that is more inclusive to a Trans person.

So far sports in general have only assumed people are born as Straight, Gay or Lesbian but never considered a trans athlete as a reality or we have to find out about that after they retired. In able for Pro Korfball to succeed in the USA we need to look how the sport succeeded in places like the Netherlands, Germany, Denmark and so on. Also we need to get some league executives to the USA and some investors to join in the formation of the league. 

Here are the cities we need to consider when forming a Korfball league: If it were to happen we need to aim for large cities without an NBA team for consideration.

West                  Central            East

Seattle               Austin             Pittsburgh

San Diego         Nashville        Jacksonville

Honolulu           Kansas City    Albany

Las Vegas           Cincinnati         Raleigh

Note this is a test run for now before we hit the larger cities like New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Washington DC, Dallas, Houston, Boston and San Francisco. Also the league must address social issues in their respective cities for the league to show they are in touch with their community. All of this are proposals that need to be in concrete at some point.  Hope for the best if anybody wants to execute ideas in this proposal. 

1/7/23

Hello everybody!! I've decided to start journaling in 2022, and decided it would be easy to do it here.

1/7/23

Hello everybody!! I've decided to start journaling in 2022, and decided it would be easy to do it here.

Journaling is one of these, and it'll most likely include goals for the week or tracking small, yet important things that have happened

I have many goals for 2022, most of which is a way

to finally get myself back on track.

I have many goals for 2022, most of which is a way

to finally get myself back on track.

Journaling is one of these, and it'll most likely include goals for the week or tracking small, yet important things that have happened

Hello everybody!! I've decided to start journaling in 2022, and decided it would be easy to do it here.

-- okay so HEY I'M BACK AA SORRY BOUT THAT SLKDFJ

-- had fried rice today for breakfast?!!?

-- working on a report due next next week but i chose to work on it today because why not

-- feeling like writing a micro fiction piece or two this aftie

-- might code something too this evening ooo aa

gato yippe

Só estou experimentando esse site estranho e confuso

life stuff

My school's open house was so fun but o so tiering

I forgot to record what medea I wact/read soI barly remember any of it lmao

Idk why my anxiety decided to level up every winter like dud let me exist lmao

I also got Fryday and Tuesday off becos my teachers got some random days off as thanks from the government for teaching doing covid

I gut my crush for secret Santa so how is winning in life s

I got haff a day of pretty much just the overtime I spent which was nice

they removed haff the trains and now the 16(4pm) train is so packed I'm legit never going to take it agen. Dis means I'm going to take the 5 train most weeks.

probs going to juse the extra time to study at the library especially sins the 4 train has so many people to make makes me stimulated

I'm turning 18 in 2023 so the government is spaming me whit ads to join the milatary

oh hello! :D im gekko, i also go by gex!

isnt it fascinating there's still so many little corners of the web that're mostly unheard of, but still waiting to be found? a lot of the internet nowadays has been dominated by a few huge techgiants and its very easy to fall into the current of algorithms, likes, views, and "engagement"- but going out and finding unique websites and communities is like leaving a huge city bombarded with advertisements and flashy billboards and constant surveillance; and then discovering little towns and communities outside of it- completely unique and filling you with curiosity and wonder

its honestly very comforting that the true purpose of the internet is still around, even if it isn't really the norm anymore

...wow thats a lot of words lmao XD

anyways i really hope i'll use this site more often; theres so many websites that i find and dont use or can never find again

i'll admit that its very strange to not worry about likes and comments and if anything i post or make will get "popular"- it was even a little discomforting at first to have complete freedom because i wasn't sure what to do with it

but it feels good to have that freedom now :3

i found this site through tumblr and it looks extremely cool- i didnt even know this existed until now

uhh i think i'll make a separate about me post after this one- dont want this to be too long ROFL

i'll see ya later!

Hii everyonee I've been feeling super burtnt out lately. not really lately... since like november I think. I don't know atp. I'm just gonna blame it on Jasper and go about my day. We talked a bit through email the other day. it ended surprisingly well. I miss him. We weren't good people to each other. We're both pretty toxic. Him more so. Who cares

Little to no formating for this post, i'm tired. I just kinda wanted a space to talk, but no reply.

i dont even really feel like typing. i'm so tired. i should go to bed soon.

2022 GOAL: READ 100 BOOKS

STATUS:

complete

51. 08/11 - zachary ying and the dragon emperor

52. 08/12 - we do this 'til we free - abolitionist organizing and transforming justice

53. 08/15 - gifts

54. 08/16 - mutual aid

55. 08/17 - the shoemaker and the tea party

56. 08/22 - the prisoner

57. 08/24 - the still **

58. 08/26 - the king

59. 08/28 - tiamat's wrath

60. 08/29 - freedom is a constant struggle

61. 08/31 - leviathan falls

62. 09/01 - dreaming in chinese

63. 09/02 - the catcher and the rye

64. 09/05 - manga in theory & practice

65. 09/21 - at dusk

66. 10/07 - daily rituals

67. 10/09 - memory's legion

68. 10/09 - luteniant nun

69. 10/14 - my senpai is annoying

70. 10/16 - chainsaw man part 1

71. 10/22 - fire punch

72. 10/24 - voices

73. 10/26 - the poppy war *

74. 10/26 - the grapes of wrath

75. 10/28 - klara and the sun

76. 10/31 - strange beasts of china

77. 10/31 - the prince

78. 11/02 - supernova era

79. 11/03 - of mice and men

80. 11/05 - empire of the vampire

81. 11/06 - hua hu ching

82. 11/09 - aurora rising

83. 11/10 - tao te ching

84. 11/11 - the sunbearer trials

85. 11/16 - the dragon republic

86. 11/20 - beginner's guide to community based art

87. 12/01 - a hero born

88. 12/03 - tai chi chuan and meditation

89. 12/05 - powers

90. 12/08 - the burning god

91. 12/11 - the secret history

92. 12/11 - taoism

93. 12/14 - the diaries

94. 12/15 - ruinsong

95. 12/17 - buddha in your backpack

96. 12/18 - the metamorphosis

97. 12/19 - death of a salesman

98. 12/22 - interview with the vampire

99. 12/26 - in an antique land

100. 12/31 - the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde and other stories

KEY:

bold - favorite

# of * - level of increasing favorite

REFLECTION: did i read a lot? yes. did i like it? yeah sure. will i do it again? probably not.

1. 01/01 - grandmaster of demonic cultivation vol 1

2. 01/05 - anyway the wind blows

3. 01/11 - leviathan wakes

4. 01/12 - iluminae

5. 01/16 - heaven official's blessing vol 1

6. 01/21 - caliban's war

7. 01/25 - abbadon's gate

8. 01/28 - the sirens of mars

9. 01/31 - verdant hopes

10. 02/15 - atomic habits

11. 02/?? - one small step can change your life

12. 02/25 - what i talk about when i talk about running

13. 02/26 - the song of achilles

14. 02/27 - iron widow *

15. 03/22 - cibola burn

16. 03/22 - frankenstein **

17. 03/25 - grendel

18. 04/08 - night

19. 04/09 - tastes like war

20. 04/30 - nemesis games

21. 05/03 - train to pakistan

22. 05/08 - the memory librarian

23. 05/11 - shadow lines

24. 05/12 - rocannon's world

25. 05/14 - planet of exile

26. 05/16 - city of illusion

27. 05/20 - left hand of darkness

28. 05/21 - the dispossessed

29. 05/22 - hainish stories

30. 05/23 - the unquiet ghost - russians remember stalin

31. 05/25 - babylon's ashes

32. 05/26 - lord of the flies

33. 05/28 - botany in the field

36. 05/30 - anarchism

37. 06/02 - the lives of others

38. 06/04 - the low land

39. 06/05 - the ultimate guide to homeschooling

40. 06/11 - beastars

42. 07/08 - always coming home

41. 07/10 - anarchism & other essays

42. 07/13 - persepolis rising

43. 07/20 - avialae

44. 07/24 - bakunin - the creative passion

45. 07/26 - a soldier's story - revolutionary writings of a new afrikaan anarchist

46. 07/31 - tablet & pen - literary landscapes from the middle east

47. 08/03 - the circle of reason *

48. 08/04 - moon of crusted snow

49. 08/09 - the modern school movement - education and anarchism in the united states

50. 08/10 - freshwater

Dec 31 2022 9:04 PM

I accidentally deleted my tumblr of 11 years. I stumbled across this website thru neocities and I think it can be just the thing I'm looking for.

In 12 days I'm meeting a boy I met on the internet. I'm texting him right now and I don't really know if I want to meet him any more.

It's the last day of 2022. These pictures are from my now defunct blog.

✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼✼

Happy New Year and Welcome to 2023!!! and hope for the Best.